What is the Worst Racial Experience You Have Had as a Black Man?

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The Dark King said:
Then I guess you're living in a good little bubble because every bm I know who has diction and articulation with an education who dates any woman who isn't black or hispanic sounds/acts white.
Having any interests outside of hip hop or jordans is another reason for people to accuse you of that. Up until very recently being black was considered a monolithic experience homie.
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well I have no clue what kinda black people you're around, but still, it sounds strange that you're running into that so often. I mean, it's even hard to imagine how a conversation like that goes.

"You got a college education? Dude, stop acting white!"

"Really, you're interested in science? You're so white!"

"Really? You have a college degree and a good job? Nigga, you act so white!"

Doesn't sound right to me. On the other hand, people imagining what others think of them -- seeing themselves through others eyes -- happens all the time.

Still, like I said, I'm not about to deny others' experiences. I don't live in a "little bubble" and I've never heard stuff like that firsthand, but I guess that doesn't mean it doesn't happen

Let me add that if these are your worst racial experiences, maybe it's you who live in a "little bubble", 'cause that is very light stuff.
 
medullaslashin said:
well I have no clue what kinda black people you're around, but still, it sounds strange that you're running into that so often. I mean, it's even hard to imagine how a conversation like that goes.

"You got a college education? Dude, stop acting white!"

"Really, you're interested in science? You're so white!"

"Really? You have a college degree and a good job? Nigga, you act so white!"

Doesn't sound right to me. On the other hand, people imagining what others think of them -- seeing themselves through others eyes -- happens all the time.

Still, like I said, I'm not about to deny others' experiences. I don't live in a "little bubble" and I've never heard stuff like that firsthand, but I guess that doesn't mean it doesn't happen

Let me add that if these are your worst racial experiences, maybe it's you who live in a "little bubble", 'cause that is very light stuff.
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Who said it was my worst?
 
Apollonia said:
I don't know about explicitly being told that bw are ugly but it is the message when "our" beauty is often not recognized or acknowledged by the society in general. (I could elaborate....but I won't)
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Eh, that's neither here nor there. Not having people tell you you're beautiful is a lot different than being told you're ugly all your life. That woman had heard people say that black women are told that all their lives, so to her it became a reality (until she was forced to actually think about it)

Walk a while in a black man's shoes for a while, during times when people go out of their way and team up to make you, the perfect stranger, feel unwelcome and hated, and you'll realize that having your "beauty" not recognized or acknowledged is exactly nothing to complain about

Nobody's entitled to be told they're beautiful. However, respect is the minimum, as the song goes
 
medullaslashin said:
The thread is "what is the worst".. You didn't say it was your worst but others recounted that experience in this thread, so I presume it's their worst
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I was just acknowledging what someone else stated since I could relate. My worst experiences are a little less tame
 
Apollonia said:
I don't know about explicitly being told that bw are ugly but it is the message when "our" beauty is often not recognized or acknowledged by the society in general. (I could elaborate....but I won't)

Black Americans who speak SAE (Standard American English) being told that we "act White" or "speak White" is a fairly common occurrence and is generally a SES/class issue when it comes from other blacks and particularly the ones who speak AAVE (African American Vernacular English).
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Which is a shame because just as I have come to greatly appreciate the beauty of black men, I've also come to appreciate the stunning beauty of many black women. My standard of beauty has changed dramatically over the last 5-7 years, partly because my environment has completely changed from what it was during the first half of my adult life, and also because I've learned to appreciate myself more, despite the fact that I don't fit the standard definition of what society considers beautiful. When you're so focused on what someone else dictates as beautiful and/or desirable, you miss beauty everywhere else.
 
pettyofficerj said:
That was weak

Stick to filming yourself doing pull ups he-man
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Don't clown me because I wasn't doing sets in the yard at ten like you.
Real talk my sister had to transfer out of Drexel because the violence out by you is insane. Old lady got murdered in the apt right above her
 
medullaslashin said:
Eh, that's neither here nor there. Not having people tell you you're beautiful is a lot different than being told you're ugly all your life. That woman had heard people say that black women are told that all their lives, so to her it became a reality (until she was forced to actually think about it)

