What's going on with you?

Let's see Miss Disposa-Cleo, what's my fortune?

 

Two options: grab a fortune cookie, or call me and I'll read your cards.

Like, f'reals! I could use the practice. I got two or three days before I can actually start.

 

I wish that would work.....but it doesn't. I just wait until night time to hang with my friends and forget that I know my mom for 4 hours. But then when I get back home.....SHIT!!!

 

What helped me most growing up was concentrating on the fact that somewhere out there somebody had it worse than me, and even though my own situation sucked it could've always gotten worse. And my dad was an abusive meth addict, so it got pretty bad sometimes.

Reading helps, too, if it's something you like. I'd pour myself into books about regular kids with regular problems, or travel books. The travel ones were best, cause it gave me something positive to think about. I still look up info on places I want to visit when shit gets rough, because one of these days I'm going to be able to afford to just jet off to one of those places when I start feelin' stressed!

Keep your chin up. It'll get better if you let it.

 

...I guess I'm the only one who posts here now!

I got another job interview in the morning! Definitely a good possibility. Graphic Design Assistant to a place that does customization of random items (like plates and books and I dunno what else), from what I can tell. I need to look over the website a little more before I head out in the morning, cause I'm struggling to remember specifically which job this one is. I've applied so many places this past week I've lost track! *L*

Wish me luck! The pay is less than the phone psychic stuff, by like half, but it's also way more stable in the pay department and I can totally do both It's like Christmas. I had no job, now I might have two!

 

disposable!!

i'm so happy for you girl!

i just recently applied for a job, but unfortunately i didn't get it. it's all good though...i'm still hunting for something where my degree will come in handy. i'm sure something will come up soon...i'm just trusting the good Lord. :wink:

but yay for you!! when do you start?

8)

 

aint noone goota talk about job huntin-shit now days....u need a frickin degree to be a walmart door greeter...lol....good luck superchic and Dis-

 

I know what I will do. In the spirit of Christmas, I will give you one of my jobs! ..well, if I get the one tomorrow. I kinda need at least one!

Been checking both craigslist and monster? It seems so annoyingly futile at times, but there are some gems on there sometimes!

Thanks! I'm happy, cause one job will just look cool on my resume. The other will look -impressive- on my resume, even though it's really not. Nothing special, but "Graphic Design Assistant" reads well if you're looking for more art jobs, which I totally am.

the tarot job I'm supposed to start by Friday. They gotta get their shit in order first, but she told me I'll be in the system no later than Friday, and I can start as soon as she emails me that e'erythangs straight.

 

I know. It's so frustrating, especially when there are so many jobs out there I know I'm more than qualified for and capable of...I just don't have any papers to prove it. An artist doesn't traditionally need a degree to create and sell art, but it goes a long way to getting you noticed by people easier. And there are a billion "art" jobs, like Graphic Design shit, that won't even give you the benefit of looking at your portfolio unless you've got a degree. Bitches. My designs are the shit.

"Hi, I graduated from The Art Institute of Houston with a Bachelor's degree in animation, wanna look at some of my paintings to hang in your gallery? They're really good!"

"Hi, I have some paintings, wanna see?"

See? Sounds so much better. Degrees are so freaking expensive, though. I'm gonna have to sell my kidney and the soul of my firstborn to pay back my loans.

 

lol, in some cases, you're right. but i have found, that most places want like a half century of experience regardless of whether you've got a degree or not. i don't know how the hell employers expect you to get the experience they want you to have, if you they won't freaking hire you so that you can gain experience....ya know? lame!! but i'm working part-time right now...i like my job, but i don't have $20,000 in student loans so that i can answer phones. argh! :shock:

in other news....and WAY off topic....i was walking to my building this morning, and i walked by this asian dude who had a serious boner going on in his drawers, LOL! and no, i wasn't checking out his "area", but my eyes just happened to go there - don't all womens' [eyes] do that? maybe i'm strange.

the end.

 

Living with parents, or in my case having parents live with you (my retired in-laws spend the winter with us, they can't handle the Canadian winters anymore) can present certain challenges. Thankfully we all get along very well, still it helps to find time just for yourself daily.

 

omg-that is so dang funny-no offense to asians but how the hell did you see that thing? that guy must be gifted...hahhahahh that is funny shit....

 

Man, I can never find time to myself, since my mom's ass doesn't work and is always home, always around. She's stressing my dad out n' shit. Like today, my dad was so stressed out, he couldn't breath and his hand went numb. Luckily he's moving back to his hometown in a few months. My mom stresses everybody out..........that bitch!!

 

My love for hip-hop and the 50 gigs of hip-hop and my cds are what keep me from going crazy and snapping. If I'm really pissed off, I'll play some violent ass rap like doomsday Productions or Brotha Lynch or something else that has that murderous ass sound. I also keep this kitchen knife under my mattress and stab it whenever my mom pisses me off. Not the best idea, but shit, it's something.

I need one of those "visit when shit gets rough" places. Because all I have right now is my friend's house, and drinking, which of course isn't good.

 

Don`t you have a room on your own where you can just be alone?

 

I have to admit that i'm not as conscientious about global affairs as i should be....but because i'm planning a trip to Russia, this one definitely caught my attention.

