How Many Dates Before the First Sexual Encounter?

If I was really digging a guy I would NEVER fuck him on the first date, even if the physical attraction was immense. No way. In fact, I'd probably not even kiss him, which is so personal to me (and often leads to sex for me anyway).

Not fucking him right away should tell him how special he is to me.

Alternately, if a man tries to fuck me on the first date, his stock drops dramatically in my eyes. It tells me he has no self-control, doesn't respect me or really care what I am about, it's all about getting in the panties. These are men you can not trust, IMO.

 

So Bliss can we not go on and date and just do it...then date later?:smt026

 

:-| Hmmph!

 

&*@#$!:smt093:smt076

 

The ironic fucked up thing is women give it up to dudes they dont like that much. This bit of knowledge makes it really difficult for men to accept the prize for really liking us is no sex. Prize for you maybe but not us

 

I really like you = coochie Ramadan

 

This.

For me, making a guy wait is not playing games, or treating him like a chump as someone suggested in another post. As Bliss said, when I meet someone I really feel has the potential to become very special to me, I don't want to ruin it by having my judgement clouded by lust/sex. I want to see him clearly and know and understand him on all other levels first.

Although I've violated this, truly, I want sex to be a demonstration of my love and committment to a man, something I don't develop immediately, so why should I sleep with him immediately?

I can't speak for anyone but myself: I want my body to follow my heart not the other way around. I don't want to "love" someone because I desire him. I want to desire him because I love him. And that takes time.

 

Sounds like the intro to a Lifetime movie.

 

And that is the weird thing. I have done it. And hated myself for it. Because, while it might have been fun at the time, it was empty and meaningless afterwards. And that's the feeling/memory that stays with me. But I knew going into it that my actions were fueled by nothing more than hormones. And, in my case, so did he. So while it does seem bass ackwards, I think I'm not alone in admitting that yes, I make that special guy wait, but I've messed around with that not-so-special guy. Because I knew it had no long-term potential.

 

Men are from Mars, women are from...some place where nothing makes sense, no matter how much you try to understand it, and everything is driven by emotions in lieu of logic, where no man wishes to travel...EVER! (joking)

 

I know you're joking and I appreciate that, but believe me, women feel the same way about men. A (male) relationship coach, whose blog I read at times, has written a book called "Why He Disappeared." It seems to be very popular. A lot of us can't figure y'all out either. :smt102 A man's "logic" is vastly different than a woman's at times, and vice versa.

 

I have a theory on why we think so differently. You wanna hear it?

 

Let me also just say that I've read COUNTLESS accounts from women who thought they were with someone special, the chemistry was awesome, it just felt....right. So they slept with the guy. What happens? Poof. He's gone. Is it any wonder that we may want to wait a bit to see if a guy REALLY plans to hang around? Coz if we're not putting out, and you're still with us, we take that as, not a guarantee, but a good sign anyway. We hope it signals that we mean more to you than just a roll in the hay.

 

Ooohhh, I think Imma regret this....but go ahead!

 

So you make him wait...and what happens? *poof* he bounces anyway. If a dude is a scumbag, he's just a scumbag. Time isn't the great equalizer. All you did was waste your own time. Now you have to start back at scratch. Then what? Make the next guy wait twice as long? And then...*poof*, same thing.

 

True, that absolutely can happen. But the question that begs to be asked is if he's only out for one thing, why would he wait? Especially if it's for months?

 

Amen sir. I really want to stress to women holding out isnt going to make things last longer . Dont try to rig the system because if a guy is a slimey piece of shit hes banging other girls while you make him wait. My girl would kill me for saying this but she gave it up on date three and it might have been sooner but date three was when we were at my place. Ive stayed with her for the last year because she is the funniest smartest sweetest person I have ever come across... it doesnt hurt that she looks good naked lol but when I had sex with her had zero impact on me wanting to be with her. I think most men feel the same way. Id also like to add women who made me wait were NEVER worth the wait. That shit only works in nobels this shit aint Twilight lol

 

He waits because hes being satisfied elsewhere or isnt into sex too much

 

Our toys and games we played with/played as children. Lil girls are more centered around fantasy and emotional things...lil boys are more reality based and rough & tumble.

 

Many men see women as conquests sweety. This is common knowledge