Rapper Eve on interracial dating: ‘Black men have been doing it for years’

[luvattractivewomen]

My only issue is the whole your mom is black so your girl should be too. That doesn't make any sense. It's like they're trying to promote incest with that line.

In a black women's defense, I'm pretty sure there is heat to be gotten for dating "out" but most of that heat is inevitable with all ir relations. They act like everyone's out to get them, like this is some type of knight and princess type of game, where us black men are a bunch of dragons or ogres and she's being forced held captive by us. I'm tempted to say it's the opposite... but I'll lay off that subject for now.

Most of the "heat" is in their heads. Most BM don't give a F*ck who you are with so long as they aren't trying to hook up too. Eve had to bitch about it in an article for people to even think about it. However, if you look up Essence Magazine with Reggie Bush on the cover BW flipped in forums because he was with a non black woman at the time. I think the very next month they had Halle Berry on the cover and not a F*ck was given. LOL... Figures.

 

[The Dark King]

Most of the "heat" is in their heads. Most BM don't give a F*ck who you are with so long as they aren't trying to hook up too. Eve had to bitch about it in an article for people to even think about it. However, if you look up Essence Magazine with Reggie Bush on the cover BW flipped in forums because he was with a non black woman at the time. I think the very next month they had Halle Berry on the cover and not a F*ck was given. LOL... Figures.

+1

 

[Ches]

Well like I stated for a lot of them its not taking responsibility for their bad choices. Its easier to say "all" bm are a certain way then to recognize your own actions that lead to less than desirable conditions. Focusing on ridiculous shit like swag instead of how well a man treats you or being more concerned about what he's driving or wearing instead of where he's going/striving to be.
Bad decisions are not just desiginated to bw and they aren't the only ones who blame others but the scornful way they depict all bm ends up not only hurting them but their sons too. I think all men are weight conscious I just think a lot of bm take whatever they think they can get at least as far as I've seen. Don't me wrong a little meat on a curvy woman's body is sexy but some women take it a little too far. Think Monique pre weight loss, I would consider what she is now is closer to curvy.

I had a whole response to this typed and lost it. Maybe, in light of other comments after, it wasn't necessary. We will always disagree on the weight thing. Our experiences have just been different.

My only issue is the whole your mom is black so your girl should be too. That doesn't make any sense. It's like they're trying to promote incest with that line.

In a black women's defense, I'm pretty sure there is heat to be gotten for dating "out" but most of that heat is inevitable with all ir relations. They act like everyone's out to get them, like this is some type of knight and princess type of game, where us black men are a bunch of dragons or ogres and she's being forced held captive by us. I'm tempted to say it's the opposite... but I'll lay off that subject for now.

I more or less get the same thing as a WW. I should date WM because I'm white, my family is white...um so? Lol.

This isn't a new problem. Some BW gloss over the civil rights era as if Black People always stuck together and BM worshiped BW as if she were a goddess. The truth is, all you have to do is read literature during that time. If you read Eldridge Cleaver's soul on ice, he talks about men who prefer WW and how tired they were of the attitudes of BW and the constant blame BM received. Now, considering that he wrote this while imprisoned and it was even published until 1968 you can get an idea. If you read the earlier sections of the Autobiography of Malcolm X you can see it. The main issue is a set of insecurities. When I used to get made fun of by black girls when I was a child I would ask my parents why they were mean. They told me that the only thing she hated more than me is herself. And I think it applies to some. There is nothing worse than someone who hates who they are (as a person, not necessarily as a race).

Next we have the issue of entitlement. Unfortunately, a lot of people feel as though they are entitled to love and don't actually want to change to receive love. In the black community, some BW feel as though they are entitled to a man simply by being black. I have literally had an estimated 280 to 300 pound woman cuss me out because I was with someone who wasn't black and she honestly felt that she had something more to offer because she is black. Some of these women will guilt men into dating them by saying that they hate their mother. The truth is, my mother is only part Black and is Jewish. If you were to look at her you would assume she was either white or persian. So, I kind of laugh when I hear that. Anyway, back on subject.

