Quick question for black guys.

Adolescent09 said:
Howdy folks, I'm a black male who pretty much loves all races of women so I'm not sure if this question is pertinent to the members of this forum but I was simply curious...

I understand that many black men prefer to be with white women and that is perfectly cool but I was just thinking.... My sociology professor recently told me that there are more black women in college than black men (at my specific school there are almost twice as many bw as bm) and they tend to have much higher GPA's, are much more likely to finish their education, to be more independent, wealthy and educated, yet they find it very difficult to find/attract black men. I've run into a lot of black men who complain that there aren't enough successful/sophisticated black women around but if you look at virtually ANY college campus, university campus, or p.h.D program in the country you would realize that that is basically hog shit. They are literally crawling out of bookstores, libraries and campuses, so my two questions are as follows:

(1) Do black men sometimes try to cover up their aversion for women of their own race because they are embarrassed/shy to admit they prefer white women or other light-skinned women?

(2) Are black men willing to settle down with a gorgeous bw who is educated and well-off without having to deal with the societal hastle of coping with and IR relationship. Or are they more willing to settle down with a gorgeous ww who is educated and well-off, while having to deal with a litany of racial insults and abuse from white male counterparts?

I'm posting this because I'm interested in what people have to say, and because I need to come up with creative answers for my final exam :p
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The issue may be that some black men dont have the same things in common with the black women you mentioned. they may want sophistication and success but they still want traditional dating and marriage partners. they may just not get along with many of the BW, and so its not very easy to meet the sort of BW they want. It could be about attitude and both not sharing the same attitudes. I have found that black women are not easy to approach and though I have dated them, it wasnt as easy and natural for me as meeting a WW. I found BW harder to crack. harder to get at who she was deep down inside and that I tended to find alot of them who were very nice or happy.

that was my experience, not saying all black women are like that though.
 
goodlove said:
The one reason that alot of BM self hate/no self awareness is that they have been feminized. they have been raised by single parent homes dominated by bitter BW. so what BW do to these Bboys is tell em that their daddy aint shit and all BM men are dogs. in the meantime they are doing everything they can to run off the fathers from the kids. giving them all kinds of drama so they will not come back. Now these boys hear this shit and act like bafoons later on in life. sagging pants and what not. the Bgirls hear momma saying this shit and try to dominate the black men because they hear that BM aint shit. or I can do without a man. when they get old what happens ? then on top of that they dont know how to relate to a man. this kind of action by BW is nothing new. It was instituted heavily during slavery. they would beat and killed the BM in front of their wives and the women walk away thinking he can protect me so Im on my own. this kind of thinking by BW has been handed down to back stab BM.
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Pfft..I have been saying this shit for years. I posted
 
goodlove said:
you want to see stupid ass thinking see BW loyalist thread....especially this post

http://www.whitewomenblackmen.com/forum/showthread.php?t=17564&highlight=loyalist&page=2

post 15.
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I think you have to also realize goodlove some brothas have reached a point where they have said "fuck it" and checked out of dealing with with all the theatrics and drama of black women in their lives, who hold on to this notion that being belligerent is being strong.

Rather than stand around and argue with a woman and know I will become more heated I would rather just walk away from the argument to cool down and not go on with the drama.

Are so many brothas wrong when they voice their complaints about black women. Where did this come from, they didn't wake up one day and decided on these issues. There are legitimate questions that need to be asked.
 
goodlove said:
The one reason that alot of BM self hate/no self awareness is that they have been feminized. they have been raised by single parent homes dominated by bitter BW. so what BW do to these Bboys is tell em that their daddy aint shit and all BM men are dogs. in the meantime they are doing everything they can to run off the fathers from the kids. giving them all kinds of drama so they will not come back. Now these boys hear this shit and act like bafoons later on in life. sagging pants and what not.

The Bgirls hear momma saying this shit and try to dominate the black men because they hear that BM aint shit. or I can do without a man. when they get old what happens ? then on top of that they dont know how to relate to a man. this kind of action by BW is nothing new. It was instituted heavily during slavery. they would beat and killed the BM in front of their wives and the women walk away thinking he can protect me so Im on my own. this kind of thinking by BW has been handed down to back stab BM.
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This is exactly what some dudes aren't willing to put up with any longer, for years black women were ripping into black men. You would always see black women on television yapping about black men.