Walk a while in a black man's shoes for a while, during times when people go out of their way and team up to make you, the perfect stranger, feel unwelcome and hated, and you'll realize that having your "beauty" not recognized or acknowledged is exactly nothing to complain about

Nobody's entitled to be told they're beautiful. However, respect is the minimum, as the song goes
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I'm not certain that you understand that we are both actually saying the same thing overall. Its only the nuisances that manifest differently depending upon whether one is male or female.

However, I will state that for some people a woman's worth/value is solely tied to her beauty. And when the elements of what society, in general, considers beautiful don't include one's personal attributes then there is a message being received that one is the opposite of beauty...ugly or less attractive. This is the basis for the colorism that exists in among many Black Americans and other non-Whites in the US.
 
Ches said:
Which is a shame because just as I have come to greatly appreciate the beauty of black men, I've also come to appreciate the stunning beauty of many black women. My standard of beauty has changed dramatically over the last 5-7 years, partly because my environment has completely changed from what it was during the first half of my adult life, and also because I've learned to appreciate myself more, despite the fact that I don't fit the standard definition of what society considers beautiful. When you're so focused on what someone else dictates as beautiful and/or desirable, you miss beauty everywhere else.
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So very true.
 
Apollonia said:
I'm not certain that you understand that we are both actually saying the same thing overall. Its only the nuisances that manifest differently depending upon whether one is male or female.

However, I will state that for some people a woman's worth/value is solely tied to her beauty. And when the elements of what society, in general, considers beautiful don't include one's personal attributes then there is a message being received that one is the opposite of beauty...ugly or less attractive. This is the basis for the colorism that exists in among many Black Americans and other non-Whites in the US.
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Naaah. We're not saying the same thing.

If I read you correct, you're equating not being the standard of beauty to society saying you're ugly. You're equating society not sharing your beauty standard (ie. not "acknowledging your beauty") as society saying you're ugly

I don't care about anyone's standard of beauty. But I deserve basic respect like everyone else, instead of the constant snow of spite and indignities. That's the "walk in the bm's shoes" part of my post. Compared to our experiences, being left out of society's beauty standard is completely benign
 
medullaslashin said:
Naaah. We're not saying the same thing.

If I read you correct, you're equating not being the standard of beauty to society saying you're ugly. You're equating society not sharing your beauty standard (ie. not "acknowledging your beauty") as society saying you're ugly

I don't care about anyone's standard of beauty. But I deserve basic respect like everyone else, instead of the constant snow of spite and indignities. That's the "walk in the bm's shoes" part of my post. Compared to our experiences, being left out of society's beauty standard is completely benign
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But lack of beauty leads to being treated badly. Why do you think the news only reports about pretty girls getting kidnapped. Beauty also means access and being treated like a person. Its benign to you because you don't have to go through it.
 
The Dark King said:
But lack of beauty leads to being treated badly. Why do you think the news only reports about pretty girls getting kidnapped. Beauty also means access and being treated like a person. Its benign to you because you don't have to go through it.
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No, lack of beauty doesn't lead to being treated badly. Beauty brings advantages but lack of beauty doesn't lead to being treated badly. Most people lack beauty in fact

Plus that's immaterial, since there are always going to be some individuals more beautiful than others. Nothing anyone can do about that.

My point is you can't compare being outside of the standards of beauty with being targeted for spite and indignities like bm are. It's just not the same. Those are two completely different issues and the latter has so much more insidious impact than the former that the former seems benign by comparison

On top of that, being outside the standard of beauty does not equal "lack of beauty". Lack of beauty is lack of beauty. You can't say society is overlooking you for being outside the standard if you're just ugly. And you sure can't say they're picking on you, like bm get targeted

Fact is no group of ppl is beautiful. Individuals are. Whatever the standards. Lots of ppl think venus and serena are attractive. Are they within the standard? Lots of ppl think asians are attractive. Are they within the standard? Lots of ppl think tyson beckford is attractive. Is he within the standard? Standards schmandards. Either you're attractive or you're not and you can't blame society if you're not.