Another issue is parenting. I haven't met a woman who didn't repeat what their mother or father said growing up. A quote, " Children don't always listen to their parents, but they never fail to mimic them". I think this holds true even in adulthood. If you factor that 59% of unmarried BW with multiple children have them from multiple fathers, it's easy to assume that they will grow up hearing, "Your daddy wasn't shit". In the end, because the mother may not have respected herself to find the right man, or made a mistake young, the children grow up with nothing but negative comments about men. The issue is that they are black so they will ultimately associate that with BM.

And finally, the media. In 1965 I think the amount of two parents homes in the Black Community was around 80%. What happened? A few things. Vietnam, which caused a big issue in the Black Community. Second Wave Feminism, As I do realize that it did push the envelope for women in the workplace, the mantra of "I don't need no man" correlates quite well with "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle". This couples with COINTELPRO and how they pushed an influx of drugs in the ghettos. Then the birth of crack cocaine (alsothe various wealthy black communities that were destroyed by whites.... heck the Carnegie family burned down a rich and famous black bank in Pittsburgh in order to get into banking). During this time all we received were negative comments by the media as well as angry BW on talk shows. There was a time where we would fight such things, but I suppose you don't need to fight if the government will pick up the slack. Also, the extreme dependence on government assistance. And before you know it, you have a community filled with women who don't actually need a man after they have given birth because the government will fix it. Not to mention that the black community is kind of oversexed.

Also, the negative opinions of their sexuality in the media. But, then again, the media pretty much tries to get every woman regardless of race to hate themselves so that they can buy their product.


The failure to take responsibility for the dumb ass choices they make. We all make dumb choices and the moment we can accept that we can move forward. But, some prefer to be victims and wear it on their shirt like a badge.


All in all, a messed up situation that has affected us all. The difference is, many BM just keep moving forward, and some BW stick to entitlement issues for all of the reasons mentioned.

This is very helpful and illuminating. Thank you.

I can totally understand the parenting thing. I read something (and posted about it in another thread) about a poll of young BW and what their aspirations were when they got out of high school. I'm sketchy on the details, but one thing I took away it was that a number of them simply wanted to have babies and go on welfare. When asked why it was "because that's what my mother and grandmother did." What seems like irresponsible behavior was, to them, following tradition.

 

[AlmostThere]

Can you elaborate on both bolded points?

Why do they scorn you? In their mind, what have you done wrong just by being a black men?

I don't see insecurity in black women - just the opposite, in fact. UNLESS what and how they present is over-compensation for a feeling of insecurity.

In a nutshell

1) They believe that Black men "failed" them by not elevating them the way they perceive White men have elevated White women. They believe that White women are considered the most beautiful and most desirable and Black women ugly and least desirable not because of anything related to aesthetics, but due to White women being associated with white men, who have more power than any other race of men, and themselves being associated with Black men, who are descendants of slaves.

This mindset fails to explain where White men came from (white women give birth to them) and why no other race of women (Arabs, Native Americans, Asians, etc) treat their male counterparts the same way as Black women do theirs, even though those other races of men don't have resources on par with European descended men and some have similiar histories of being conquered by Europeans. It also fails to explain why...

2) Of the "Big 4" demographics in America (Asian, Black, Latino, White), Black men are the only group in which the men are clearly more desired than the females. Asian women are more desired than Asian men, while White women and Latinas seem to be equally desired as their male counterparts.

The damage is twofold because not only does it hurt their pride (which I can't say I blame them for that - but I do blame them for the way they behave about it), but it also limits their ability to attract desirable partners, which is why a big emphasis is placed on who Black men with money date. The scorn in this case may be more of a case of subterfuge, designed to denigrate and downgrade Black men so they would look less desirable to non-Black women therefore giving themselves better access (for those who want Black men). Also it allows them to play the victim, a victim waiting for a knight (and a White male Knight mostly) in shining armor to rescue them (for those who want White men.)

 

[Ches]

In a nutshell

1) They believe that Black men "failed" them by not elevating them the way they perceive White men have elevated White women. They believe that White women are considered the most beautiful and most desirable and Black women ugly and least desirable not because of anything related to aesthetics, but due to White women being associated with white men, who have more power than any other race of men, and themselves being associated with Black men, who are descendants of slaves.

