I still laugh every time I read it. The humor is a nice change from the less than amusing stuff that seems so prevalent on here lately. Thanks again Arwen!
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- Thread starter suprchic73
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I still laugh every time I read it. The humor is a nice change from the less than amusing stuff that seems so prevalent on here lately. Thanks again Arwen!
I agree with this, in fact asking people here, rather than people who actually know you both shows really good judgment on your part, and illustrates how much you care IMO. I also wouldn't be upset with you for what you said if I were in her shoes. If you read that entire post, you started it with how much you care for her, and how you'd never do anything to hurt her feelings, which is why you weren't sure if you should bring it up at all. Were I her that's what I'd take away from that post, not the fact that you think she's overweight, which she's probably already aware of herself, but the fact that you care for her. You weren't ugly about it, you didn't say anything disrespectful about it at all, you simply stated your opinion based upon what you see. I really don't see anything wrong with that.
Whomever pointed it out to her though is apparently intent on making trouble for you. That would have been one of my first thoughts if I were in her shoes... 'Why are you telling me this? There has to be a motive behind it, and it's likely not a good one.' If you find out who it is, I hope you give them hell and cut them loose from your life. With friends like that, you don't need enemies.
I would also hope that someone who professes to love you wouldn't be so easily dissuaded or scared off. I hope she can be more objective about the whole situation once she's calmed down.
Aww Robina, so sorry to hear your Little Miss is under the weather again. Will send positive thoughts that she gets the best of care, mends quickly, and that the hospital is flooded with distractions for you in the meantime.
Arwen
New Member
wtarshi
Well-Known Member
that's horrible on two points robi...!!! i hope your little girl is okay & i hope that you finally get a hot paramedic....!!!
whikle
Well-Known Member
I would say it's probably less about her being pissed at him for discussing her online and more about the fact that he's claimed he's not so attracted to her body. We all want to feel that our partner is attracted to all of us and not just putting up with us because we make them laugh or feel comfortable ... And I know you've been entirely sweet about her, Drae, and I know you really like her, but you do want her to physically change, and I understand how that would he a mental barrier she couldn't overcome. Even if she lost 40 pounds now she'd always feel insecure with you, wondering if you're still critiquing her body every time she gets naked. I might be wrong, but that's how I'd feel. If it were me, I don't think I could bounce back from that.
Really Whiks? See this is why getting multiple POVs is useful because I just would never have guessed that. If I was overweight and my man brought it up I wouldn't see the point in penalizing him for speaking the truth, nor would it bother me if he said it affected his sexual attraction to me. Far as I'm concerned if I'm overweight, that's all legitimate conversation. Not to mention I don't believe he ever said he didn't find it attractive on her, just that he was surprised to learn she was more overweight than he'd thought, and that it concerned him.
Honestly I think it's better this came up now for Andrae as it is something that's important to him and IMO she should be aware of that. Knowing how important physical appearance is to him would influence my choices were I to consider getting involved with him. So I think that's info she should have. Just my opinion.
Bookworm616
Well-Known Member
I tend to agree with Whikle.
If I was with a man who was concerned about my weight and I lost weight strictly for him, it would constantly be in the back of my mind about gaining any weight and if it was going to cause problems.
And for certain people, that could totally backfire and they could go the opposite route and become anorexic because they fear the repercussions of gaining any weight.
It puts a huge burden on the person who has to lose the weight and what is deemed "acceptable" weight in the eyes of their partner.
To me, you either love me for who I am, and if I decide to change, then you can support me, but it really needs to be MY decision to do it.
wtarshi
Well-Known Member
THIS
Bliss
Well-Known Member
Great post.
My ex BF wanted me to lose some weight, and it didn't stop me from being with him, nor him from being with me. But that's because we had time and love vested, so I do get where Whiks is coming from IF it's a new guy. It's easier to bounce then.
But if my love told me I would look more amazing if I lost a few, I'd take it as a motivation if it comes from a place of love. I think Andrae's does too, but he's just a tad too nit-picky with his dissection of the specific weight amount he desires her to drop. If he said 'I want you to be @ your best potential, you are so beautiful to me, imagine you at your perfect body shape", which is kind of what my ex would say, then I think she would feel much better and respond to him.
I don't think she truly wants to give up what they have going do far, as he clearly expressed he didn't, so if he was willing to help her along 100% AND if she had any issues about him that he was willing to accommodate for her, then I think they can work it out. Our bodies are adaptable, so its not like he's asking her to do something that if she felt the same (that she wanted to lose a few), is impossible to achieve.
I agree with this Bookie. I think the issue is Andrae wasn't fully aware what size she was until recently, therefore he couldn't make such an informed decision. Now I know in the best of worlds, it wouldn't matter at this point if he loves her, and it honestly may not, but sexual attraction is a big part of a good relationship and if size impacts that negatively for him, then it's going to have to be addressed. We all know his opinion on that, so I suspect if the relationship is to have a good chance at longevity, then that's going to have to change. It's completely up to her to make that decision mind you, but I think it needs to be discussed.
Arwen
New Member
I used lemon juice and honey on my hair but It didn't work too much.
I'm kind of getting in natural and home made stuff, it's pretty fun. I learnt to make a shampoo without shampoo, just with some flour and other things. Let me know if you wanna try! We should make a thread about this, what do you think?
I already knew coffee grounds are good as peeler, I guess the lemon helps for the skin tone and color and the honey is for softness. I'll try that! Thanks
justanotherbrothalover
New Member
Arwen
New Member
Thank you girls! I missed your posts earlier. Bookie, I tagged you on Facebook with that a couple of days ago.
I found that there are others... just too funny, and so little people who can understand them
Bookworm616
Well-Known Member
Love those Arwen!
I saw that tag and tried to go into it, but it wouldn't let me. I'm going to try again. Sometimes my internet connection doesn't like me.
I saw that tag and tried to go into it, but it wouldn't let me. I'm going to try again. Sometimes my internet connection doesn't like me.
Thank you girls! I missed your posts earlier. Bookie, I tagged you on Facebook with that a couple of days ago.
I found that there are others... just too funny, and so little people who can understand them.
:smt043:smt043:smt043
Love it Arwen!