Afraid to approach someone of another race?

[ladeda]

Right on. As a woman who approaches both men and women of different races I work with the eye contact thing. I look at both men and women I find attractive and a lot of bm look back - a fleeting look and then looking away means "don't approach" but continuing to look and give me the nod or a smile or hello means "open to approach" to me... but rarely do they actually approach me. I wish more would becuase I am looking but not finding, lol.

For me to approach I have to have some reason to talk with someone - to laugh and make a joke or an observation or ask a question or whatever... then just with that simple conversation can see how it feels and move forward or away.

I am shy about approaching people of other races when they are in a group that doesn't include anyone of my race... had a few bad experiences with that so I tend to avoid that situation unless I feel pretty specifically invited into the group.

How would you guys like a ww to approach you?

ow, the eye contact thing is a touchy touchy thing for me. i have been working seriously hard to fix this issue. I tend to stick out and when I get an eye my body automatically shoots my eyes away. This is my own insecurity and I hate myself for having it. When I'm out and about and I can feel the eyes on me but a part of my brain freaks out and I cant handle it when I really do want/need the attention! In a weird way I worry that I'm not too quick and I often catch the tail end of an eye because I'm WAY To oblivious. Because of this, I have been accused of being an asshole or overly confident.

I should also add that I have a very very very apprehensive take on eye contact. When I walk into a room (here is a bit of context, I'm 6'3 and obviously black) I get a mixed assortment of looks from actual interest to fear. Yes, fear. So, I have to really force myself to dive into a persons direction and look back when I get the gut feeling of fear in the area. I'm being totally flipping frank and honest here. Nothing ruins the moment more than the look of fear that resides on a primal level. I'm sure that they arent aware that they are doing it but its a hell of a lot to deal with at times. I'm not gangster by any stretch of the imagination. I'm somewhere between prep/hip kid.

Approaching women is another thing thats tough for me. Its just not my style. Yet, I always seem to make it happen and I always find a girl. The hard part is getting outside of my circle of friends from my alma mater. This is another part that I am trying to work on. The rejection is tough and it seems like the guys that act as if there is nothing to lose are the ones that are......how can I put this....the ones that are not ready to offer up some realness.

Not to be a david downner or anything, this is just my take on folks.

 

[scott1618]

Yeah, Im one of those guys who wear a shirt and tie but i have not ever been in a IR before and Ive been thru a divorce and decided to be more open. I have always been attracted but never acted.

how will one know if a ww is interested due to the barriers that i never crossed before ?

See the problem is you are placing a little too much emphasis on race and you are putting the ball too far into the womens court. For example: what if she is afraid to approach you or you find out that YOU are the one that is not clicking with her?

Don't put race into it at all because if she is going to judge you on race alone then thats a creature you do not want in the first place.

The problem is alot of guys put pussy on a pedastal. Never put a women above yourself and never give a woman extra respect based on looks or the fact she has a vagina alone and especially not because of race.

Don't give women any extra attention or drooling over unless they actually DO something that proves they are worth a damn and actually deserve that extra attention. Ladies, the opposite of this is true as well.

Talk to WW just like the equal human beings they are. Don't come on too strong and just start off with some friendly small talk that shows you have a sense of humor and some self-confidence. Stay cool and relaxed and most (sane) women that aren't playing games will show subtle (or not so subtle) signs of whether they are interested or not. Some signs of interest women themselves don't even realize they are showing.

 

[bonyjoop]

See the problem is you are placing a little too much emphasis on race and you are putting the ball too far into the womens court. For example: what if she is afraid to approach you or you find out that YOU are the one that is not clicking with her?

Don't put race into it at all because if she is going to judge you on race alone then thats a creature you do not want in the first place.

The problem is alot of guys put pussy on a pedastal. Never put a women above yourself and never give a woman extra respect based on looks or the fact she has a vagina alone and especially not because of race.

Don't give women any extra attention or drooling over unless they actually DO something that proves they are worth a damn and actually deserve that extra attention. Ladies, the opposite of this is true as well.

