Last Names and Marriage
- Thread starter archangel
- Start date
whikle
Well-Known Member
Depends what his last name is
I have no really affinity with my last name, it's only been in my family for two generations and it doesn't really suit me anyway. I see no need to keep it. And I think there's something special about taking the name of the man you love. Unity
Bookworm616
Well-Known Member
I HATE my maiden name, and for those of you on my Facebook, you know what it is. I couldn't run away from that name fast enough. LOL.
So, when I got married both times, I took my husband's last name.
I have no idea what I'm going to do here on out though, if I happen to get married again. I'm on imdb.com with my current last name, and any scripts I will be sending out have my current last name, AND my daughter's last name is my current last name.
I doubt I'll be getting married again anytime soon, so I have time to figure it out all out. LOL.
andreboba
Well-Known Member
Unless a woman is in a career where she's defined by her last name, news anchor or actor, IMO not taking your husband's last name is an insult. I know it's just a time honored tradition and shouldn't be a big deal, but it is what it is.
A man may not say it, but he's thinking about why my wife is different from 95% of married women across the country.
It doesn't mean a woman is any less of herself, or is 'owned' by her man, but it's nice when the children and the mother and the father all have the same last name.
A man may not say it, but he's thinking about why my wife is different from 95% of married women across the country.
It doesn't mean a woman is any less of herself, or is 'owned' by her man, but it's nice when the children and the mother and the father all have the same last name.
Bookworm616
Well-Known Member
I had a friend who did that. She put her last name as her middle name when she got married.
SmoothDaddy101
Well-Known Member
Arwen
New Member
I had no idea you guys could chose what name to get. They told me you just get your husband's name and you can't change it even if you divorce unless you do a special request. Probably they told me bullshit 
Here when you get married you can't change your last name with your husband's one. If you want to change your last name for a particular reason you have to go to the courtyard and make a request to a judge.
Even if I loved my man and even if I really really hate my last name, I wouldn't want to get another person's name.
It's still me and I don't want people to know me as "somebody's wife". I'm me, first, second, I'm somebody's wife. Getting my man's name would be like telling the whole world that my "wife" status is more important than my "woman" status.
Here when you get married you can't change your last name with your husband's one. If you want to change your last name for a particular reason you have to go to the courtyard and make a request to a judge.
Even if I loved my man and even if I really really hate my last name, I wouldn't want to get another person's name.
It's still me and I don't want people to know me as "somebody's wife". I'm me, first, second, I'm somebody's wife. Getting my man's name would be like telling the whole world that my "wife" status is more important than my "woman" status.
wtarshi
Well-Known Member
I did eventually change my name to my ex-husbands, but that was only after the immigration department over here gave me a hard time & questioned why i kept my maiden name & didn't change it to his when we married. I think the taking of the man's surname is very old fashioned and outdated...something of an ownership...i questioned my ex why it was so important that i take his surname, something he could never answer. i thought if we both had to share a surname, then why couldn't he change his to mine seeing i have an extremely close relationship to my father and he hated his...he laughed that off very quickly.
i love my name, what it means and who it ties me to, so no i would not change my name if i got married again (also the rubbish i went through to change back to my maiden name...especially getting my passport is a huge turn off)
i love my name, what it means and who it ties me to, so no i would not change my name if i got married again (also the rubbish i went through to change back to my maiden name...especially getting my passport is a huge turn off)
archangel
Well-Known Member
I would have answered as easily as it looks better that we have the same last name. Makes us look like a family!
Bookworm616
Well-Known Member
I had no idea you guys could chose what name to get. They told me you just get your husband's name and you can't change it even if you divorce unless you do a special request. Probably they told me bullshit
Here when you get married you can't change your last name with your husband's one. If you want to change your last name for a particular reason you have to go to the courtyard and make a request to a judge.
Even if I loved my man and even if I really really hate my last name, I wouldn't want to get another person's name.
It's still me and I don't want people to know me as "somebody's wife". I'm me, first, second, I'm somebody's wife. Getting my man's name would be like telling the whole world that my "wife" status is more important than my "woman" status.
You have to put it in your divorce papers if you want the ability to change your name back after the divorce. :smt023
archangel
Well-Known Member
there may be different rules for italy. Remember the catholic church is in full affect over there!
Bookworm616
Well-Known Member
That's not even a religious thing, that's a legal thing.
But, I can't imagine it would be THAT different in Italy, however, I was just giving an example of how one can change their last name back after a divorce in the States. :smt023
Wow. That's interesting. How gross can your maiden name be?
Pretty gross!!
wtarshi
Well-Known Member
wtarshi
Well-Known Member
andreboba
Well-Known Member
Just when you think they get it, you discover that women REALLY don't understand men at all.
If a woman wants to keep her maiden name and still get married, do your man a favor and STAY SINGLE.
Shit like this is why it burns me up when a female says something crazy to a dude, like, 'grow some BALLs
', or 'act like a MAN!!
'
Problem is too many females won't give a dude the personal space to BE the MAN.
For the most part I feel I'm open-minded and don't have any problem with women in positions of authority, and I would view my 'significant other' as my co-captain, not my subordinate.
But certain traditions, what little few we have left in Western society, play heavy on a dude's ego and sense of self worth, as a MAN.
