Random Conversation 2.0

Slow down Amazon I'm saying women in general(not all) would prefer to have the choice to work but not HAVE to work. See the difference boo? Not knocking your drive and ambition but as of late I've been around and see so many women professionals and menial workers alike who would give it all up to live on a beach drinking mai thais lol
And to be clear I never said I want a stay at home wife just the ability to give my lady a great life where she doesn't have to worry about money

I'd say that's a universal truth for both men and women.

PS. I've actually dated MEN that wanted me to support them. Nice, strong, lazy-ass men. (they were very short relationships since I want a PARTNER, not a grown-ass child to care for).
 
I'd say that's a universal truth for both men and women.

PS. I've actually dated MEN that wanted me to support them. Nice, strong, lazy-ass men. (they were very short relationships since I want a PARTNER, not a grown-ass child to care for).

I would agree with you if it weren't for the fact that so many women go into certain professions with the idea that they will meet a man who will pick up the majority of the slack so they can stay home and have kids if they want to. I see it out here all the time with women going into professions like social work and teaching. Professions that barely pay anything based on the assumption one day they'll meet a dude who will afford them a lifestyle they can't afford on their own. I can't say I've ever seen the male counterpart to that, not to say it doesn't exist just not prevalent from what I've seen. I agree there are a shit ton of lazy people who won't work but its far more socially acceptable for a woman to be taken care of. Just my personal observation
 
I'm disappointed in both of you. I hear disdain in both of your posts.

Women who choose to stay home and MAKE A HOME for their family (not "cook and clean" for a man - that's not a wife/homemaker - that's a MAID!) are making a noble decision. Women who say they would go insane if they had to stay home seem like one-dimensional people (no offense, Athena). I have had friends who were certain they wouldn't survive staying at home (these are women with children, now, not just a husband) and now, they can't imagine going back to work. You adapt and you find other talents you didn't know you had. There are sooooo many ways to be productive and still be a homemaker. And TDK, your assertion that a lot of women go into professions like teaching and social work because they hope a man will come along and "take over" is just nonsense.

Women, for the most part, are designed to be nurturers. Some more than others. (And that's not to say that men are not nurturers, but I don't think that's their primary trait.) THAT, imo, is what likely leads them into professions like teaching, social work, nursing, etc. I find it laughable, in this day and age, that a woman considering college and career choices would say to herself "I'm going to be a social worker and earn diddly squat because hubby isn't far off and he'll come along and rescue me."

I really despise it when people put down the stay-at-home mom. I was one and if I had to do it over again, I would do it again. Does it seem like I wasn't pulling my share of the weight by choosing to stay home? I thought so for awhile. Then I realized that I saved my family money by being home; not only that, by taking care of everything at home, I freed up my (ex) husband to concentrate on his job. And, as most of you know, he was active-duty military - no 9-5 job there. We lived his career. I sure as h*ll pulled my weight - even though I didn't earn a paycheck. He earned it for both of us. And I was quite fulfilled as a homemaker - much more so than as a working woman. And I definitely didn't have time to sit around drinking mai tais and popping bonbons. I was BUSY!!

Having said that, if a woman chooses to pursue a career, that's her right as well. Women don't HAVE to stay at home. But when they choose to, or when a man desires to earn enough to allow his wife to be at home (which I greatly respect), I don't think it should be looked down on as an inferior or distasteful choice.
 
I would agree with you if it weren't for the fact that so many women go into certain professions with the idea that they will meet a man who will pick up the majority of the slack so they can stay home and have kids if they want to. I see it out here all the time with women going into professions like social work and teaching. Professions that barely pay anything based on the assumption one day they'll meet a dude who will afford them a lifestyle they can't afford on their own. I can't say I've ever seen the male counterpart to that, not to say it doesn't exist just not prevalent from what I've seen. I agree there are a shit ton of lazy people who won't work but its far more socially acceptable for a woman to be taken care of. Just my personal observation

TDK, people go into teaching and social work (there are women AND men in those professions) because they want to help people. They want to be a positive force in peoples' lives.

You need a Master's degree to be a Social Worker and people aren't choosing that profession so they can get out when they find a mate.

If people want to just find a mate so they can stop working, they'd work in retail.

And have you seen teachers' salaries lately? They are making a reasonable salary.

I'm disappointed in both of you. I hear disdain in both of your posts.