The black man ain't shit became a catch phrase, even in sketch comedies and no educated, respectable, refined black man is going to tolerate a woman belittling and talking rubbish about him.

Black men are now responding to years of what was said to and about them by these women.

Everything reaches a tipping point. The new thing is if a black man doesn't deal with black women he isn't strong enough, he is using white women, he just wants a pushover and white women will do anything, he is secretly DL and can't handle black women. Yeah that's it.

The reality is I'm seeing more and more black dykes than anything else just when I'm traveling around NYC. Some trying their darnedest to look like men on the exterior, while the other person with them is the woman I guess. :)

Ain't only the brothas on the DL, that's for sure. Black women need to quit the hypocrisy. Many of them are rampant lesbians as well so they aren't kidding anyone by labeling black men.

From my perspective I figure the best thing is to not even talk about black women and I'll just do me. I don't owe any explanations to anyone.

I like what I like and know what I like and that isn't changing. Many dudes have probably tried to reason with black women, but how can you talk to someone who doesn't want to listen. In their minds its never their fault, especially some of the young knucklehead women out there today who have values that are lacking.
 
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GQ Brotha said:
This is exactly what some dudes aren't willing to put up with any longer, for years black women were ripping into black men. You would always see black women on television yapping about black men.

The black man ain't shit became a catch phrase, even in sketch comedies and no educated, respectable, refined black man is going to tolerate a woman belittling and talking rubbish about him.

Black men are now responding to years of what was said to and about them by these women.

Everything reaches a tipping point. The new thing is if a black man doesn't deal with black women he isn't strong enough, he is using white women, he just wants a pushover and white women will do anything, he is secretly DL and can't handle black women. Yeah that's it.

The reality is I'm seeing more and more black dykes than anything else just when I'm traveling around NYC. Some trying their darnedest to look like men on the exterior, while the other person with them is the woman I guess. :)

Ain't only the brothas on the DL, that's for sure. Black women need to quit the hypocrisy. Many of them are rampant lesbians as well so they aren't kidding anyone by labeling black men.

From my perspective I figure the best thing is to not even talk about black women and I'll just do me. I don't owe any explanations to anyone.

I like what I like and know what I like and that isn't changing. Many dudes have probably tried to reason with black women, but how can you talk to someone who doesn't want to listen. In their minds its never their fault, especially some of the young knucklehead women out there today who have values that are lacking.
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:prayer: :prayer: :prayer: :prayer:
 
GQ Brotha said:
This is exactly what some dudes aren't willing to put up with any longer, for years black women were ripping into black men. You would always see black women on television yapping about black men.

The black man ain't shit became a catch phrase, even in sketch comedies and no educated, respectable, refined black man is going to tolerate a woman belittling and talking rubbish about him.

Black men are now responding to years of what was said to and about them by these women.

Everything reaches a tipping point. The new thing is if a black man doesn't deal with black women he isn't strong enough, he is using white women, he just wants a pushover and white women will do anything, he is secretly DL and can't handle black women. Yeah that's it.

The reality is I'm seeing more and more black dykes than anything else just when I'm traveling around NYC. Some trying their darnedest to look like men on the exterior, while the other person with them is the woman I guess. :)

Ain't only the brothas on the DL, that's for sure. Black women need to quit the hypocrisy. Many of them are rampant lesbians as well so they aren't kidding anyone by labeling black men.

From my perspective I figure the best thing is to not even talk about black women and I'll just do me. I don't owe any explanations to anyone.

I like what I like and know what I like and that isn't changing. Many dudes have probably tried to reason with black women, but how can you talk to someone who doesn't want to listen. In their minds its never their fault, especially some of the young knucklehead women out there today who have values that are lacking.
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rep is on it's way...it appears i've slapped it about too much already today...!!!! fantastic post :smt058
 
karmacoma. said:
:prayer: :prayer: :prayer: :prayer:
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Karma a lot of those black women are themselves on the down low but the usual mouthpieces have made it just a black man thing of being on the down low. They need to be called out on that blatant double standard.

Because saying black men are on the down low is akin to the "black men ain't shit" line. Notice how its always a one line catch phrase to put down black men.

I don't deal with black women so it doesn't impact me, but I know what I have seen here in NYC. Some shit would leave the head spinning.
 
GQ Brotha said:
This is exactly what some dudes aren't willing to put up with any longer, for years black women were ripping into black men. You would always see black women on television yapping about black men.

The black man ain't shit became a catch phrase, even in sketch comedies and no educated, respectable, refined black man is going to tolerate a woman belittling and talking rubbish about him.

Black men are now responding to years of what was said to and about them by these women.

Everything reaches a tipping point. The new thing is if a black man doesn't deal with black women he isn't strong enough, he is using white women, he just wants a pushover and white women will do anything, he is secretly DL and can't handle black women. Yeah that's it.

The reality is I'm seeing more and more black dykes than anything else just when I'm traveling around NYC. Some trying their darnedest to look like men on the exterior, while the other person with them is the woman I guess. :)

Ain't only the brothas on the DL, that's for sure. Black women need to quit the hypocrisy. Many of them are rampant lesbians as well so they aren't kidding anyone by labeling black men.

From my perspective I figure the best thing is to not even talk about black women and I'll just do me. I don't owe any explanations to anyone.

I like what I like and know what I like and that isn't changing. Many dudes have probably tried to reason with black women, but how can you talk to someone who doesn't want to listen. In their minds its never their fault, especially some of the young knucklehead women out there today who have values that are lacking.
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Doesn't this apply to all woman? Just saying.
 
GQ Brotha said:
This is exactly what some dudes aren't willing to put up with any longer, for years black women were ripping into black men. You would always see black women on television yapping about black men.

The black man ain't shit became a catch phrase, even in sketch comedies and no educated, respectable, refined black man is going to tolerate a woman belittling and talking rubbish about him.

Black men are now responding to years of what was said to and about them by these women.

Everything reaches a tipping point. The new thing is if a black man doesn't deal with black women he isn't strong enough, he is using white women, he just wants a pushover and white women will do anything, he is secretly DL and can't handle black women. Yeah that's it.

The reality is I'm seeing more and more black dykes than anything else just when I'm traveling around NYC. Some trying their darnedest to look like men on the exterior, while the other person with them is the woman I guess. :)

Ain't only the brothas on the DL, that's for sure. Black women need to quit the hypocrisy. Many of them are rampant lesbians as well so they aren't kidding anyone by labeling black men.

From my perspective I figure the best thing is to not even talk about black women and I'll just do me. I don't owe any explanations to anyone.

I like what I like and know what I like and that isn't changing. Many dudes have probably tried to reason with black women, but how can you talk to someone who doesn't want to listen. In their minds its never their fault, especially some of the young knucklehead women out there today who have values that are lacking.
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The reason WHY is because we (collectively) have fail on so many levels. How do we expect for them to support us, when we degrade them in our culture, down them in our music, leave them to head our homes and raise our children.

OF COURSE...this is going to create an atmosphere of what you described. If they are they way, it is because we created them...(for whatever reason)
 
MrFantastic said:
Doesn't this apply to all woman? Just saying.
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LOL, probably. :)

However white, Hispanic, Asian women aren't talking about their groups of men are on the DL to the media and saying those men aren't shit and heaven knows those cultures have had a long history of their men exercising control over women's rights and such.
 
Ymra said:
The reason WHY is because we (collectively) have fail on so many levels. How do we expect for them to support us, when we degrade them in our culture, down them in our music, leave them to head our homes and raise our children.

OF COURSE...this is going to create an atmosphere of what you described. If they are they way, it is because we created them...(for whatever reason)
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YMRA, what I gather is we are looking at one big, hot mess of poor values and social ills.

I'm big on personal responsibility and accountability. Black men didn't create this, the policies of the prior generations such as welfare programs, led to broken homes in the ghettos, a blistering anti-black male campaign by even educated black women who spewed the mantra of not needing a black man, because black men weren't shit.

Sounds like a self fulfilling prophecy to me. So is it said so shall it be done.

You don't need a black man, okay. Brothas said deuces. :)
 
GQ Brotha said:
LOL, probably. :)

However white, Hispanic, Asian women aren't talking about their groups of men are on the DL to the media and saying those men aren't shit and heaven knows those cultures have had a long history of their men exercising control over women's rights and such.
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I was talking to a friend about this last night(she normally dates ww) and through out the conversation the one thing that I definitely took away from the conversation is that bm and bw seriously need to find ways to heal each other because we can't go on like this. We down each other every chance we get and instead of recognizing we both have pain that no one else in this world is gonna understand except us. I'm not advocating staying with in your own race when seeking a mate because lord knows my heart just gravitates to ww and I don't want to be a hypocrite. I just think compassion on both sides would go such a long way. We as bm need to understand their pain comes from a real place and makes a lot of them lash out, a lot of these chicks as well as guys never had any example of what a relationship looked like within the home. You and I lucked out but to be honest I think a lot of it comes from our parents being from different countries where men leading the family was the standard not a commodity like it is in this country and that goes beyond race here.
But that's another thing to is that bw need to learn to follow and realize abrasive reactions don't equal strength it just exposes them for the scared and lonely women they truly are. Bm need to grow up and start leading their families enough of this arrested development bullshit. We don't have anymore time for people to figure out what we all already know.
At the end of the conversation me and my friend had a very healthy long hug because there is so much bullshit going on that we don't realize we're holding on to. It's real pain and shouldn't be ignored because of shit that happened in the past with other knuckleheads.
Just my two cents.
 
Ymra said:
The reason WHY is because we (collectively) have fail on so many levels. How do we expect for them to support us, when we degrade them in our culture, down them in our music, leave them to head our homes and raise our children.

OF COURSE...this is going to create an atmosphere of what you described. If they are they way, it is because we created them...(for whatever reason)
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This actually a fair assessment. So then what's the answer?
 
GQ Brotha said:
Karma a lot of those black women are themselves on the down low but the usual mouthpieces have made it just a black man thing of being on the down low. They need to be called out on that blatant double standard.

Because saying black men are on the down low is akin to the "black men ain't shit" line. Notice how its always a one line catch phrase to put down black men.

I don't deal with black women so it doesn't impact me, but I know what I have seen here in NYC. Some shit would leave the head spinning.
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All I will add is that BW's cultural leaders are a woman with no husband and no kids, but a "best friend," and a gay filmmaker whose claim to fame is dressing as his own grandmother.

And I'm out. LOL.
 
MrFantastic said:
I was talking to a friend about this last night(she normally dates ww) and through out the conversation the one thing that I definitely took away from the conversation is that bm and bw seriously need to find ways to heal each other because we can't go on like this. We down each other every chance we get and instead of recognizing we both have pain that no one else in this world is gonna understand except us. I'm not advocating staying with in your own race when seeking a mate because lord knows my heart just gravitates to ww and I don't want to be a hypocrite. I just think compassion on both sides would go such a long way. We as bm need to understand their pain comes from a real place and makes a lot of them lash out, a lot of these chicks as well as guys never had any example of what a relationship looked like within the home. You and I lucked out but to be honest I think a lot of it comes from our parents being from different countries where men leading the family was the standard not a commodity like it is in this country and that goes beyond race here.
But that's another thing to is that bw need to learn to follow and realize abrasive reactions don't equal strength it just exposes them for the scared and lonely women they truly are. Bm need to grow up and start leading their families enough of this arrested development bullshit. We don't have anymore time for people to figure out what we all already know.
At the end of the conversation me and my friend had a very healthy long hug because there is so much bullshit going on that we don't realize we're holding on to. It's real pain and shouldn't be ignored because of shit that happened in the past with other knuckleheads.
Just my two cents.
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I think there is merit to what you are saying, as you mentioned I wasn't born in America, so even though the majority of my life has been spent here I have a different background that influenced my ways of thinking. At least up until I was 12 and came to the U.S.

I actuallly grew up in a single parent household, but I knew right from wrong from the jump and never had to be told twice.

My mom raised me with certain values about what it is to be a respectful person in life.

In college I spoke to one black girl, that was the last time I made any attempt to. She was actually nice and not ghetto.

However my taste and interests evolved over time and I lost interest in dealing with young black women when I saw all the nonsense.

To be honest I don't know what the answer is and I really stopped caring. I don't do drama.
 
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