When you joined this forum - what was your story?

Unless the two you’re pursuing know about each other and you have some shared care plan situation going on, there’s nothing right about it. If there’s complete transparency across the three of you and that’s what floats your boat then cool.

But no man (or woman) can ‘have your cake and eat it too’ where genuine feelings are involved, because if they were you wouldn’t feel the urge to stray.

Some men may find it cool, but the women on the receiving end find it hurtful and deceptive once they find out and toying with a females feelings is a dangerous game to play.

I think once thoughts like you’re having manifest you know in your mind you’ll seek it out. I don’t believe anyone should stay in a situation they don’t feel happy in life is way too short to not be fulfilled whether by yourself or by someone else’s doing. If your foot is already half way out the door from lack of want or love than that’s quite sad and if it’s been that way then it’s likely it won’t change. I think your focal point needs to be what’s going on in your current situation and whether it’s repairable or a write off before you’re wondering how green the grass is on the white girls pad. Just remember not all white women are the same not all black women are the same.

What one white woman is willing to offer won’t be the same as the next. Women as a whole have evolved they know what they want, trust me - my ex ‘cancer’ crazy, narcissistic and abusive ass American bf thought he could bring his unrealistic level of dominance into my life because I’m a ‘submissive’ white woman, we are tolerable because Aussies are way too nice in general, but he soon found out what I wasn’t willing to except and ended terribly for him. I think maybe all white women were tolerable back in the day when our job was to wait on a man in the kitchen and allow him to make all money etc etc but now that we aren’t that way inclined we know we can still do bad on our own so our tolerance levels are different.

 

It's because chaos ensues, especially when both parties don't know.

 

So I guess I'll write this here.

I was married from age 21 to 36. My husband ended up being a totally different person than I thought he was. I decided to go out and try to meet people. Only people giving me serious attention were black guys, I ended up hooking up with one, it only lasted a couple days but not soon after I met another guy. It didn't work out either but I have found myself really attracted to black men now. I wanted to see if anyone had some of the same feelings/questions as me so I found this.

I have no idea why black guys were the only ones chatting me up, I know there are more factors than this but I saw some threads in the Locker Room forum, I'm blonde, short, have fake boobs (thanks ex hubby) and wear yoga pants even though I don't do yoga That might have played a part (no I didn't wear yoga pants to a club, but I did to the grocery store)

 

There's something in your personality that attracts a brother. It goes beyond looks and you are relaxed in speaking to them.

 

More comfortable in my second go with guys in general than the first, but that is probably just maturity. When the first guy chatted me up I thought it was a novelty but it quickly turned into more than that.

 

That's wonderful. It's going to a bit tough but, that homeboy will sweep you off your feet.

 

Reviving a bit of an old thread. When I joined I was still in college finally starting to come to grips with my preference and was wondering (foolishly) if others were in the same boat. Lurking on the threads after joining was a great help with my self acceptance. Haven’t looked back since

 

The forum was great proof that I wasn’t the only person out here thinking about these questions and acknowledging certain facts of their existence

 

I remember when I stumbled upon this site, I felt so elated at the concept of interacting with my kind of tribe. I had high hopes of meeting my future American husband lol and always felt a bit scared of the clip art female representing the site. While I wasn't fortunate enough to meet my husband lol and am fortune to openly and without judgement (that I know of lol) interact with a good group of wwbm veterans.

 

I think you and some other forum members who have mentioned this on other threads are spot on. There is indeed a value in having found one's "tribe" and being at peace and enjoying communicating with like-minded souls. I like having some connections with people for whom my relationship preference doesn't constitute an issue or something that raises an eyebrow.

 

I joined today. I've always liked the long form forum style (I'm a member of a few music ones and a comedy one) over twitter or insta. I quit social media and most discussions of interracial relationships there were reduced to fetish, pornified or based on stereotypes of one kind or another. I think relationships, despite being a fundamental part of life, are often discussed in reductive or surface level terms and these discussions reinforce prejudice and are often pointless. Whilst I find the dynamics of all sorts, not limited to WW/BM although that's my personal experience and interest, interesting and worthy of more in depth discussion.

Personally my first ever experience, when I was very young, was with a black man and not ideal and looking back quite inappropriate but have since been healthy, enjoyable and validate my preference. I don't have space with family or friends to explore this in any real depth.

 

First, welcome to the site! Glad to have you! Second the last part of your post about not having a space with family or friends to explore the topic with was me when I first joined. The community and people here were and still are a safe space for those discussions. Hope it’s the same for you.

 

My family and friends aren't racist generally but when it comes to me personally I do feel it comes out or at least there's a "it's ok generally but you're my daughter/sister/friend/ex and that's different" which I find hurtful but also interesting in why they feel that way.

 

Aren`t there US bases in where you live?

 

The bolded part is nothing new and it`s based on ignorance. Follow your own path

 

Not where I live, in another state there is.

 

I agree. Based on ignorance and "it's ok for someone I don't know but that changes it you're my...". It doesn't affect what I do but I do find it hurtful. Personally, but also more that people I know are selective in their racism when they claim not to be racist at all. My brain, my body and my heart are all my own is my opinion.

 

1. Just joined. Been divorced 3yrs.

2. Always found that I got along great with WW only I don't get to meet that many. I figured online might be the way to go.

3. It has only been a few minutes so... no. I'm hopeful though.

 

This is very true. It's difficult for people to accept that their child/sibling has the right to be with whomever they choose. Traditional family structures often view children as their parents' property, and that they should be assigned to whomever their parents choose for them.