Family Rejection

Addolorata

Addolorata

Active Member
Have anyone of you been rejected by your family because you are involved in a interracial relationship?

And how do some of you deal with the "throwing away your genetic lineage" comment?
 
Give it a chance....

I have not been rejected but have experienced strong family disapproval, to which my response has been "If you want to remain in relationship with me, you will have to deal with the choice I have made.". If they cannot, it grieves me because they are family, but it will not sway how I conduct my life.
 
Much like Ches, I have experienced judgmental relatives based on my interracial relationships. While it was hurtful at the time, I had to let go of a lot of the hurt and resentment I felt based on how others felt about my relationships.

I think the most hurtful thing is seeing how my children are treated differently by my family. They don't have that close relationship with my side of the family and I do not force it. I figure that my boys are old enough to see and witness the blatant absence for themselves, and my daughter is a sweet and happy little girl, so I let her grow and try to explain why her nana and papa aren't around...if she asks. because they have been absent from her life so much, when they do come around, she doesn't really know them and it never really phases her.
 
Had I felt more comfortable, I would have asked this same question when I first joined. I came here searching for answers. Time will tell whether the OP is a troll, but I think I've proven that I'm not. :smt102
 
Cherok33 said:
Much like Ches, I have experienced judgmental relatives based on my interracial relationships. While it was hurtful at the time, I had to let go of a lot of the hurt and resentment I felt based on how others felt about my relationships.

I think the most hurtful thing is seeing how my children are treated differently by my family. They don't have that close relationship with my side of the family and I do not force it. I figure that my boys are old enough to see and witness the blatant absence for themselves, and my daughter is a sweet and happy little girl, so I let her grow and try to explain why her nana and papa aren't around...if she asks. because they have been absent from her life so much, when they do come around, she doesn't really know them and it never really phases her.
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Oh I'm sorry. My family didn't approve of my cousins relationship with this guy from Liberia. (you know how they say Italian families are very close) So they tried excluding her from family gatherings. I spoke up about it, but they seem to brush always away my opinion.
 
Addolorata said:
Have anyone of you been rejected by your family because you are involved in a interracial relationship?

And how do some of you deal with the "throwing away your genetic lineage" comment?
Click to expand...
Ignore those other comments, you're not a troll. We can't be close-minded about what the reality is here.

I haven't even been in one (a relationship) and at times my mother would get upset at me when the topic of me being attracted to other races of women comes up. I just tell her, if I really wanted a BW (and the best of them), we should not have come to America and have stayed in the Carribbean Islands (my parents home country) instead, where the population is nearly 100% Black/Caribbean/West Indian.

I don't have aversion for any particular race/person, nor do I like one race of women exclusively. It just doesn't make sense (to me) for skin complexion to be the #1 factor in forming relationships and it supersedes things that are more important in a person like values, morals, educational standing, health condition, finances, etc. Try telling something like this to your family members. Maybe they'll understand a little clearer.
 
The only thing ever really said to me was from a white ex. He said something along the lines of, "I always knew you'd end up with a football player... but never thought he'd be black".

The first time my mom heard of my ex, was when I was in the hospital after throwing up blood. Later, my aunt asked my mom if the bf was black, white or... , my mom just said, "I don't care if he's purple, if he's looking after my daughter, he's a keeper".
He met basically my entire extended family at a family reunion, even people I don't know the names of... and to my knowledge nothing negative has been said. (At least, not to my face). My dad even bought an extra tye die shirt that he was using for "his" family (him, mom, me, my sister... and the ex).

With friends... if anyone judged me on having a black boyfriend, I cut them out of my life. I didn't want their negativity around, and if they couldn't respect my decisions then that was that.


I think I'm one of the very lucky ones, to have my family's support. :heart:
 
Mikey said:
Ignore those other comments, you're not a troll. We can't be close-minded about what the reality is here.

I haven't even been in one (a relationship) and at times my mother would get upset at me when the topic of me being attracted to other races of women comes up. I just tell her, if I really wanted a BW (and the best of them), we should not have come to America and have stayed in the Carribbean Islands (my parents home country) instead, where the population is nearly 100% Black/Caribbean/West Indian.

I don't have aversion for any particular race/person, nor do I like one race of women exclusively. It just doesn't make sense (to me) for skin complexion to be the #1 factor in forming relationships and it supersedes things that are more important in a person like values, morals, educational standing, health condition, finances, etc. Try telling something like this to your family members. Maybe they'll understand a little clearer.
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Damn Mikey dropping some serious knowledge there bro.

Poignantly stated about what's up. :smt038
 
nicole89marsh said:
The only thing ever really said to me was from a white ex. He said something along the lines of, "I always knew you'd end up with a football player... but never thought he'd be black".

The first time my mom heard of my ex, was when I was in the hospital after throwing up blood. Later, my aunt asked my mom if the bf was black, white or... , my mom just said, "I don't care if he's purple, if he's looking after my daughter, he's a keeper".
He met basically my entire extended family at a family reunion, even people I don't know the names of... and to my knowledge nothing negative has been said. (At least, not to my face). My dad even bought an extra tye die shirt that he was using for "his" family (him, mom, me, my sister... and the ex).

With friends... if anyone judged me on having a black boyfriend, I cut them out of my life. I didn't want their negativity around, and if they couldn't respect my decisions then that was that.


