Do I need to change my ways

Very well said. You've got a great head on your shoulders ChosenOne. I'm sure DH appreciates you greatly. :smt023

 

That could very well be!

 

An idea seems prevalent here that attraction may be dictated by a person's inner qualities. I just think it's crucial to emphasize that physical and sexual attraction has to be present first. If it's not, you can't force it by being even the most perfect gentleman, and you can't blame the girl and say "you just can't handle a good man." It's not that.

And vice versa. If he ain't feeling me - I can jump out of my skin! - he still won't be feeling me.:-(

 

Very true, there has to be some attraction, but the staying power seems to be more about inner qualities. Well said.

 

Co-sign. I have to be attracted to him - it doesn't matter how nice he is, if I don't find him attractive, then nothing will happen with him....

But, there are tons of guys out there who are nice and attractive (in some way). Now if only one of them would cross my path.

 

And if he does... and he's average...:smt047 would you be okay with that?

 

He doesn't have to be a model. I do have to find something physically attractive about him. It could be anything from his eyes, to his smile, to his shoulders. LOL. But, yeah, he doesn't have to be drop-dead gorgeous in order for me to date him....

 

you didn't get it... I was referring to another thread... average... above-average... remember?

 

LMAO!! Yep, that went right over my head! HAHAHAHAA!!

Okay, now that we're on the same page, yes, I would be okay if he was average. It doesn't matter the size, I get the same results.

 

Yes. You want to have the cake and eat it, too. :smt113:smt113

 

I would caveat that by saying it also depends on what you want from a woman at the time. A woman like you described is clearly not the marrying type. On the other hand, if you're just looking for a freak...

 

Absolutely!

You poor men don't really have a chance of understanding what it is we really want. We speak totally different languages.

 

See, this is what guys need to hear. You always hear women say "I want someone who can stimulate me intellectually and make me laugh", so the smart funny brothas think you're talking about them. It's rare that a woman also says "Physical attraction comes first".

Here's the thing, though. It's not that the women that are passing up on the nice guys are ending up with better looking nice guys. They end up with better looking assholes. Given that, I think the point still stands. Women don't want a nice guy. They want the good looking bad boys.

 

Do YOU guys truly know what it is that you want?

 

Nice guys can be good looking too. Very. Very.

 

Can I plead the fifth here?

I don't think we know, I think we are discovering it, and when it's all good so far, we're good, but then when something unexpected happens we have to re-evaluate, until of course we make up our mind, then it doesn't matter, cuz we'll let you get away with nearly anything.

Did that sound like "more of the same", sorry?

 

So True, so true!!

 

Oh, I'm sure they can. That doesn't change the fact that women seem to be more apt to being with a good looking asshole, than a not-quite-as-attractive nice guy.

 

Oh, we get it allright. As James Brown sang, it's a man's world, but it don't mean nothing without a woman or a girl.

So we play along sometimes in order to get what we want. :smt077

 

And, yet another journey into the mind of the fairer sex leaves me confused.