I'm glad that they're calling a cease-fire for now. That definitely puts me at ease a little bit. Everybody in my family thinks i'm nuts for taking a trip into a foreign country, but to me, it's an opportunity that i just can't refuse. Not only do i get to see Dinara and spend time with her, but because i'm graduating from college and am about to start my career, i probably won't have another chance to do something like this until....umm....who knows when.

By the way, we definitely agreed to post all of our pictures on here. There's gonna be so much to see! Her dad is also friends with this photographer guy, and he's gonna do some professional looking photos for us. :wink:

 

Honestly, it's been my experience that that sort of violent behaviour, even though you're not actually hurting anyone, still isn't healthy to your overall well being. It might seem to help, but in the end it's just not doing anything but giving yourself a crutch, and a crutch like that can lead to major, major issues and trouble.

You're in Sacramento? I've got friends there. How long have you lived there? If it's not been for long, then google it. I'm sure there's somewhere there you could go to get away for a bit. If you've been there forever and still have no clue, or it seems like there's nothing there, still, googling might be a good idea. There might be something close to you that you don't know about.

Options: Malls, arcades (arcades are -great- places for stress relief. Just go with a handful of quarters or tokens and play for a few hours. Very relaxing to just act like a kid and win some cheap plastic toys, for some reason), a park would be a nice peaceful place. If it's music that's your thing, as it seems to be, then go to a music store and just chill and check out new albums for a little bit. Hell, you can go to a grocery store to "escape" for a few minutes, if need be.

Don't just sit there, just go for a walk. Go to a library. Are you over 21? Drinking isn't healthy, but going to a local sports bar for some pool and a beer can be quite fun and relaxing, too. Plus you might meet a new friend who can help ease your mind, too. Who knows?

If nothing else, if you have no option to leave...call a hotline. I've done it before, and it's amazing how helpful it is to just...talk to someone, sometimes. 3am and no friends awake to talk to? Call a hotline and there's a friend.

http://suicidehotlines.com/

You don't gotta be holding a razor blade and crying to call. You don't even have to be suicidal to call. Just call to talk to someone, and it might help.

I used to listen to violent music when I got pissed, too. I still do, sometimes, though it's usually Slipknot, Atreyu, Manson, or NIN. I've found over the years it's better for me to listen to something non violent and calming, instead, when I get pissed, cause it calms me down more and in the end helps more. But that's me. You just need to find something to help you along, and focus on the future, not the present. Thinking about a present situation you can't change yet makes everything seem so pointless and annoying.

If none of that helps, you can have my msn and I'll chat with you on messenger! I'm a good listener, and sometimes I have good advice. I can't just say "Don't let it get to you" cause I hate that phrase. It rarely works to just say "I'm not going to let it bother me today" when something honestly and truly bothers you. It takes a whole lot of work and practice to learn to let the really annoying shit roll off your shoulders. But I definitely think you should do something to get your mind off it. Something other than stabbing at the air with a knife, because that's unhealthy and can lead to major problems. The worst thing in the world to do when you're upset is grab a knife, even if you don't intend on using it to harm anyone, simply because of the fact that it -symbolizes- hurting someone. You don't need to funnel your anger like that, because eventually you will snap and someone, or yourself, will get hurt. Trust me on that. I've got a scar that reminds me every goddamn day of what can happen if you feel like you can't take anymore and there's a knife around, so please, for your own safety and others', don't keep a knife around to play with when you're mad.

 

Yeah, I got my room, but I have to keep my door open. She always bitches at me when I close it,as if she HAS to see me or some shit. She's hella nosy.

 

Yeah, I've been in suckramento my whole life. 19 damn years. I can go to malls n' parks n' shit, but it's just not my thing. I go to Dimple Records sometimes an often find some rare ass cds for mega cheap, which puts me in a good mood, because I get to add to my collection. My friends and I aren't really mall people. Plus they are usually busy during the day, while I have to stay home. We are pretty much night people. Since our friend moved, we have no house to hang at so we drive around or go to the bowling alley. We sometimes drink a little and drive around(with one of our friends being the sober driver of course) and hit up the bowling alley and bowl or play pool just because it's something to do.

I think about taking walks sometimes, but I'm hella lazy. I'll eventually do it. I'll just turn on my cd player and go for a walk. I usually go for drives though blasting my music. That's the best way I clear my head. I just tell my mom I'm going to Jack in the Box.

And yeah, I got a scar too that I wish I didn't give myself. I hate when people ask me about it. I just say I cut it climbing over a fence. I don't wanna fuck with a suicide hot line though. That shit makes me feel worse just thinking about it.



But it's whatever, I guess. I'll just wait it out and try not to snap long enough to when I move away. That another year though.

 

What would happen if you just closed it in front of her nose?
Everybody has to be alone sometimes. Even my nosey roommates accepts that. When people won´t leave me alone for days (friends to sleep here, bf to stay here for days, no moment on my own) I get nervous and aggressive.

I think dh (who I love more and more ;-) that wasso sweet of you) wrote a lot of helpful things.
My advice for you is that you need to reduce your stress level, which is easily said.
But hurting yourself or stabbing the matress won´t work on this. Maybe this sounds weird to you but you could do sports like jogging to get rid of the adrenaline. It helps to make your head free and relax all that muscles in your back. Plus, you get your butt trained. :mrgreen:
Good luck to you.
I know a year is long but you can look forward to moving out.
It will be great to hae your own place.