Talk to WW just like the equal human beings they are. Don't come on too strong and just start off with some friendly small talk that shows you have a sense of humor and some self-confidence. Stay cool and relaxed and most (sane) women that aren't playing games will show subtle (or not so subtle) signs of whether they are interested or not. Some signs of interest women themselves don't even realize they are showing.

truly from the mack scrolls there bro.

yeah, i guess i have been out the game i almost forgot. hell even when your married u treat em equals and not put em on peds.

also need to know when to scoop and blow.

 

[LA]

truly from the mack scrolls there bro.

yeah, i guess i have been out the game i almost forgot. hell even when your married u treat em equals and not put em on peds.

also need to know when to scoop and blow.

WTF?

 

[Raul Sinclair]

See the problem is you are placing a little too much emphasis on race and you are putting the ball too far into the womens court. For example: what if she is afraid to approach you or you find out that YOU are the one that is not clicking with her?

Don't put race into it at all because if she is going to judge you on race alone then thats a creature you do not want in the first place.

The problem is alot of guys put pussy on a pedastal. Never put a women above yourself and never give a woman extra respect based on looks or the fact she has a vagina alone and especially not because of race.

Don't give women any extra attention or drooling over unless they actually DO something that proves they are worth a damn and actually deserve that extra attention. Ladies, the opposite of this is true as well.

Talk to WW just like the equal human beings they are. Don't come on too strong and just start off with some friendly small talk that shows you have a sense of humor and some self-confidence. Stay cool and relaxed and most (sane) women that aren't playing games will show subtle (or not so subtle) signs of whether they are interested or not. Some signs of interest women themselves don't even realize they are showing.

Concur

 

[satyricon]

Bring something with you. Some (white) women like cocaine, some like bagels and cream cheese. Find that thing and bring it with you.

 

[The Dark King]

Wait....thats insulting. So average white women don't pick average black men. They have to be exceptional.

Basically what your saying is that an average white women will get with an average white man but when they come to pick from our race they only pick the best of us. They have that power.

What does that say about black men?

We have to be that damn good in order to get a white women who is just decent.

To me it says racial inferiority.

I actually agree that in hyper racially influenced country/world we live most people can't get pass the physical and sorry to say that there is social value placed on race. There was actually a whole chapter on that in the book Freakanomics. White women are more likely to date white men and when they do date outside of their race it's usually with a man who has more than the average white man. There study found that white women who dated and married black men on average ended with a guy who made twice as much as your average white man.
So in other words we have to be exceptional to even be noticed. We are long way from being seen as equals.

 

[Espy]

I actually agree that in hyper racially influenced country/world we live most people can't get pass the physical and sorry to say that there is social value placed on race. There was actually a whole chapter on that in the book Freakanomics. White women are more likely to date white men and when they do date outside of their race it's usually with a man who has more than the average white man. There study found that white women who dated and married black men on average ended with a guy who made twice as much as your average white man.
So in other words we have to be exceptional to even be noticed. We are long way from being seen as equals.

Given that money is apparently a big draw to a lot of people, I don't doubt there's truth to this. It's sad nevertheless, as it leads people to the conclusion that you arrived at. But you don't have to be exceptional to be noticed, maybe for some people that's true, but it's not the case with everyone. I know, I know, you're about to point out that people who think otherwise are in the minority. I get that Andrae, but the fact that they exist at all is something and that's why I point it out to you every time. I for one do not wish to be measured by the low standards set by the rest of the people in the world. And if you fall into the 'everyone is the same' trap, you make it harder to see the people who aren't like that. Equality doesn't exist and it may never exist because there will always be people who cannot see you as an equal. Those people have allowed hatred and ignorance to render them blind, do you really think their view is the one that should set the standard?

 

[karmacoma.]

WTF?

 

[karmacoma.]

I actually agree that in hyper racially influenced country/world we live most people can't get pass the physical and sorry to say that there is social value placed on race. There was actually a whole chapter on that in the book Freakanomics. White women are more likely to date white men and when they do date outside of their race it's usually with a man who has more than the average white man. There study found that white women who dated and married black men on average ended with a guy who made twice as much as your average white man.
So in other words we have to be exceptional to even be noticed. We are long way from being seen as equals.

But that's in anything that's worth having, like career. You have to be exceptional to be noticed. To get promotions. To get paid. BW say all the time you have to be 6' or taller, house, nice car, no kids, great career, corporate on weekdays, superthug on the weekends before they even give you the time of day. Isn't that being exceptional?