This mindset fails to explain where White men came from (white women give birth to them) and why no other race of women (Arabs, Native Americans, Asians, etc) treat their male counterparts the same way as Black women do theirs, even though those other races of men don't have resources on par with European descended men and some have similiar histories of being conquered by Europeans. It also fails to explain why...

2) Of the "Big 4" demographics in America (Asian, Black, Latino, White), Black men are the only group in which the men are clearly more desired than the females. Asian women are more desired than Asian men, while White women and Latinas seem to be equally desired as their male counterparts.

The damage is twofold because not only does it hurt their pride (which I can't say I blame them for that - but I do blame them for the way they behave about it), but it also limits their ability to attract desirable partners, which is why a big emphasis is placed on who Black men with money date. The scorn in this case may be more of a case of subterfuge, designed to denigrate and downgrade Black men so they would look less desirable to non-Black women therefore giving themselves better access (for those who want Black men). Also it allows them to play the victim, a victim waiting for a knight (and a White male Knight mostly) in shining armor to rescue them (for those who want White men.)

Wow! I've never heard this before....if true, I had no idea. I mean, a number of men have referred to "white privilege" and not only was I truly unaware of it, I'm still learning what it's like to see WP from the a black man/woman's vantage point. Any time I'm made aware, I feel like I've been sucker-punched.

I can't say I blame them either, but the tendency is to turn that pain into nonchalance or anger. What, in your mind, would be a better way to handle it? There are still many, many BM that prefer BW, despite the attitudes that the men here have described. And the reason I hear most times, is they admire a BW's strength and backbone. So the thing that seems to turn one man on, turns another off. (My ex bf, despite having a lot of complimentary things to say about me and the way I treated him, still went back to dating BW.)

 

[AlmostThere]

Wow! I've never heard this before....if true, I had no idea. I mean, a number of men have referred to "white privilege" and not only was I truly unaware of it, I'm still learning what it's like to see WP from the a black man/woman's vantage point. Any time I'm made aware, I feel like I've been sucker-punched.

The key word was "perceive". Doesn't make it real, though it is real to those who feel that way. My own perception is that it is an aesthetics issue. Yes there are historical events that shape tastes and preferences just as there are some natural things, things that sociobiologists and psychologist have yet to fully understand. There are other groups who lack power and privilege, yet the women are considered desirable and beautiful.

I can't say I blame them either, but the tendency is to turn that pain into nonchalance or anger. What, in your mind, would be a better way to handle it?

I won't pretend that I fully have the answers, but I will say what they are doing isn't working. I think they should try and create their own niche of romantic/sexual appeal that is independent of Black men and forge an identity that is not based on hostility or undermining another group they deem as "competitors" (mostly Black men and White women) and based on highlighting their positive features.

 

[Ches]

The key word was "perceive". Doesn't make it real, though it is real to those who feel that way. My own perception is that it is an aesthetics issue. Yes there are historical events that shape tastes and preferences just as there are some natural things, things that sociobiologists and psychologist have yet to fully understand. There are other groups who lack power and privilege, yet the women are considered desirable and beautiful.

I won't pretend that I fully have the answers, but I will say what they are doing isn't working. I think they should try and create their own niche of romantic/sexual appeal that is independent of Black men and forge an identity that is not based on hostility or undermining another group they deem as "competitors" (mostly Black men and White women) and based on highlighting their positive features.

Beautifully stated. I have come to more fully appreciate the beauty and sexual appeal that BW have and you're right: they need to focus on promoting that without denigrating others.. I actually feel that BW have an edge on WW. I guess for the same reason I think BM have the edge on WM.

 

[luvattractivewomen]

Wow! I've never heard this before....if true, I had no idea. I mean, a number of men have referred to "white privilege" and not only was I truly unaware of it, I'm still learning what it's like to see WP from the a black man/woman's vantage point. Any time I'm made aware, I feel like I've been sucker-punched.

