Random Conversation 2.0

I'd say that's a universal truth for both men and women.

PS. I've actually dated MEN that wanted me to support them. Nice, strong, lazy-ass men. (they were very short relationships since I want a PARTNER, not a grown-ass child to care for).

 

I would agree with you if it weren't for the fact that so many women go into certain professions with the idea that they will meet a man who will pick up the majority of the slack so they can stay home and have kids if they want to. I see it out here all the time with women going into professions like social work and teaching. Professions that barely pay anything based on the assumption one day they'll meet a dude who will afford them a lifestyle they can't afford on their own. I can't say I've ever seen the male counterpart to that, not to say it doesn't exist just not prevalent from what I've seen. I agree there are a shit ton of lazy people who won't work but its far more socially acceptable for a woman to be taken care of. Just my personal observation

 

I'm disappointed in both of you. I hear disdain in both of your posts.

Women who choose to stay home and MAKE A HOME for their family (not "cook and clean" for a man - that's not a wife/homemaker - that's a MAID!) are making a noble decision. Women who say they would go insane if they had to stay home seem like one-dimensional people (no offense, Athena). I have had friends who were certain they wouldn't survive staying at home (these are women with children, now, not just a husband) and now, they can't imagine going back to work. You adapt and you find other talents you didn't know you had. There are sooooo many ways to be productive and still be a homemaker. And TDK, your assertion that a lot of women go into professions like teaching and social work because they hope a man will come along and "take over" is just nonsense.

Women, for the most part, are designed to be nurturers. Some more than others. (And that's not to say that men are not nurturers, but I don't think that's their primary trait.) THAT, imo, is what likely leads them into professions like teaching, social work, nursing, etc. I find it laughable, in this day and age, that a woman considering college and career choices would say to herself "I'm going to be a social worker and earn diddly squat because hubby isn't far off and he'll come along and rescue me."

I really despise it when people put down the stay-at-home mom. I was one and if I had to do it over again, I would do it again. Does it seem like I wasn't pulling my share of the weight by choosing to stay home? I thought so for awhile. Then I realized that I saved my family money by being home; not only that, by taking care of everything at home, I freed up my (ex) husband to concentrate on his job. And, as most of you know, he was active-duty military - no 9-5 job there. We lived his career. I sure as h*ll pulled my weight - even though I didn't earn a paycheck. He earned it for both of us. And I was quite fulfilled as a homemaker - much more so than as a working woman. And I definitely didn't have time to sit around drinking mai tais and popping bonbons. I was BUSY!!

Having said that, if a woman chooses to pursue a career, that's her right as well. Women don't HAVE to stay at home. But when they choose to, or when a man desires to earn enough to allow his wife to be at home (which I greatly respect), I don't think it should be looked down on as an inferior or distasteful choice.

 

TDK, people go into teaching and social work (there are women AND men in those professions) because they want to help people. They want to be a positive force in peoples' lives.

You need a Master's degree to be a Social Worker and people aren't choosing that profession so they can get out when they find a mate.

If people want to just find a mate so they can stop working, they'd work in retail.

And have you seen teachers' salaries lately? They are making a reasonable salary.

Co-sign.

My parents had 5 kids and my Mom stayed home and she did WORK when she was home. It's a job that doesn't bring in a paycheck, but it's a job that brings in other things.

I love the fact that I didn't have to go to after school care and that I could come home from school and have my Mom there, growing up. I HATE that I can't do that for my daughter.

And when I say that, I mean, I wish I could work from home so that I don't have to send my daughter to before and after school care.

 

Ok I'd like both you and Ches to check out female dating profiles some time. Im not making this shit up. Wish it was made up

 

Which would reveal what? How about you prove your point and show US some female profiles?

 

can a woman be too clever to be a stay-at-home mum?

Partners should be able to make choices that best suit them, not run a rat race like fierce competitors trying to build a bridge to nowhere. Where there is trust people take the necessary risk to make those sacrifices whether you are the earner or the home-maker, for some it really doesn't matter.

Continue here

 

That would require me to make up a fake male profile. I'm not going to do that.

But I am curious...do they actually say in their profile something along the lines of:

I am a teacher for now. But my plan is to find me a husband so I can quit working and watch soap operas all day and gain a ton of weight because I won't have to get off my ass to do anything. Muah-ahahahahahaaa!!!

Is that what their profiles look like?

Because God forbid a woman who happens to be a teacher just wants to find someone to share her life with.

TDK, you making statements like the ones you do only makes you look like a misogynist.

 

Co-siggy

 

Ches, I appreciate what you are saying and please know that I did not intend to place disdain in my post about staying home for a man. I have respect for people who choose to stay home and raise good humans. It's a 24/7 job and I recognize that and respect it. What I do disdain is someone generalizing that essentially we women are looking for an easy paycheck (i.e. a man to mooch off of). It's simply not true and it pisses me off.

I especially appreciate the hard work that goes into single parenting. Women who have to do it on their own are the hardest working people out there. Kudos to them!

I do have friends though, that are parents and did go crazy staying home raising their child. They were back at work within a few months of delivery (even though in Canada, we can take a year off). So not everyone who has kids (and my post wasn't talking about parents) wants to stay home and I respect their choice too.

My only goal in even getting involved in this conversation was to squash the pervasive crap stereotype that women are gold diggers or only want to avoid working and thus trap a man to support her. In no way, was I putting down a stay at home Mother (just putting down that stereotype).

 

Exactly

 

Word? Yall are crazy! Lol

 

LOL..what kind of rich people do one find when you are a teacher? I assume you have to go to a special school for diplomats and actors..then maybe.

unfortunatly most people don't understand the value of a "house-wife" and *Nanny*, only, when they had to pay for them once in their life before. And btw, not 24/7, only 5 days/week, 8 hours a day

 

I appreciate this, Athena. Thank you for clarifying.

I felt the most true to myself when I was a homemaker. And since we're practically lightyears away from the days when being a homemaker was the norm, people who desire to be that or who enjoyed being one are often seen as inferior, imo. Wanting to stay home instead of having a fabulous career is seen as....archaic, to some. We're seen as lazy, not wanting to work (has anyone who's ever said that, ever stayed home and kept a house and raised kids?!! That's work!), or as having no ambition or goals. It's sad that homemaking is perceived that way.

 

sean connery was really sharply dressed in his james bond films. i really dig 50s and 60s tailoring.

also, for some odd reason ive been really sexually frustrated/incredibly horny lately. its crazy.

 

Love how you guys run with things and internalize the worst of it. One more time its what Ive observed and experienced.

 

You do know that you're giving me major face palm this morning

 

TDK, you know that I like chatting with you and we always end up agreeing to disagree, but it's not a matter of simply internalizing. Look at your posts below, you seriously generalize a lot. There's no doubt that you are addressing each of us when you write the things that you've written below: (and as a gentle reminder, not every man wants to take care of his woman - you know I've had my share that tried to make me take care of them by supporting them financially, giving them cash, etc. so this is an incorrect generalization too.)

 

Generalizations work for him until race is involved. Keep that in mind.