Women who choose to stay home and MAKE A HOME for their family (not "cook and clean" for a man - that's not a wife/homemaker - that's a MAID!) are making a noble decision. Women who say they would go insane if they had to stay home seem like one-dimensional people (no offense, Athena). I have had friends who were certain they wouldn't survive staying at home (these are women with children, now, not just a husband) and now, they can't imagine going back to work. You adapt and you find other talents you didn't know you had. There are sooooo many ways to be productive and still be a homemaker. And TDK, your assertion that a lot of women go into professions like teaching and social work because they hope a man will come along and "take over" is just nonsense.

Women, for the most part, are designed to be nurturers. Some more than others. (And that's not to say that men are not nurturers, but I don't think that's their primary trait.) THAT, imo, is what likely leads them into professions like teaching, social work, nursing, etc. I find it laughable, in this day and age, that a woman considering college and career choices would say to herself "I'm going to be a social worker and earn diddly squat because hubby isn't far off and he'll come along and rescue me."

I really despise it when people put down the stay-at-home mom. I was one and if I had to do it over again, I would do it again. Does it seem like I wasn't pulling my share of the weight by choosing to stay home? I thought so for awhile. Then I realized that I saved my family money by being home; not only that, by taking care of everything at home, I freed up my (ex) husband to concentrate on his job. And, as most of you know, he was active-duty military - no 9-5 job there. We lived his career. I sure as h*ll pulled my weight - even though I didn't earn a paycheck. He earned it for both of us. And I was quite fulfilled as a homemaker - much more so than as a working woman. And I definitely didn't have time to sit around drinking mai tais and popping bonbons. I was BUSY!!

Having said that, if a woman chooses to pursue a career, that's her right as well. Women don't HAVE to stay at home. But when they choose to, or when a man desires to earn enough to allow his wife to be at home (which I greatly respect), I don't think it should be looked down on as an inferior or distasteful choice.

Co-sign.

My parents had 5 kids and my Mom stayed home and she did WORK when she was home. It's a job that doesn't bring in a paycheck, but it's a job that brings in other things.

I love the fact that I didn't have to go to after school care and that I could come home from school and have my Mom there, growing up. I HATE that I can't do that for my daughter.

And when I say that, I mean, I wish I could work from home so that I don't have to send my daughter to before and after school care.
 
TDK, people go into teaching and social work (there are women AND men in those professions) because they want to help people. They want to be a positive force in peoples' lives.

You need a Master's degree to be a Social Worker and people aren't choosing that profession so they can get out when they find a mate.

If people want to just find a mate so they can stop working, they'd work in retail.

And have you seen teachers' salaries lately? They are making a reasonable salary.



Co-sign.

My parents had 5 kids and my Mom stayed home and she did WORK when she was home. It's a job that doesn't bring in a paycheck, but it's a job that brings in other things.

I love the fact that I didn't have to go to after school care and that I could come home from school and have my Mom there, growing up. I HATE that I can't do that for my daughter.

And when I say that, I mean, I wish I could work from home so that I don't have to send my daughter to before and after school care.

Ok I'd like both you and Ches to check out female dating profiles some time. Im not making this shit up. Wish it was made up
 
can a woman be too clever to be a stay-at-home mum?

Partners should be able to make choices that best suit them, not run a rat race like fierce competitors trying to build a bridge to nowhere. Where there is trust people take the necessary risk to make those sacrifices whether you are the earner or the home-maker, for some it really doesn't matter.

As high-achieving mothers who give up their careers are accused of wasting their education... can a woman be too clever to be a stay-at-home mum?

By Frances Hardy

PUBLISHED: 00:15 GMT, 15 March 2012 | UPDATED: 15:14 GMT, 15 March 2012


Louise Kirk is passionate about the importance of being a stay-at-home mum. With good reason — she’s raising four formidably accomplished children.

Her three sons won scholarships to a top public school — they were choristers at Westminster Cathedral — and her daughter has just got a place at Oxford University.

The women of her family have a tradition of going to Oxford: Louise read history there; her mother-in-law is a past student; so, too, was her mother.
Best of both worlds: Gina Coladangelo and her children Talia, 2, and Bruno, 15 months. She's an Oxford graduate who has gone back to work doing flexible hours

Best of both worlds: Gina Coladangelo and her children Talia, two, and Bruno, 15 months. She's an Oxford graduate who has gone back to work doing flexible hours

And though they all gained degrees from one of the world’s most illustrious universities, each chose to put family before career and stay at home with her children.

