feminism vs. meninism

[K]

I tell you what though....I've met men like this one in the video. They think they want a woman who was raised to be supportive and even help build them up, but they really are looking for a woman like he describes his relationship with his wife.

 

[Madeleine]

Welcome to the Black American Matriarchy.

Lol. Thanks, I’m learning something on here.
Black American men must be so easy to deal with if that’s how they are brought up;-)

 

[Madeleine]

I had a conversation with a man recently who was talking about this and how differently his mother treated him and his sisters. (Much like some of you have talked about on here). He said he realized that when he first started dating non-black women he mistakenly got with women who were controlling. In the beginning he didn't see it as controlling. Because the women were so involved and "proactive" in doing things he saw it as them being more interested and such.....because his mother was not. However, he came to realize that it was the other side of the coin. Controlling and manipulative is controlling and manipulative sometimes it just shows up differently.

The whole Black American Matriarchy vs White(or other) Patriarchy thing is an ongoing struggle for me to understand. I think I am so ingrained in the patriarchal mindset and believe me there are major issues with that as well. But it can be a really difficult thing when it comes to an IR. Everything within me is about being and will do anything to not engage in a power struggle with a man if I'm involved with him.

My mum used to play advocatus diaboli with my dad all the time. It wasn’t usually well-received. My parents are no more together so I had to really sit down and consider what worked and how I wanted my own relationship to be and who am I as a woman rather than just follow example. An example that obviously didn’t lead to a happy marriage...