I think I'm one of the very lucky ones, to have my family's support. :heart:
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Interesting Nicole, like that

I always have an affinity to white women who have a strong sense of self confidence, assertiveness and knows what they want.

Maybe that's why I like the artistic types that have a strong sense of an independent identity.

If they are a secure individual they can operate from a place of sound reasoning and deal with the challenges they may encounter along the way.
 
Addolorata said:
Have anyone of you been rejected by your family because you are involved in a interracial relationship?

And how do some of you deal with the "throwing away your genetic lineage" comment?
Click to expand...

there's no such thing as "throwing it away" people only use that line to instill guilt in you because they cant come up with any logical reason you shouldn't be with a black guy
 
MissWacy said:
there's no such thing as "throwing it away" people only use that line to instill guilt in you because they cant come up with any logical reason you shouldn't be with a black guy
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a lot of people seem to think when a black guy sees a pretty white lady he wants to rape her. cant tell you how many times ive head this :mad:
 
Addolorata said:
Have anyone of you been rejected by your family because you are involved in a interracial relationship?

And how do some of you deal with the "throwing away your genetic lineage" comment?
Click to expand...
Hello, ALL!!

I am a new poster to this BM/WW thread. I am a 5'7 black man that has dated ALL kinds of races, and I believe that I have alot of insight in these threads....

Again, I've dated ALL kinds of women. My mom & dad was in the military, so I've lived ALL over the country (San Diego, San Antonio, Jacksonville, & Miami before coming to Baltimore).

Most of my rejection hasn't come from people of other races, but from my OWN race. To be specific, black women. In college, I recieved my undergraduate degree from a historically black college-university (HBCU). My mom said that she would've prefered that I dated black women (Why?? I have NO idea), & my dad couldn't care less who I ended up dating. Well, long story short, I went with the woman who ended up capturing my heart, & vice versa. Even though I went to an HBCU where there was a campus full of black women, the woman who I had the best vibe with was a caucasian woman. It wasn't intended to work out that way; it just did.

I recieved rejection from my mom, most of blood sister (and I have 9 sisters, only 1 didn't have a problem with it), and all of the black women I went to school with.

My thing is this........what ever happened to havin' an open mind?? What ever happened to being color-blind?? :smt102
 
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I come from a very racist Italian family. Well, to be specific, my mom is super racist. Dad doesnt care much as long as a guy treats me well.

I used to let the attitudes bother me...mom once asked if an ex was "a normal looking black, or an ugly black" and if he was "black black or brown". Yes. Really. No, I did not punch her. Yes, I thought about it.

My way of dealing with it is to tell her that who I choose to date has nothing to do with her, and she should be proud to have raised me not to see skin color as a litmus test for goodness. I also told her to put on her big girl panties and deal with it, because I am not going to change, but the world has changed around her already. That, and I made her tell people why I wouldn't come to dinners and stuff since she refused to allow my ex in her home (on my birthday, no less, for cake!!). It was always amusing to hear from people that they told her she was being an asshole.

She has gotten better.

I use that term....better....lightly.
 
Give your mom some interracial porn, followed by a porn parody of Jersey Shore. She'll think twice.

TheHuntress said:
I come from a very racist Italian family. Well, to be specific, my mom is super racist. Dad doesnt care much as long as a guy treats me well.

I used to let the attitudes bother me...mom once asked if an ex was "a normal looking black, or an ugly black" and if he was "black black or brown". Yes. Really. No, I did not punch her. Yes, I thought about it.

My way of dealing with it is to tell her that who I choose to date has nothing to do with her, and she should be proud to have raised me not to see skin color as a litmus test for goodness. I also told her to put on her big girl panties and deal with it, because I am not going to change, but the world has changed around her already. That, and I made her tell people why I wouldn't come to dinners and stuff since she refused to allow my ex in her home (on my birthday, no less, for cake!!). It was always amusing to hear from people that they told her she was being an asshole.

She has gotten better.

I use that term....better....lightly.
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GQ Brotha said:
Interesting Nicole, like that

I always have an affinity to white women who have a strong sense of self confidence, assertiveness and knows what they want.

Maybe that's why I like the artistic types that have a strong sense of an independent identity.

If they are a secure individual they can operate from a place of sound reasoning and deal with the challenges they may encounter along the way.
Click to expand...

I've dated (white) hearing guys that had their family dislike me because of the fact I'm deaf. Actually, the first "real" boyfriend I had broke up with me for it, because he couldn't deal with his family's judging on that aspect.

I'm not going to let race be a hold up in dating whoever I want to date and I certainly don't stick to dating only deaf guys. I like guys that are the same way, with self confidence and know what they want. I like hearing guys that don't let their feelings get confused by race OR hearing status (or... deaf guys that don't get confused with IR, since hearing status doesn't count then, lol). :smt023
 
nicole89marsh said:
I've dated (white) hearing guys that had their family dislike me because of the fact I'm deaf. Actually, the first "real" boyfriend I had broke up with me for it, because he couldn't deal with his family's judging on that aspect.

I'm not going to let race be a hold up in dating whoever I want to date and I certainly don't stick to dating only deaf guys. I like guys that are the same way, with self confidence and know what they want. I like hearing guys that don't let their feelings get confused by race OR hearing status (or... deaf guys that don't get confused with IR, since hearing status doesn't count then, lol). :smt023
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I keep forgetting you're deaf, Nicole. I think you are freaking awesome! a total sweetheart, hard to imagine anyone not liking you.
 
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