Maintaining Blackness

The Dark King said:
First off the black men are usually their "first choice" because they know its their best chance at coupling in this country where they don't hold as much social value. Not to say there aren't tons of beautiful black women but the social narrative puts them at the bottom in comparison to non bw. Completely unfair but that's the reality. When they do have the chance to date non bm they usually have no problem with it in fact according to dating data bw are the most inviting and open online. Honestly it's not because they want us and we don't seem to want them (dating stats have us dating within our race at 86%) it's more about them feeling like they can't compete with non bw mainly ww in the desirability department. In my experience every other group of women don't hold out for the creame of the crop like bw do, they usually find suitable mates who are family orientated and loyal, I don't see Asian or White female professionals dating "bad boy" types in their 30s the way I see a lot of bw doing. If a lot more bw could be totally honest with themselves they would admit they look over a lot of decent men in search of a fantasy and a lot if not most are not willing to put in the work to be desirable.
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This! I have a female cousin who lives down the street from me exactly like how you mentioned. She's so picky, because she in her 30s with a good career, yet she turns down guys left and right because she's not settling. However she won't do the work necessary to get what she wants. We hang out but I think sometimes she expects me to kick it with her a lot because she doesn't have a man.
 
What's really sad is those in their 40's and even 50's still going for the "bad boys".

On the other hand the whole, being picky thing can be a tough one. It depends on what they are being picky about and why. I do get sick of hearing the whole thing about how people are such a great catch and aren't going to "settle" and how they DESERVE this or that.
 
K said:
What's really sad is those in their 40's and even 50's still going for the "bad boys".

On the other hand the whole, being picky thing can be a tough one. It depends on what they are being picky about and why. I do get sick of hearing the whole thing about how people are such a great catch and aren't going to "settle" and how they DESERVE this or that.
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Preach sis
 
K said:
What's really sad is those in their 40's and even 50's still going for the "bad boys".

On the other hand the whole, being picky thing can be a tough one. It depends on what they are being picky about and why. I do get sick of hearing the whole thing about how people are such a great catch and aren't going to "settle" and how they DESERVE this or that.
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I would ask them why. What makes them "a great catch." Because they believe? Lmao
 
orejon4 said:
Good points. I think that people who are open and not judgmental can have better chances dating people in general, regardless of race. A big part of why I have not dated many African-American women is because I don't like feeling abnormal. Minority groups can be terribly norm-enforcing in the US, and the idea of a relationship with someone who is constantly pointing out my failure to measure up on the Blair Underwood Soul Brother Blackness scale kind of sucks. I have noticed that non-US-born black people don't have nearly as many preconceived notions about what a person must do to qualify as "authentically black". I probably would have dated many more African-American women if I wasn't being upbraided about my lack of church attendance, godliness, soul, etc. It just gets old. The black women I have been involved with (one of whom was among my four great loves) were either counter-culture, biracial, etc, and as such weren't nearly as limiting in their notions of authenticity and it was liberating and refreshing.
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Lol @ Blair Underwood soul brother blackness.

Hey man you should at least go to church on easter. Lmao j/k

I haven't been to church since I was a teen. Welcome back.
 
Mrmike757 said:
This! I have a female cousin who lives down the street from me exactly like how you mentioned. She's so picky, because she in her 30s with a good career, yet she turns down guys left and right because she's not settling. However she won't do the work necessary to get what she wants. We hang out but I think sometimes she expects me to kick it with her a lot because she doesn't have a man.
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She’s got to be careful because women go from great catch to too old in a matter of a few years. It’s not fair but what do you do. So she shouldn’t waste her best chance.
 
Beasty said:
You making fun of me? Lol.
Na, wouldn’t call it making fun of you...just joking.
Lol. I don't really get the book club thing, that's truly for nerds. I only read for knowledge or world events. The last book I read for entertainment was one by Bernie Mack about 9 years ago lol. The last three books I read outside of school was about astronomy. A few months back.
I like guys who read but not with a Steve Urkel vibe. It’s not a knockout criterion so long as he as something in his head.
Lmao
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Beasty said:
Lol @ Blair Underwood soul brother blackness.

Hey man you should at least go to church on easter. Lmao j/k

I haven't been to church since I was a teen. Welcome back.
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Yeah for real you all should be going to church. You are deceiving the ww who think lemme catch a bm for more spiritual depth and then she gets all atheism like godless white people. Lol.
 
Madeleine said:
Yeah for real you all should be going to church. You are deceiving the ww who think lemme catch a bm for more spiritual depth and then she gets all atheism like godless white people. Lol.
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\
If they pursue me hoping for a spiritual/religious man... They'll probably be disappointed:-)
 
Madeleine said:
Yeah for real you all should be going to church. You are deceiving the ww who think lemme catch a bm for more spiritual depth and then she gets all atheism like godless white people. Lol.
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Lol the flip side.

I would actually be willing to go occasionally for the right woman. I do believe there is or was a grand architect that created the universe through scientific laws. I just don't believe he breaks those laws, nor do I believe in or follow religion.

If she can accept that we're good.

Btw people can be spiritually deep without being religious.
 
Madeleine said:
Joking.
If they didn’t meet you in church they can’t reasonably be making assumptions.
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I'm always amazed with the church goers looking elsewhere for mates. I have a friend who just met one from an online dating site. I said - if she's so into going to church and has that as a requirement, why isn't she meeting them at church?
 
K said:
I'm always amazed with the church goers looking elsewhere for mates. I have a friend who just met one from an online dating site. I said - if she's so into going to church and has that as a requirement, why isn't she meeting them at church?
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Absolutely.
Except if it’s a Christian online dating site.
 
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