WW in my mind will date/marry a guy as long as he treats her right, regardless of money. At least way faster than women of other races.

A lot of you brothas have been completely ghetto brainwashed. You are parroting sistagirl talking points.

 

[SmoothDaddy101]

But that's in anything that's worth having, like career. You have to be exceptional to be noticed. To get promotions. To get paid. BW say all the time you have to be 6' or taller, house, nice car, no kids, great career, corporate on weekdays, superthug on the weekends before they even give you the time of day. Isn't that being exceptional?

WW in my mind will date/marry a guy as long as he treats her right, regardless of money. At least way faster than women of other races.

A lot of you brothas have been completely ghetto brainwashed. You are parroting sistagirl talking points.

+1+1+1+1+1+1+1

 

[Blacktiger2005]

They will not bite.

 

[xoxo]

But that's in anything that's worth having, like career. You have to be exceptional to be noticed. To get promotions. To get paid. BW say all the time you have to be 6' or taller, house, nice car, no kids, great career, corporate on weekdays, superthug on the weekends before they even give you the time of day. Isn't that being exceptional?

WW in my mind will date/marry a guy as long as he treats her right, regardless of money. At least way faster than women of other races.

A lot of you brothas have been completely ghetto brainwashed. You are parroting sistagirl talking points.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to karmacoma. again.

 

[chicity]

I actually agree that in hyper racially influenced country/world we live most people can't get pass the physical and sorry to say that there is social value placed on race. There was actually a whole chapter on that in the book Freakanomics. White women are more likely to date white men and when they do date outside of their race it's usually with a man who has more than the average white man. There study found that white women who dated and married black men on average ended with a guy who made twice as much as your average white man.
So in other words we have to be exceptional to even be noticed. We are long way from being seen as equals.

I don't hear you saying that when white women date Black Men, they have to make more than their last boyfriend. I hear you saying that they make more than the average white man.

Did it ever occur to you that the White Women who date Black Men are simply of a higher quality themselves than the ones that don't? High quality Women frequently attract wealthy men. That doesn't necessarily mean the women are gold diggers, it could mean that they are the type of women that wealthy men prefer. What makes you think that the women who date interracially would ever give the "average" White man a chance? Leave those average types for the women who don't date IR.

I'm just saying, there's more than one way to interpret that data. You seem focused on the most defeatest, negative interpretation.

 

[chicity]

But that's in anything that's worth having, like career. You have to be exceptional to be noticed. To get promotions. To get paid. BW say all the time you have to be 6' or taller, house, nice car, no kids, great career, corporate on weekdays, superthug on the weekends before they even give you the time of day. Isn't that being exceptional?

WW in my mind will date/marry a guy as long as he treats her right, regardless of money. At least way faster than women of other races.

A lot of you brothas have been completely ghetto brainwashed. You are parroting sistagirl talking points.

good point

 

[karmacoma.]

I don't hear you saying that when white women date Black Men, they have to make more than their last boyfriend. I hear you saying that they make more than the average white man.

Did it ever occur to you that the White Women who date Black Men are simply of a higher quality themselves than the ones that don't? High quality Women frequently attract wealthy men. That doesn't necessarily mean the women are gold diggers, it could mean that they are the type of women that wealthy men prefer. What makes you think that the women who date interracially would ever give the "average" White man a chance? Leave those average types for the women who don't date IR.

I'm just saying, there's more than one way to interpret that data. You seem focused on the most defeatest, negative interpretation.

Slow ya roll, nah:

 

[Espy]

Slow ya roll, nah:

You are not nice! LMAO!

Now you know there are higher caliber ladies out there than those 4 shining examples. Shame on you Karma for casting dispersions on all of us WW.

 

[FG]

that woman on the lower right side really creeps me out.

 

[Espy]

that woman on the lower right side really creeps me out.

I hear you FG. I think if you gave them dwarf-esque names then going clockwise from top left you'd have: Dopey, Grouchy, Scary, Goofy.

 

[FG]

I hear you FG. I think if you gave them dwarf-esque names then going clockwise from top left you'd have: Dopey, Grouchy, Scary, Goofy.

man!!! that is just too god for words! i think we need to market that!!!!
Serial!