Rejection

Thank you!

Like I said to GZ, Mama knows best!

 

Well of course being ugly is worse than being attractive in this world. Even those who complain about how their attractiveness attracts envy would not trade their looks for ugliness. I was simply stating that it's not very uncommon for a fairly attractive male to receive little female attention. When Neil Strauss was on The View he talked about how funny it was when one of his pupils struggled to master "the game" because this pupil was so "gorgeous".

I am glad that I wasn't born ugly and that I haven't been hideously disfigured in some horrible accident. It still doesn't change my thoughts about the uselessness of my looks. Even Gracian reasoned "What good is being excellent if no one knows you are? What if the sun hid its brilliance, or the rose never left the prison of its bud, fanning itself into vivid color?". I could twist his philosophy a little bit and ask "What good is being excellent if no one acknowledges that you are?" I used to be quite disappointed that so many attractive women were with ugly men but as I grow older I realize that maybe those ugly men just have something that I don't and I'm not entitled to women.

I wouldn't say a foot in the door. It's icing on the cake for a guy and people always love icing. My brother often says "I guess you gotta be ugly to get women these days". Some girls DO like ugly guys. :smt043

 

Or they don't consider them ugly. Beauty is very subjective. Certain men that women LOVE never make sense to me, like when that whole emo eyeliner hoody thing was in, a lot of girls in grad school were in love with that but it's not for us to understand fam because we like women.

 

Unlike most guys, I wouldn't say that I like women in general. I like certain women and this type of thinking is probably my subconscious response to the selectivity of females when it comes to men.

 

Rejection...

I've been use to it for a long time, so the effect of it altogether basically seems like second nature. If they are upfront about their not being interested in me, then I just move on. No complaints and no problems. Besides, why bother dwelling over something like that when there are plenty other fish in the sea?

 

I've never really had to deal with a lot of rejection. When I was younger and went out a lot, I didn't really care much if someone would reject me but I don't remember very many instances of that happening anyways. I don't go out much at all nowadays, though, so I don't really know how well I could handle being rejected.

 

:smt045:smt045:smt045

 

Necro bump, sorry.

Just thought I'd add that an older woman once told me that she initially rejected most guys, including ones she liked, to see how they handled rejection and she'd kinda size them up based on that. I never got a chance to ask for details, but I thought it was an interesting concept at least.

 

Do elaborate further, my friend. I'd like to know more.

 

Whispering sweet nothings into ears of many lovely men is a cruel expectation for those who yearn for passion and companionship.

 

I have been trying to tell people this for years and they that I was crazy!!

 

Agreed, sounds like a bitch move to me, tbh. I hope she doesn't kick up a stink when they play games right back.

If I was to hit on someone/ask them out and they said no for whatever reason, I wouldn't take it too hard. I'd probably be a little disappointed, but nothing more. Rejection from someone you're already in a relationship with is obviously a different animal.

That said, if I like someone, I'll either make a move or decide not to pretty early on so I've never really experienced lusting after someone for X amount of time and then getting rejected and I imagine that would hurt a lot more. Personally, I'm not involved until I'm involved, so rejection outside of existing relationships is a non-issue.

 

On the surface, I appear to handle rejection well. I blow it off and smile and keep moving on. But when I'm away from the situation, I'll analyze it way more than I should and try to figure out WHY I was rejected. I wouldn't say I obsess over it, but I will dwell for a while
Then I just start looking for the next opportunity!

 

You and me both!!

 

That's what's up.


I tend to think about it on a cost/benefit kind of analysis, and it's also psychological. Now, for me - I've been rejected so many times I don't do anymore asking, or at least, I haven't since the last time. If you've asked 100 times and 70-90% of the time you don't get anywhere, you're going to stop asking. At least, I did. Really not worth it.

Don't mind me, not trying to joy kill. :smt002

 

ahhh hell naw. I look at it this way...chalk it up as was your approach wrong and if you think so the change it up. moreso than not it is a situation that he or she maybe in a bad mood or he/she may not be ready for a relationship at the time. dont take it personal ..chalk it up as part of the game.

 

I feel the same way as well, especially when you get the run around and don't get straight answers. I am going through the longest time between me asking one out, but this Saturday I plan on finally putting myself out there with someone I really like. I really hope it works this time!!

 

Since I didn't get details I'm not entirely sure how that worked out for her, but apparently she did that in her younger years before she matured. I'd imagine if the guy took rejection well she'd more inclined to take things further as opposed to a guy who begged for her attention. Speculation, though.

And yeah, definitely a bitch move. Also, she was single, so... yeah.