I can't say I blame them either, but the tendency is to turn that pain into nonchalance or anger. What, in your mind, would be a better way to handle it? There are still many, many BM that prefer BW, despite the attitudes that the men here have described. And the reason I hear most times, is they admire a BW's strength and backbone. So the thing that seems to turn one man on, turns another off. (My ex bf, despite having a lot of complimentary things to say about me and the way I treated him, still went back to dating BW.)

Keep in mind he may not have gone back to BW because they are stronger or better. He may have dated BW after you because he grew up with the same shitty attitude from his mother and if she was the main caretaker than that is what he relates to strength and femininity.

 

[Ches]

Keep in mind he may not have gone back to BW because they are stronger or better. He may have dated BW after you because he grew up with the same shitty attitude from his mother and if she was the main caretaker than that is what he relates to strength and femininity.

Hmmmm. Food for thought....

Personally, I believe he is just simply deeply attracted to BW on a physical level. Nothing wrong with that. He made a comment once, though, that puzzled me, but in light of what you wrote above, maybe now makes sense. (Although I think it was more due to the influence of his ex-wife rather than his mother.) He said with a BW, he "knew what to expect." I guess you go back to what you know, even if it's undesirable - because that's your comfort zone. :smt102

 

[luvattractivewomen]

Hmmmm. Food for thought....

Personally, I believe he is just simply deeply attracted to BW on a physical level. Nothing wrong with that. He made a comment once, though, that puzzled me, but in light of what you wrote above, maybe now makes sense. (Although I think it was more due to the influence of his ex-wife rather than his mother.) He said with a BW, he "knew what to expect." I guess you go back to what you know, even if it's undesirable - because that's your comfort zone. :smt102

Unfortunately, I have seen the exact same behavior in abused women. Food for thought.

 

[Ches]

Unfortunately, I have seen the exact same behavior in abused women. Food for thought.

Absolutely.

 

[orejon4]

I think more white men and black women should date, and so should more whites and blacks with Asians, Latinos of every racial mixture, indigenous, aboriginal, bushmen.

 

[xoxo]

I think more white men and black women should date, and so should more whites and blacks with Asians, Latinos of every racial mixture, indigenous, aboriginal, bushmen.

I'm looking to get me an Eskimo chick....you know all the blubber goes to the right places.

 

[Gorath]

Comedian D.L. Hugeley said on the show Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher,"If world did more fuckin' and less fightin', we'll be all right."

 

[xoxo]

so much win in this thread.

In a nutshell

1) They believe that Black men "failed" them by not elevating them the way they perceive White men have elevated White women. They believe that White women are considered the most beautiful and most desirable and Black women ugly and least desirable not because of anything related to aesthetics, but due to White women being associated with white men, who have more power than any other race of men, and themselves being associated with Black men, who are descendants of slaves.

This mindset fails to explain where White men came from (white women give birth to them) and why no other race of women (Arabs, Native Americans, Asians, etc) treat their male counterparts the same way as Black women do theirs, even though those other races of men don't have resources on par with European descended men and some have similiar histories of being conquered by Europeans. It also fails to explain why...

2) Of the "Big 4" demographics in America (Asian, Black, Latino, White), Black men are the only group in which the men are clearly more desired than the females. Asian women are more desired than Asian men, while White women and Latinas seem to be equally desired as their male counterparts.

The damage is twofold because not only does it hurt their pride (which I can't say I blame them for that - but I do blame them for the way they behave about it), but it also limits their ability to attract desirable partners, which is why a big emphasis is placed on who Black men with money date. The scorn in this case may be more of a case of subterfuge, designed to denigrate and downgrade Black men so they would look less desirable to non-Black women therefore giving themselves better access (for those who want Black men). Also it allows them to play the victim, a victim waiting for a knight (and a White male Knight mostly) in shining armor to rescue them (for those who want White men.)

cogent and concise as fuck right here!

 

[orejon4]

I'm looking to get me an Eskimo chick....you know all the blubber goes to the right places.

That was so, so wrong.

Comedian D.L. Hugeley said on the show Politically Incorrect with Bill Maher,"If world did more fuckin' and less fightin', we'll be all right."

Bingo!

 

[goodlove]

Can you elaborate on both bolded points?