The issue of high-flying women who take advantage of the best education in the world and then abandon careers to change nappies caused something of a stir earlier this month.

The debate was sparked by Danish prime minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt, who controversially singled out educated British women for ‘wasting’ their top degrees from ‘fancy universities’ to devote their best years to child-rearing.


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Continue here
 
Ok I'd like both you and Ches to check out female dating profiles some time. Im not making this shit up. Wish it was made up

That would require me to make up a fake male profile. I'm not going to do that.

But I am curious...do they actually say in their profile something along the lines of:

I am a teacher for now. But my plan is to find me a husband so I can quit working and watch soap operas all day and gain a ton of weight because I won't have to get off my ass to do anything. Muah-ahahahahahaaa!!!

Is that what their profiles look like?

Because God forbid a woman who happens to be a teacher just wants to find someone to share her life with.

TDK, you making statements like the ones you do only makes you look like a misogynist.
 
That would require me to make up a fake male profile. I'm not going to do that.

But I am curious...do they actually say in their profile something along the lines of:

I am a teacher for now. But my plan is to find me a husband so I can quit working and watch soap operas all day and gain a ton of weight because I won't have to get off my ass to do anything. Muah-ahahahahahaaa!!!

Is that what their profiles look like?

Because God forbid a woman who happens to be a teacher just wants to find someone to share her life with.

TDK, you making statements like the ones you do only makes you look like a misogynist.

Co-siggy
 
Ches, I appreciate what you are saying and please know that I did not intend to place disdain in my post about staying home for a man. I have respect for people who choose to stay home and raise good humans. It's a 24/7 job and I recognize that and respect it. What I do disdain is someone generalizing that essentially we women are looking for an easy paycheck (i.e. a man to mooch off of). It's simply not true and it pisses me off.

I especially appreciate the hard work that goes into single parenting. Women who have to do it on their own are the hardest working people out there. Kudos to them!

I do have friends though, that are parents and did go crazy staying home raising their child. They were back at work within a few months of delivery (even though in Canada, we can take a year off). So not everyone who has kids (and my post wasn't talking about parents) wants to stay home and I respect their choice too.

My only goal in even getting involved in this conversation was to squash the pervasive crap stereotype that women are gold diggers or only want to avoid working and thus trap a man to support her. In no way, was I putting down a stay at home Mother (just putting down that stereotype).

I'm disappointed in both of you. I hear disdain in both of your posts.

Women who choose to stay home and MAKE A HOME for their family (not "cook and clean" for a man - that's not a wife/homemaker - that's a MAID!) are making a noble decision. Women who say they would go insane if they had to stay home seem like one-dimensional people (no offense, Athena). I have had friends who were certain they wouldn't survive staying at home (these are women with children, now, not just a husband) and now, they can't imagine going back to work. You adapt and you find other talents you didn't know you had. There are sooooo many ways to be productive and still be a homemaker. And TDK, your assertion that a lot of women go into professions like teaching and social work because they hope a man will come along and "take over" is just nonsense.

Women, for the most part, are designed to be nurturers. Some more than others. (And that's not to say that men are not nurturers, but I don't think that's their primary trait.) THAT, imo, is what likely leads them into professions like teaching, social work, nursing, etc. I find it laughable, in this day and age, that a woman considering college and career choices would say to herself "I'm going to be a social worker and earn diddly squat because hubby isn't far off and he'll come along and rescue me."

I really despise it when people put down the stay-at-home mom. I was one and if I had to do it over again, I would do it again. Does it seem like I wasn't pulling my share of the weight by choosing to stay home? I thought so for awhile. Then I realized that I saved my family money by being home; not only that, by taking care of everything at home, I freed up my (ex) husband to concentrate on his job. And, as most of you know, he was active-duty military - no 9-5 job there. We lived his career. I sure as h*ll pulled my weight - even though I didn't earn a paycheck. He earned it for both of us. And I was quite fulfilled as a homemaker - much more so than as a working woman. And I definitely didn't have time to sit around drinking mai tais and popping bonbons. I was BUSY!!

Having said that, if a woman chooses to pursue a career, that's her right as well. Women don't HAVE to stay at home. But when they choose to, or when a man desires to earn enough to allow his wife to be at home (which I greatly respect), I don't think it should be looked down on as an inferior or distasteful choice.
 