If venus and serena wanna hate their look and get fade cream, or just give up and get fat and sloppy and vengeful because they're outside the standard, that's on them. If a pretty asian girl wants eyelid surgery 'cause she wants to look whiter, that's on her. Don't blame society, blame them for being stupid enough to internalize idiotic media images

It's a totally different issue than what bm experience, period.
 
medullaslashin said:
Naaah. We're not saying the same thing.

If I read you correct, you're equating not being the standard of beauty to society saying you're ugly. You're equating society not sharing your beauty standard (ie. not "acknowledging your beauty") as society saying you're ugly

I don't care about anyone's standard of beauty. But I deserve basic respect like everyone else, instead of the constant snow of spite and indignities. That's the "walk in the bm's shoes" part of my post. Compared to our experiences, being left out of society's beauty standard is completely benign
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The value of men and women (no matter their race/ethnicity) are judged differently, however, it is two sides of the same coin. Men are judged by their ability to earn (money = power). Women are judged by our physical beauty.

Black men are judged harshly if they are not capable of being impressive earners, no matter the reason, as compared to the standard bearer of American society; bm are disrespected because lack of earnings equals lack of power.

And Black women are judged equally as harshly as compared to the generally accepted American standard of beauty; the farther away a bw is from that standard the less she is respected/regarded in society. The indignities suffered by both bm and bw tend to stem from these roots.
 
Apollonia said:
The value of men and women (no matter their race/ethnicity) are judged differently, however, it is two sides of the same coin. Men are judged by their ability to earn (money = power). Women are judged by our physical beauty.

Black men are judged harshly if they are not capable of being impressive earners, no matter the reason, as compared to the standard bearer of American society; bm are disrespected because lack of earnings equals lack of power.

And Black women are judged equally as harshly as compared to the generally accepted American standard of beauty; the farther away a bw is from that standard the less she is respected/regarded in society. The indignities suffered by both bm and bw tend to stem from these roots.
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nooo. That argument is so divorced from reality that I'm not even going to argue with it. You're obviously not well acquainted with what bm experience. Not your fault I guess, bm don't much talk about stuff like that

But anyway, no, that analysis is just too far off base to waste time debating it
 
Black Male Dancer said:
I can relate to that. I was hired sight unseen by my boss and she just knew I was gonna be a white guy. When I walked in everyone was shocked that I was black. I'm a journalist and I guess they figured a brother couldn't write intelligently. (My boss is black, btw).

I could write a book about some of the racial crap I've been through. We actually live on a street full of white supremacists and are in the process of moving away. Initially I didn't wanna move because I didn't want anyone to run me out of my home, but after so long it wears on your spirit, especially dealing with it in your own home.

Sometimes I'm scared to step outside the front door, and we have one set of neighbors who play racist Johnny Rebel songs so loud that I hear it in my house. We got the police involved several times and it's useless. They apparently think "racism doesn't exist" and I'm just "another paranoid black man." Man it's a long story. This is the edited, made for TV version. So much has happened and we've only lived in this house since September.

Also, it took 7 years for my wife's parents to finally accept me. But by the time they did, I didn't care anymore. lol. When they met me and my family for the first time, they said that we were nothing like they expected. Of course not! You can't believe what they show you on BET.
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Your wife from west knoxville? We all have dealt with foul shit, work downtown Knoxville we have a homeless problem sometimes got to step over them walking in the bldg, just recently after I parked to walk in I suddenly got 2 cops in my face I'm like I don't know who you are looking for or who you think I am but I work here ( pointing at the bldg) kept on walking went to work
 
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