Thanks, it's way too late for being careful. Three years is a long time, and I am not even sure how I really feel. I mean, of course I am angry at him and pissed off at myself for not recognizing things for what they were a lot earlier, but I am mostly just hurt, so hurt that he could talk about the future together all the while planning the same future with her - it's like a double lifestyle movie of the week! But it's also kind of a relief that it wasn't me, because whenever I brought up something that he said or did that didn't make sense, he would get either get defensive, or more often, he would get mad and accuse me of being paranoid and "warn" me that he didn't want to be in a relationship where there was no trust! So of course, I would drop the subject and think maybe I was reading too much into stuff. Wish I could just stay home in bed today, but that's not an option. I appreciate everyone's words of support.