That would require me to make up a fake male profile. I'm not going to do that.

But I am curious...do they actually say in their profile something along the lines of:

I am a teacher for now. But my plan is to find me a husband so I can quit working and watch soap operas all day and gain a ton of weight because I won't have to get off my ass to do anything. Muah-ahahahahahaaa!!!

Is that what their profiles look like?

Because God forbid a woman who happens to be a teacher just wants to find someone to share her life with.

TDK, you making statements like the ones you do only makes you look like a misogynist.

LOL..what kind of rich people do one find when you are a teacher? I assume you have to go to a special school for diplomats and actors..then maybe.

unfortunatly most people don't understand the value of a "house-wife" and *Nanny*, only, when they had to pay for them once in their life before. And btw, not 24/7, only 5 days/week, 8 hours a day
 
Ches, I appreciate what you are saying and please know that I did not intend to place disdain in my post about staying home for a man. I have respect for people who choose to stay home and raise good humans. It's a 24/7 job and I recognize that and respect it. What I do disdain is someone generalizing that essentially we women are looking for an easy paycheck (i.e. a man to mooch off of). It's simply not true and it pisses me off.

I especially appreciate the hard work that goes into single parenting. Women who have to do it on their own are the hardest working people out there. Kudos to them!

I do have friends though, that are parents and did go crazy staying home raising their child. They were back at work within a few months of delivery (even though in Canada, we can take a year off). So not everyone who has kids (and my post wasn't talking about parents) wants to stay home and I respect their choice too.

My only goal in even getting involved in this conversation was to squash the pervasive crap stereotype that women are gold diggers or only want to avoid working and thus trap a man to support her. In no way, was I putting down a stay at home Mother (just putting down that stereotype).

I appreciate this, Athena. Thank you for clarifying. :)

I felt the most true to myself when I was a homemaker. And since we're practically lightyears away from the days when being a homemaker was the norm, people who desire to be that or who enjoyed being one are often seen as inferior, imo. Wanting to stay home instead of having a fabulous career is seen as....archaic, to some. We're seen as lazy, not wanting to work (has anyone who's ever said that, ever stayed home and kept a house and raised kids?!! That's work!), or as having no ambition or goals. It's sad that homemaking is perceived that way.
 
sean connery was really sharply dressed in his james bond films. i really dig 50s and 60s tailoring.

also, for some odd reason ive been really sexually frustrated/incredibly horny lately. its crazy.
 
That would require me to make up a fake male profile. I'm not going to do that.

But I am curious...do they actually say in their profile something along the lines of:

I am a teacher for now. But my plan is to find me a husband so I can quit working and watch soap operas all day and gain a ton of weight because I won't have to get off my ass to do anything. Muah-ahahahahahaaa!!!

Is that what their profiles look like?

Because God forbid a woman who happens to be a teacher just wants to find someone to share her life with.

TDK, you making statements like the ones you do only makes you look like a misogynist.

Love how you guys run with things and internalize the worst of it. One more time its what Ive observed and experienced.
 
TDK, you know that I like chatting with you and we always end up agreeing to disagree, but it's not a matter of simply internalizing. Look at your posts below, you seriously generalize a lot. There's no doubt that you are addressing each of us when you write the things that you've written below: (and as a gentle reminder, not every man wants to take care of his woman - you know I've had my share that tried to make me take care of them by supporting them financially, giving them cash, etc. so this is an incorrect generalization too.)

Further supporting my theory that no woman wants to work lol.
In the immortal words of Patrice Oneal "Women want a winner they dont want to win"

Until theres a real offer on the table lol

until the offer not to work presents itself lol.
Trust me I'm not judging, my ultimate dream in life is make enough money so my girl can choose to work if she wants to but never has to.
Every man wants to take care of the woman he loves granted she respects the sacrafices he has to make in order for it to happen.

Love how you guys run with things and internalize the worst of it. One more time its what Ive observed and experienced.
 
Generalizations work for him until race is involved. Keep that in mind.

TDK, you know that I like chatting with you and we always end up agreeing to disagree, but it's not a matter of simply internalizing. Look at your posts below, you seriously generalize a lot. There's no doubt that you are addressing each of us when you write the things that you've written below: (and as a gentle reminder, not every man wants to take care of his woman - you know I've had my share that tried to make me take care of them by supporting them financially, giving them cash, etc. so this is an incorrect generalization too.)
 
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