Why do they scorn you? In their mind, what have you done wrong just by being a black men?

I don't see insecurity in black women - just the opposite, in fact. UNLESS what and how they present is over-compensation for a feeling of insecurity.

Check out any talk show from the last 20 years Ches

I don't want to watch a talk show. I want to hear it from him, from his perspective. Or any guy here who shares that POV. I'd like to be able to ask questions so I can understand - not hear the grievances of someone who might just be looking for their 5 minutes of fame. (Besides, I work when most talk shows are on and my DVR is full of shows I don't have time to watch).

I don't have much interaction with BW - save one, who is a close friend. Much of what I "know" I observe from a distance. My friend dates BM and we actually gravitate towards the same kind of men, both in looks and personality. She doesn't act like some of the men here describe BW.

Fair enough. What I was alluding to was the fact that no other group of men get dogged out publically the way bm do by women of their own "race". Many can't wait to tell the world how lazy and no good bm are. They never make it specific to their experience or do what every other woman does and blame men in general. I dont know if its some type of jealousy at not having as many choices or what but there is a clear disdain that bw love sharing with the world. You can only hear"bm aint shit" until part of you wants to stay clear. I know ots not alp or even most but the minority is loud and in your face its just easier amd simplier to stay clear. For me personally I never had a woman who was attracted to my skin and my nerdy personality until I started spending time with white girls. Even now as an adult I cringe when I hear grown ass women talk about swag. Black women never appreciated any of my qualities there was a heavier focus on dudes with swag who loved to fuck around and as a result just pike everything else we are judged by the worst of us. Hope that gives you some insight.

hell yeah cosign on all of the above. bw are really quick to get in front of a mike and diss bm. of late i have seen backlash for that. example, Oprah had a show about single mothers and why men arent around. not suprising BM was getting their asses whipped. BUT, oprah and the other 2 co-host was slowing the steam roll. espoecially with thios statement "Men (referring to all men and why they dont come around) dont like drama....they will stay away from it....."

the tide is shifting where women are calling other women out for their bullshit...especially BW.

Most of the "heat" is in their heads. Most BM don't give a F*ck who you are with so long as they aren't trying to hook up too. Eve had to bitch about it in an article for people to even think about it. However, if you look up Essence Magazine with Reggie Bush on the cover BW flipped in forums because he was with a non black woman at the time. I think the very next month they had Halle Berry on the cover and not a F*ck was given. LOL... Figures.

+1

Beautifully stated. I have come to more fully appreciate the beauty and sexual appeal that BW have and you're right: they need to focus on promoting that without denigrating others.. I actually feel that BW have an edge on WW. I guess for the same reason I think BM have the edge on WM.

Keep in mind he may not have gone back to BW because they are stronger or better. He may have dated BW after you because he grew up with the same shitty attitude from his mother and if she was the main caretaker than that is what he relates to strength and femininity.

or he just liked that particular women and not because she is black

 

[The Dark King]

hell yeah cosign on all of the above. bw are really quick to get in front of a mike and diss bm. of late i have seen backlash for that. example, Oprah had a show about single mothers and why men arent around. not suprising BM was getting their asses whipped. BUT, oprah and the other 2 co-host was slowing the steam roll. espoecially with thios statement "Men (referring to all men and why they dont come around) dont like drama....they will stay away from it....."

the tide is shifting where women are calling other women out for their bullshit...especially BW.









or he just liked that particular women and not because she is black

That's what I was thinking

 

[Ches]

or he just liked that particular women and not because she is black

I might agree except that he was never comfortable with the fact that I was white. I am the only white woman he dated. And he admitted to still having feelings towards me, but the IR thing just didn't fit. He always felt like people were staring & judging. I think he will always prefer BW.

 

[The Dark King]

I might agree except that he was never comfortable with the fact that I was white. I am the only white woman he dated. And he admitted to still having feelings towards me, but the IR thing just didn't fit. He always felt like people were staring & judging. I think he will always prefer BW.

Or he'll always care what people think. Weird that a grown ass man still gives two shits but it couple be where you live because up here people don't bat an eye at two men together so a bm with a wm isn't much of a shock.