Giving a ring to his woman and having her bear his children, then to be told, ' naw baby, I wanna keep my family name. Cool?
'
A dude doesn't need much from his woman; someone who's there for him and emotionally present, won't talk all the time just to hear the sound of her own voice, isn't hyper-critical like he's her other child, will give up the pussy and practice her head game a couple times a week
, learn to cook a few meals, smell good, and a little RESPECT!!:smt085
Taking your man's name in marriage really for the majority of dudes is about nothing more than tradition and being seen as a man by other MEN.
Figure it out.
If a woman wants to keep her maiden name and still get married, do your man a favor and STAY SINGLE.
Shit like this is why it burns me up when a female says something crazy to a dude, like, 'grow some BALLs
', or 'act like a MAN!!'Problem is too many females won't give a dude the personal space to BE the MAN.
For the most part I feel I'm open-minded and don't have any problem with women in positions of authority, and I would view my 'significant other' as my co-captain, not my subordinate.
But certain traditions, what little few we have left in Western society, play heavy on a dude's ego and sense of self worth, as a MAN.
Giving a ring to his woman and having her bear his children, then to be told, ' naw baby, I wanna keep my family name. Cool?
'A dude doesn't need much from his woman; someone who's there for him and emotionally present, won't talk all the time just to hear the sound of her own voice, isn't hyper-critical like he's her other child, will give up the pussy and practice her head game a couple times a week
, learn to cook a few meals, smell good, and a little RESPECT!!:smt085Taking your man's name in marriage really for the majority of dudes is about nothing more than tradition and being seen as a man by other MEN.
Figure it out.
wtarshi
Well-Known Member
Just when you think they get it, you discover that women REALLY don't understand men at all.
If a woman wants to keep her maiden name and still get married, do your man a favor and STAY SINGLE.
Shit like this is why it burns me up when a female says something crazy to a dude, like, 'grow some BALLs
Problem is too many females won't give a dude the personal space to BE the MAN.
For the most part I feel I'm open-minded and don't have any problem with women in positions of authority, and I would view my 'significant other' as my co-captain, not my subordinate.
But certain traditions, what little few we have left in Western society, play heavy on a dude's ego and sense of self worth, as a MAN.
Giving a ring to his woman and having her bear his children, then to be told, ' naw baby, I wanna keep my family name. Cool?
A dude doesn't need much from his woman; someone who's there for him and emotionally present, won't talk all the time just to hear the sound of her own voice, isn't hyper-critical like he's her other child, will give up the pussy and practice her head game a couple times a week
Taking your man's name in marriage really for the majority of dudes is about nothing more than tradition and being seen as a man by other MEN.
Figure it out.
see...i would do all of the above, but why must it be the woman who gives up her identity...??? why can't you give up your surname...??? hasn't my father given enough to be present enough to represent us, him, my children, my future children..??? why should it be me that leaves a bit of me behind and forges forward...shouldn't my partner be in it with me...??? why can't my partner take my name..???? what's so wrong with that...??? men who stand their ground so hard on this make me scratch my head. why do we have such double standards...??? be a man...man up and change your name...i mean after all, it's just a name right....it's nothing to do with you or the person you are or your history....so you can take on someone else's name and just leave you behind right...???!!!!
OF COURSE NOT...!!! MEN WOULD NEVER LEAVE THEIR NAME BEHIND BECAUSE IT IS A PART OF THEM AND A PART OF THEIR HISTORY AND WHY THEY ARE WHO THEY ARE....SO WHY CAN'T THAT BE WITH WOMEN...??? AREN'T WE BORN WITH A NAME..??? ISN'T THAT WHAT WE GO BY ALL OUR LIFE UNTIL WE MEET SOMEONE AND THEN WE ARE TOLD THAT WE CAN'T BE US ANY MORE.....SHOE ON THE OTHER FOOT....????
andreboba
Well-Known Member
And so can I assume your father took your mother's name, Tarshi?
Yeah it's a silly and stupid tradition, just like weddings, white dresses and honeymoons, exchanging rings and wedding vows.
But we all endure and put up with it because.....it's tradition.
A woman is entitled to take any stance she wants about changing her name, just be clear that if a female treats it like it should be coin-flip, most guys will be offended.
Yeah it's a silly and stupid tradition, just like weddings, white dresses and honeymoons, exchanging rings and wedding vows.
But we all endure and put up with it because.....it's tradition.
A woman is entitled to take any stance she wants about changing her name, just be clear that if a female treats it like it should be coin-flip, most guys will be offended.
Sir Nose
New Member
Exactly, and the ring on his finger indicates that he has dedicated himself to one woman...his wife. I'm surprised to hear this about Italy because most US traditions come from Europe. So what last name do the children of a marriage use in Italy? Or do they have about eight names?
Oh, and Tarsi, to answer your question, in a traditional marriage in western culture, the husband is the head of the family. One reason there is a breakdown of the family in society is that the role of the father as head of household has been diminished.
archangel
Well-Known Member
which means that you wouldn't mind changing your surname to hers then, right...???
First of all, this would be the third name change! Why do I have to keep track of three names instead of two and she keeps track of one. Secondly, my name is shorter so I would mind. I have yet to meet a woman without a longer name than me. It is also easier for the children to remember!
Last edited: