Question? Why do ww women like black men when they get older

The Dark Knight said:
I think more do than don't and I think more do than admit it publicly. Keep lying to yourself it appears its done wonders for your dating life. Let longnthick know I said good luck with you lol.
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Lol you soaked in the charm bath this morning then drank the water I see datty
 
chesbaygrl7 said:
It would behoove you to find out WHY a WW begins dating BM before discounting them.

And, for the record, I am an older, plus-size woman and, if anything, my "stock" has gone up. I am less selfish and superficial than I was when I was younger and I'm more open-minded, experienced and certain about what I want. My partner's happiness and what I can contribute to it is as important to me as my own. I look to give in a relationship rather than just get. Lessons learned through life experience. And while I may not be young and slim any more, I dress well, I'm trendy and keep myself nicely. I think I would be an asset rather than a liability, all things considered.

If you judge someone solely on outward appearance, you are missing the real value of a person.
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Well, like I said, I could be completely wrong.
 
I never wanted to date a WW older than me after I was rejected by one years back. In America some older WW go after the young and hip brothers.
 
Although i dont think its right to brush all older WW with one stroke, i kinda understand it when a WW with no history of dating black men suddenly begins to profess love for Black men in their 40s. I know 20-30 years ago things were a bit different but white women who liked black men still had black boyfriends and husbands. There are black men everywhere in America and i dont think lack of opportunity can be used as an excuse. I mean how can there be a lack opportunities to meet black men from for a WW aged 20 only for there to be one at age 40?
 
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APPIAH said:
Although i dont think its right to brush all older WW with one stroke, i kinda understand it when a WW with no history of dating black men suddenly begins to profess love for Black men in their 40s. I know 20-30 years ago things were a bit different but white women who liked black men still had black boyfriends and husbands. There are black men everywhere in America and i dont think lack of opportunity can be used as an excuse. I mean how can there be a lack opportunities to meet black men from for a WW aged 20 only for there to be one at age 40?
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I live in Amish cointry. I went to an all-white high school, a pre-dominantly white college (and I had a bf while I was there) and went to an all-white church, and I worked at a college where the staff was predominantly white. That takes me to age 24 when I met my husband. Then I was married for 10 years. Now I'm 35 and single with a son to raise. I did not meet any eligible men, black or white until I put myself online at the age of 48. I don't drink so I don't partake in the nightclub scene. Most of my friends were married and their friends were married, so no opps there. Lack of opportunity is a viable reason when you grow up in an environment that doesn't provicde them.

One of my friends who dates black men (she is black) has the same lament. Unless we go online, we do not meet single black guys, esp ones we would like to date. Meaning that they are reasonably intelligent, are gainfully employed, have a personality, sense of humor, etc.
 
chesbaygrl7 said:
I live in Amish cointry. I went to an all-white high school, a pre-dominantly white college (and I had a bf while I was there) and went to an all-white church, and I worked at a college where the staff was predominantly white. That takes me to age 24 when I met my husband. Then I was married for 10 years. Now I'm 35 and single with a son to raise. I did not meet any eligible men, black or white until I put myself online at the age of 48. I don't drink so I don't partake in the nightclub scene. Most of my friends were married and their friends were married, so no opps there. Lack of opportunity is a viable reason when you grow up in an environment that doesn't provicde them.

One of my friends who dates black men (she is black) has the same lament. Unless we go online, we do not meet single black guys, esp ones we would like to date. Meaning that they are reasonably intelligent, are gainfully employed, have a personality, sense of humor, etc.
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Let me ask you this, did you have an attraction for black guys when you were of college going age? You could have chosen to go to a more diverse college to enhance your chance to meet black guys. All people who go to the night club do not necessary drink alcohol so if there was an opportunity to meet black guys you missed that one too. You say after age 35 till 48 i.e. for 13 years you did not meet any eligible men black or white , damn is it that bad? Amish all white church i understand and maybe the predominantly white workplace, but your college choice could have opened opportunities for you if indeed you had a thing for black guys at a young age. So it might not necessarily be lack of opportunities but more of choices made by you or your parents.
 
APPIAH said:
Let me ask you this, did you have an attraction for black guys when you were of college going age? You could have chosen to go to a more diverse college to enhance your chance to meet black guys. All people who go to the night club do not necessary drink alcohol so if there was an opportunity to meet black guys you missed that one too. You say after age 35 till 48 i.e. for 13 years you did not meet any eligible men black or white , damn is it that bad? Amish all white church i understand and maybe the predominantly white workplace, but your college choice could have opened opportunities for you if indeed you had a thing for black guys at a young age. So it might not necessarily be lack of opportunities but more of choices made by you or your parents.
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That's hilarious appiah. I don't know how it works there but here your parents still pay for college and exercise control over you. Your only hope is when you get away to the college you can party and live as you wish as you live on your own finally. But getting there is usually influenced heavily by your parents. Hence most people party nonstop in college because it's the first they can live wild and crazy.

Most people choose their college based on their field of interest not on the dating choices. College is for learning. Don't know if you heard. Also going out of state from where you live makes you an "out of state" student and your tuition goes up considerably. :confused:

Quit contributing to TDK reaming of chesy becasue your/his arguments don't make sense.
 
JordanC said:
That's hilarious appiah. I don't know how it works there but here your parents still pay for college and exercise control over you. Your only hope is when you get away to the college you can party and live as you wish as you live on your own finally. But getting there is usually influenced heavily by your parents. Hence most people party nonstop in college because it's the first they can live wild and crazy.

Most people choose their college based on their field of interest not on the dating choices. College is for learning. Don't know if you heard. Also going out of state from where you live makes you an "out of state" student and your tuition goes up considerably. :confused:

Quit contributing to TDK reaming of chesy becasue your/his arguments don't make sense.
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Precisely - great common sense, Jordan.
 
JordanC said:
That's hilarious appiah. I don't know how it works there but here your parents still pay for college and exercise control over you. Your only hope is when you get away to the college you can party and live as you wish as you live on your own finally. But getting there is usually influenced heavily by your parents. Hence most people party nonstop in college because it's the first they can live wild and crazy.

Most people choose their college based on their field of interest not on the dating choices. College is for learning. Don't know if you heard. Also going out of state from where you live makes you an "out of state" student and your tuition goes up considerably. :confused:

Quit contributing to TDK reaming of chesy becasue your/his arguments don't make sense.
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First of all I wasn't reaming her secondly what I said does make sense. If a man told you that he all of sudden liked white women you'd be skeptical too especially if it happened with the frequency with which a lot of older white women do it. It raises a red flag. I'm not saying their motives are unjustified but hear me out on this. Its one thing to say you're open to dating bm after being in a box were you didn't have a choice otherwise. Its a totally different thing when someone says they all of sudden prefer bm years after they've already had kids with a wm. After their body is on the decline in comparison to their youth. You do see how it comes across don't you?
Its one thing if you were open to every kind of man and never had the opportunity but when you specifically seek out bm after your best dating years are behind you it does cause one to raise an eyebrow. It's kind of like the girls in college who wanted to "try me out". When all I wanted was ass it didn't matter but when you want to build a life with someone that speaks volumes.
 
The Dark Knight said:
First of all I wasn't reaming her secondly what I said does make sense. If a man told you that he all of sudden liked white women you'd be skeptical too especially if it happened with the frequency with which a lot of older white women do it. It raises a red flag. I'm not saying their motives are unjustified but hear me out on this. Its one thing to say you're open to dating bm after being in a box were you didn't have a choice otherwise. Its a totally different thing when someone says they all of sudden prefer bm years after they've already had kids with a wm. After their body is on the decline in comparison to their youth. You do see how it comes across don't you?
Its one thing if you were open to every kind of man and never had the opportunity but when you specifically seek out bm after your best dating years are behind you it does cause one to raise an eyebrow. It's kind of like the girls in college who wanted to "try me out". When all I wanted was ass it didn't matter but when you want to build a life with someone that speaks volumes.
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Take each lover as they come boyfriend. You got too many hangups to release yourself to true happiness.:smt083

Over analytical.
 
APPIAH said:
Let me ask you this, did you have an attraction for black guys when you were of college going age? You could have chosen to go to a more diverse college to enhance your chance to meet black guys. All people who go to the night club do not necessary drink alcohol so if there was an opportunity to meet black guys you missed that one too. You say after age 35 till 48 i.e. for 13 years you did not meet any eligible men black or white , damn is it that bad? Amish all white church i understand and maybe the predominantly white workplace, but your college choice could have opened opportunities for you if indeed you had a thing for black guys at a young age. So it might not necessarily be lack of opportunities but more of choices made by you or your parents.
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Jordan said almost exactly what I would have said. Thanks, Jordan!! (Tried to rep you but have to spread it around.)

The idea that I would choose a college based on who I could date or meet is pretty funny. Besides, I was already dating someone when I left for college. But to answer your question, Appiah, I would say that I didn't NOT find BM attractive. But I literally did not have opportunities to interact with BM to be able to say "Yes, I'm totally attracted to black men." It's like, if you live in an area where you don't get snow, and being asked if you like snow. Well, I've seen snow, even had a little fall here, but never really experienced a substantial snowfall - how can I say if I like snow? (Maybe that's a terrible analogy, but you get my point.)

There was, in fact, a black guy at college who I had met while still in high school through an old boyfriend. We re-connected at college and I knew that he was very interested in me and I was definitely attracted to him. But I was very much in love with my bf back home, so I didn't act on that attraction. But if I had, I would have had to sneak around - I was 18, still technically living at home, expenses paid by my parents as Jordan said, and I wouldn't have been able to go public with that relationship.

To both you and TDK, I can see how a woman my age "suddenly" taking an interest in BM looks suspect. By the same token, an older BM who dated/married BW all his life and who suddenly takes an interest in WW is suspect too. (I know, I dated one such individual for a year and half and he never could handle the fact that I was white.) But TDK, you seem to assume that all older women with kids are on the decline. That's simply not true. You also seem to be saying that by WW choosing BM when they're older/overweight, we are settling for "sloppy seconds" because we can't get hot white men, and on the flip side, you are saying that the BM who go for older/overweight women are also settling for "sloppy seconds" because they can't get hot white (or black) women. At least that's what it sounds like to me.

Why can't it be that as we've gotten older, times change, people change, tastes change, more opportunities exist to meet other people of any and all races? I didn't have the luxury of online dating when I was dating the first time around. Also, I think it depends on what a person is looking for when they go outside their race. I, personally, am looking for a relationship, not hookups, not FWB. I wasn't looking to experiment. Now, you might have a point if that's all I was looking for and I suddenly develop an interest in BM. You might conclude that my reasons for that choice are suspect and you would probably be right.

I was actually quite surprised when I put profile online and began getting hits from just as many BM as WM. I didn't even entertain the notion that a BM would be interested in dating me, a WW. At that point, I asked myself, why am I limiting myself to WM just because that's what I've always known?
 
chesbaygrl7 said:
Jordan said almost exactly what I would have said. Thanks, Jordan!! (Tried to rep you but have to spread it around.)

The idea that I would choose a college based on who I could date or meet is pretty funny. Besides, I was already dating someone when I left for college. But to answer your question, Appiah, I would say that I didn't NOT find BM attractive. But I literally did not have opportunities to interact with BM to be able to say "Yes, I'm totally attracted to black men." It's like, if you live in an area where you don't get snow, and being asked if you like snow. Well, I've seen snow, even had a little fall here, but never really experienced a substantial snowfall - how can I say if I like snow? (Maybe that's a terrible analogy, but you get my point.)

There was, in fact, a black guy at college who I had met while still in high school through an old boyfriend. We re-connected at college and I knew that he was very interested in me and I was definitely attracted to him. But I was very much in love with my bf back home, so I didn't act on that attraction. But if I had, I would have had to sneak around - I was 18, still technically living at home, expenses paid by my parents as Jordan said, and I wouldn't have been able to go public with that relationship.

To both you and TDK, I can see how a woman my age "suddenly" taking an interest in BM looks suspect. By the same token, an older BM who dated/married BW all his life and who suddenly takes an interest in WW is suspect too. (I know, I dated one such individual for a year and half and he never could handle the fact that I was white.) But TDK, you seem to assume that all older women with kids are on the decline. That's simply not true. You also seem to be saying that by WW choosing BM when they're older/overweight, we are settling for "sloppy seconds" because we can't get hot white men, and on the flip side, you are saying that the BM who go for older/overweight women are also settling for "sloppy seconds" because they can't get hot white (or black) women. At least that's what it sounds like to me.

Why can't it be that as we've gotten older, times change, people change, tastes change, more opportunities exist to meet other people of any and all races? I didn't have the luxury of online dating when I was dating the first time around. Also, I think it depends on what a person is looking for when they go outside their race. I, personally, am looking for a relationship, not hookups, not FWB. I wasn't looking to experiment. Now, you might have a point if that's all I was looking for and I suddenly develop an interest in BM. You might conclude that my reasons for that choice are suspect and you would probably be right.

I was actually quite surprised when I put profile online and began getting hits from just as many BM as WM. I didn't even entertain the notion that a BM would be interested in dating me, a WW. At that point, I asked myself, why am I limiting myself to WM just because that's what I've always known?
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Ok you made your point quite eloquently and i get it i hope you didnt think i was putting you the spot i was just reacting to your response. Now Jordan C seems to think i was saying you should choose a college based on dating choice which is rather laughable. Are we saying all white colleges can offer the courses that you desire? You mean no ethnically diverse could offer the course? People attend college to study yes but exposure to other cultures and races at an early age also opens your eyes to things that you might not necessarily have known. Thats all i was saying.
 
pettyofficerj said:
it's all about the social circles you run in

if you hang around white women with advanced degrees (say you're a doctor for instance), you'll increase the likelihood of dating and/or marrying one

it's that simple

why do you think people have been saying for years and years, that once we get some education we leave bw for ww?
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pettyofficerj said:
i find that suspect as well

definitely red flag

same as the ones who decide to go black, after divorcing a white guy
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Jase said:
Well like I said it doesn't apply to all white women or even most. BM I've seen who don't date or marry a WW until later in life (and this is purely an assumption on my part) I assume would have been willing to date them in their younger years. If they haven't already. Honestly I don't think younger Black men have as much of a problem dating white women. Nowhere near to the extent that younger White women do when it comes to Black men. Not even close. Which is all perfectly fine. It's not a competition. And people can be with who they want to be with for whatever reason. But I've never really heard of a BM who wouldn't date WW when he was younger but then out of the blue decides that he's into WW and it's okay to be seen with them.

And hell I could be completely wrong. But white women in their 40s and 50s who are suddenly down with BM after a blackless existence their entire lives are red flags to be avoided. I see too many WW who would not deal with BM when they were 8s, 9s, and 10s but when they drop to 4s, 5s, 6s, and 7s whether due to age, weight, altered socioeconomic status or whatever suddenly they're down with the brown. Hell one thing I have personally seen a lot of is overweight WW who go for BM only because they know many WM won't go for them. Many will outright admit it.

It's like BM are expected to be there to pick up the leftovers after WM, and many LM, have gotten their fill of the main course. Sorry but I just find it offensive.
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I dont find it suspect. I find it as a part of life. who said there were guidelines and time limits on dating outside your race. thats bullshit. when is it legit to say Im gonna start dating IR...15, 20, 30 but after 35 you have to stay within your race. Its in the IR guidelines page 217 paragraph 7. WTF

so you are you saying she marries a wm and after 15-20 years of marriage she cant date a BM ? why ? if a BM marries a BW and after divorce he cant date IR ? why?

if a ww married an am and divorces and then decides to date a Bm she cant because ...? why? so on and so forth.

so what she/he decides to date IR after 30 or 40 ? now what ? he/she has to stay in that race because YOU will feel comfortable?

you will not know if the person is dating you as a fetish or out of curiosity after you started talking to her/him. even then if it is curiosity you still need to know what are they curious about.
 
Its not about being open to bm its about exclusively dating them and only them after decades of not dating them at all. Sounds suspect.

goodlove said:
I dont find it suspect. I find it as a part of life. who said there were guidelines and time limits on dating outside your race. thats bullshit. when is it legit to say Im gonna start dating IR...15, 20, 30 but after 35 you have to stay within your race. Its in the IR guidelines page 217 paragraph 7. WTF

so you are you saying she marries a wm and after 15-20 years of marriage she cant date a BM ? why ? if a BM marries a BW and after divorce he cant date IR ? why?

if a ww married an am and divorces and then decides to date a Bm she cant because ...? why? so on and so forth.

so what she/he decides to date IR after 30 or 40 ? now what ? he/she has to stay in that race because YOU will feel comfortable?

you will not know if the person is dating you as a fetish or out of curiosity after you started talking to her/him. even then if it is curiosity you still need to know what are they curious about.
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Jase said:
I figure at that point they don't have as much to lose. Their parents are either dead or too old to really matter. Men aren't coming after them like they used to when they were a few decades younger. So after their looks and bodies have gone down, they've popped out a kid or two, gone through a divorce, and are basically at an age when they say "Well it's not going to get any better, might as well enjoy myself" ya they'll go after Black guys.

I'm not saying this applies to all white women or even most, but I've always been very put off by white women who had absolutely no interest in Black men when they were younger but after they get older and their stock has gone down, suddenly they don't mind slumming it with some brothers. It's like we weren't good enough for you in your prime; you didn't want anything to do with us but now it's okay for you to be seen with us?? Sorry but older WW who suddenly develop an attraction for BM in their later years, I'd stay away from.
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speak for yourself but dating me is not slumming. you may consider yourself trash but dont put me in that shit bro.

you best get your mind rite partner.

Jase said:
Well like I said it doesn't apply to all white women or even most. BM I've seen who don't date or marry a WW until later in life (and this is purely an assumption on my part) I assume would have been willing to date them in their younger years. If they haven't already. Honestly I don't think younger Black men have as much of a problem dating white women. Nowhere near to the extent that younger White women do when it comes to Black men. Not even close. Which is all perfectly fine. It's not a competition. And people can be with who they want to be with for whatever reason. But I've never really heard of a BM who wouldn't date WW when he was younger but then out of the blue decides that he's into WW and it's okay to be seen with them.

And hell I could be completely wrong. But white women in their 40s and 50s who are suddenly down with BM after a blackless existence their entire lives are red flags to be avoided. I see too many WW who would not deal with BM when they were 8s, 9s, and 10s but when they drop to 4s, 5s, 6s, and 7s whether due to age, weight, altered socioeconomic status or whatever suddenly they're down with the brown. Hell one thing I have personally seen a lot of is overweight WW who go for BM only because they know many WM won't go for them. Many will outright admit it.

It's like BM are expected to be there to pick up the leftovers after WM, and many LM, have gotten their fill of the main course. Sorry but I just find it offensive.
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I talked about this shit before and most of yall got mad when I said it...now you are stealing my statements. I said that WW have them most to lose especially a ww from a middle class family because she maybe a trust fund baby , living with parents, going to college off of parents dime and the parents maybe str8 up racist. you have no clue. so she has to play the game. she may legitimately fall in love with a WM (for shame for that happening) and get a divorce. maybe by then she is extremely independent and say fuck it ...its my life and start dating IR. if you are all concerned about the timing then dont date IR because you are the one with hang-ups.

APPIAH said:
Although i dont think its right to brush all older WW with one stroke, i kinda understand it when a WW with no history of dating black men suddenly begins to profess love for Black men in their 40s. I know 20-30 years ago things were a bit different but white women who liked black men still had black boyfriends and husbands. There are black men everywhere in America and i dont think lack of opportunity can be used as an excuse. I mean how can there be a lack opportunities to meet black men from for a WW aged 20 only for there to be one at age 40?
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I was with you up until that point. if she is married to a wm then she shouldnt be dating a BM ...right ? lack of opportunity ....right ? what should they be wearing a T-shirt saying I date bro's or where the bro's at?

APPIAH said:
Let me ask you this, did you have an attraction for black guys when you were of college going age? You could have chosen to go to a more diverse college to enhance your chance to meet black guys. All people who go to the night club do not necessary drink alcohol so if there was an opportunity to meet black guys you missed that one too. You say after age 35 till 48 i.e. for 13 years you did not meet any eligible men black or white , damn is it that bad? Amish all white church i understand and maybe the predominantly white workplace, but your college choice could have opened opportunities for you if indeed you had a thing for black guys at a young age. So it might not necessarily be lack of opportunities but more of choices made by you or your parents.
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JordanC said:
That's hilarious appiah. I don't know how it works there but here your parents still pay for college and exercise control over you. Your only hope is when you get away to the college you can party and live as you wish as you live on your own finally. But getting there is usually influenced heavily by your parents. Hence most people party nonstop in college because it's the first they can live wild and crazy.

Most people choose their college based on their field of interest not on the dating choices. College is for learning. Don't know if you heard. Also going out of state from where you live makes you an "out of state" student and your tuition goes up considerably. :confused:

Quit contributing to TDK reaming of chesy becasue your/his arguments don't make sense.
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its funny..here they are calling WW suspect and in another thread they are calling yall trailer trash....hhhhmmmm this is so familiar ? desparaging words about WW. Misogyny.

OH shit!!! this happen when twiddle dumb and twiddle dumber was doing the samething to BW. now its happening to WW.

wow I wonder who go slammed for telling those two to stop bashing BW ? HMMM . I wonder who were the ones coming to those two misogynist? now they are all upset that people like them are dogging out WW....
 
The Dark Knight said:
Its not about being open to bm its about exclusively dating them and only them after decades of not dating them at all. Sounds suspect.
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goodlove said:
I dont find it suspect. I find it as a part of life. who said there were guidelines and time limits on dating outside your race. thats bullshit. when is it legit to say Im gonna start dating IR...15, 20, 30 but after 35 you have to stay within your race. Its in the IR guidelines page 217 paragraph 7. WTF

so you are you saying she marries a wm and after 15-20 years of marriage she cant date a BM ? why ? if a BM marries a BW and after divorce he cant date IR ? why?

if a ww married an am and divorces and then decides to date a Bm she cant because ...? why? so on and so forth.

so what she/he decides to date IR after 30 or 40 ? now what ? he/she has to stay in that race because YOU will feel comfortable?

you will not know if the person is dating you as a fetish or out of curiosity after you started talking to her/him. even then if it is curiosity you still need to know what are they curious about.
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just answer the questions buddy.
 
goodlove said:
just answer the questions buddy.
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I just did pay attention. There's nothing wrong with discovering new people to date but this sudden revelation of dating bm exclusively when your social stock is at its lowest (not to be confused with personal self worth) is kind of suspect sorry. Even if your intentions are good it still comes across as if "well I'm not as popular with the men I dated my entire life I guess a black guy will do"

It's not the same with bm who date ww later in life because for a lot of them that would have been willing their asses would have high consequences to pay.
 
The Dark Knight said:
I just did pay attention. There's nothing wrong with discovering new people to date but this sudden revelation of dating bm exclusively when your social stock is at its lowest (not to be confused with personal self worth) is kind of suspect sorry. Even if your intentions are good it still comes across as if "well I'm not as popular with the men I dated my entire life I guess a black guy will do"

It's not the same with bm who date ww later in life because for a lot of them that would have been willing their asses would have high consequences to pay.
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I talked about this shit before and most of yall got mad when I said it. I said that WW have them most to lose especially a ww from a middle class family because she maybe a trust fund baby , living with parents, going to college off of parents dime and the parents maybe str8 up racist. you have no clue. so she has to play the game. she may legitimately fall in love with a WM (for shame for that happening) and get a divorce. maybe by then she is extremely independent and say fuck it ...its my life and start dating IR. so if you are dating a WW that is still sucking the tits of the parents be ready for some undercover shit if she is not ready to committ. if she says she is ready for a committment then be ready to marry her because she will lose everything.
 
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