I’m not mentally ill, I just have a problem with reality.

 

Life is an open door. It can be closed at any time, so don’t complain about the draught.

 

Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans.

 

Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.

 

Never, ever make absolute, unconditional statements.

 

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

 

People in cars cause accidents. Accidents in cars cause people.

 

Sex is like air; it’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.

 

The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.

 

The future will be better tomorrow.

 

The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it.

 

Somebody's awfully quote-happy tonight.:smt042

 

The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out.

 

The only certain thing in life is death.

 

There are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.

 

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

 

Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest.

 

Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.

 

Wasting time is an important part of living

 

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police. so true unfortunately or any other emergency service providers