Brotha Ajax said:
disposableheroine said:
Brotha Ajax said:
joliemarie said:
Brotha Ajax said:
I hate living with my mom. It's awkward as hell now that my dad is living with us for a few months(they are divorced and wear pretty much enemies for damn near 10 years until recently). School is about to start. I hate living in this city. I'm trying to change colleges and move to Florida next year. Sometimes, I wanna die. That's it.
I hear you, Ajax. Living with the parents sucks. You know what used to work for me? Pretend that I'm in a sitcom and every morning I wake up on the set. It gets easier if you try to detach yourself.
I wish that would work.....but it doesn't. I just wait until night time to hang with my friends and forget that I know my mom for 4 hours. But then when I get back home.....SHIT!!!
What helped me most growing up was concentrating on the fact that somewhere out there somebody had it worse than me, and even though my own situation sucked it could've always gotten worse. And my dad was an abusive meth addict, so it got pretty bad sometimes.
Reading helps, too, if it's something you like. I'd pour myself into books about regular kids with regular problems, or travel books. The travel ones were best, cause it gave me something positive to think about. I still look up info on places I want to visit when shit gets rough, because one of these days I'm going to be able to afford to just jet off to one of those places when I start feelin' stressed!
Keep your chin up. It'll get better if you let it.
My love for hip-hop and the 50 gigs of hip-hop and my cds are what keep me from going crazy and snapping. If I'm really pissed off, I'll play some violent ass rap like doomsday Productions or Brotha Lynch or something else that has that murderous ass sound. I also keep this kitchen knife under my mattress and stab it whenever my mom pisses me off. Not the best idea, but shit, it's something.
I need one of those "visit when shit gets rough" places. Because all I have right now is my friend's house, and drinking, which of course isn't good.
Honestly, it's been my experience that that sort of violent behaviour, even though you're not actually hurting anyone, still isn't healthy to your overall well being. It might seem to help, but in the end it's just not doing anything but giving yourself a crutch, and a crutch like that can lead to major, major issues and trouble.
You're in Sacramento? I've got friends there. How long have you lived there? If it's not been for long, then google it. I'm sure there's somewhere there you could go to get away for a bit. If you've been there forever and still have no clue, or it seems like there's nothing there, still, googling might be a good idea. There might be something close to you that you don't know about.
Options: Malls, arcades (arcades are -great- places for stress relief. Just go with a handful of quarters or tokens and play for a few hours. Very relaxing to just act like a kid and win some cheap plastic toys, for some reason), a park would be a nice peaceful place. If it's music that's your thing, as it seems to be, then go to a music store and just chill and check out new albums for a little bit. Hell, you can go to a grocery store to "escape" for a few minutes, if need be.
Don't just sit there, just go for a walk. Go to a library. Are you over 21? Drinking isn't healthy, but going to a local sports bar for some pool and a beer can be quite fun and relaxing, too. Plus you might meet a new friend who can help ease your mind, too. Who knows?
If nothing else, if you have no option to leave...call a hotline. I've done it before, and it's amazing how helpful it is to just...talk to someone, sometimes. 3am and no friends awake to talk to? Call a hotline and there's a friend.
http://suicidehotlines.com/
You don't gotta be holding a razor blade and crying to call. You don't even have to be suicidal to call. Just call to talk to someone, and it might help.
I used to listen to violent music when I got pissed, too. I still do, sometimes, though it's usually Slipknot, Atreyu, Manson, or NIN. I've found over the years it's better for me to listen to something non violent and calming, instead, when I get pissed, cause it calms me down more and in the end helps more. But that's me. You just need to find something to help you along, and focus on the future, not the present. Thinking about a present situation you can't change yet makes everything seem so pointless and annoying.
If none of that helps, you can have my msn and I'll chat with you on messenger! I'm a good listener, and sometimes I have good advice. I can't just say "Don't let it get to you" cause I hate that phrase. It rarely works to just say "I'm not going to let it bother me today" when something honestly and truly bothers you. It takes a whole lot of work and practice to learn to let the really annoying shit roll off your shoulders. But I definitely think you should do something to get your mind off it. Something other than stabbing at the air with a knife, because that's unhealthy and can lead to major problems. The worst thing in the world to do when you're upset is grab a knife, even if you don't intend on using it to harm anyone, simply because of the fact that it -symbolizes- hurting someone. You don't need to funnel your anger like that, because eventually you will snap and someone, or yourself, will get hurt. Trust me on that. I've got a scar that reminds me every goddamn day of what can happen if you feel like you can't take anymore and there's a knife around, so please, for your own safety and others', don't keep a knife around to play with when you're mad.