A Guy/Woman with Herpes vs. A Guy/Woman with kid(s)

I have had a conversation on this topic with various friends, some with kids but most without. When it comes dating some with one or more children its almost as if they can be considered like someone with herpes.

After two years of trying the online dating thing and utilizing A/B testing method on my profiles(yeah, I said profiles) it was incredible seeing the amount of women that contacted me when I said I didn't have kids to when I mentioned having kids.

What are your thoughts, do you think they are similar in the way people when they find out they typically run for the hills?

I've dated both, don't mistake dated for sexual activities.

 

i dated a man who had kids,
i didnt mind it, it was nice to see that he had a caring side, i just got frustrated with him more if he then made stupid decisions that affected them. put your kids first.

 

There are different things to consider, I think.

When I understood you correct, you've had different profiles to test which one is more successful (one with and one without kids)..did you mention that you are just interested in sexual affairs/activities and/or was it related on a serious relationship,too? Did you mention any age range you are interested in?

In general I assume, if I know it is just for sex, I couldn't care less, whether you have now kids or not. Why should I?

If we talk about a serious interest in you, I don't care about kids either. I find it normal that a man or a woman has a past and kids and girl-friends/wife are a part of it. If I see he is caring, great, as Jaycece said, kids are first.

Why I've talked about age range...young women plan their own family and of course it's more difficult with a man, who has already a former family. Women over a certain age, don't plan kids anymore and the kids of the partner are mostly grown-up, so their influence is minimal.

 

Each time it was for something serious and not just sexual affairs/activities. The age range was 23-30, and you just shed some light on this topic...

Now that i think about it, it was mostly when the search criteria was for younger women did communication of new potentials drop however when it was 27-35 or 40+ they were ok with it.

So in reality its the younger women who have an issue with it versus the older women. hmmmmm

 

So you are saying <27 responded to the profile without kids.

Because you would have to compare an apple to an apple .......two exact profiles with one change and that change is the kids.

 

That is correct, the profile never changed.. just the selection mentioning kids or not. Do you think it makes a difference if its the same profile just for one month it has the kids listed and another month it doesn't have kids listed?

Per another thread on here, I have to agree that the online thing is superficial...

 

It's a tough one. Herpes is no good but by by age 40 half of Americans have it anyway.

I couldn't deal with anyone with kids. If Im in my late 30s with no kids of my own then I'd consider it, but at 27? Not happening.


Anyway I probably wouldn't mess around with either.

 

I'm in my late 30's and would consider a man with or without children. I'm of two minds regarding that though. On one hand a man with kids wouldn't pressure me to have my own children but on the other, it might be difficult to convince either man when I want to adopt (which I will), that this is how we are having children instead of making our own.

Regarding just relaxed dating, it wouldn't matter if he had children but as Jaycece and CD wrote, he must treat those children right and put them first because anything other than that is an enormous turnoff.

 

Personally I even prefer if a man has a kid or 2 from a previous relationship or marriage,as I may not be able to have kids myself (medical problem).I wouldn't want that to be a problem in the relationship at one point and from experience men who have a kid/kids already seem more okay with possibly not having any more kids,than a guy who has none yet but may want some somewhere down the line.
However as it was mentioned by some of you,too,I would want him to be a responsible dad with the child(ren)'s interest coming first to him.

 

The issue I think I have is that women don't give BM a chance to prove they are not like the rest.

The two of you are a rare type of women. Stay this way please.

 

I honestly dont think their thought on that is rare. Any woman w her head screwed on right should think like that. I would never date a man who has kids and dont treat them right. That is a huge honkin red flag.

 

My man has 2 children (daughters), which sadly he never sees. I'd love him to be able to have contact with them, it doesn't bother me at all that he has them.

Herpes on the other hand....HELL NO! :smt018 That would have been a deal breaker. Disgusting. Makes me gag just thinking about it.

 

Will do

 

I wouldn't care if he had oral herpes, but genital herpes would be problematic. I wouldn't want to have to schedule my loving around his outbreaks. But everything can be managed so..... lol

 

I agree.

 

herpes simplex-1 is fairly common (anywhere from 50-80%)

those cold sores you get on your mouth when the weather changes, are considered an outbreak and can spread through area contact. But you know, people just call them fever blisters or something else....anything but what it really is..herpes. Genital herpes on the other hand...that's the one most people i know fear.:smt095

 

i understand all of your points and I am GQ Magazines Father of the Year. When i first came on this site I had given up on the whole online dating thing, my thoughts on this stems more from the lack of responses when I put i have kids on my profiles versus when I put no answer to the question.

I gave up on the whole online dating thing, call it jaded if you want but I dont think love can be found or made online. Love has to happen in person...

if he had oral herpes would you kiss him or let him go downtown?

 

I wouldn't consider them like someone with herpes, but I'd rather my man only have kids with me.

 

oral herpes is contagious when active, but not when it's dormant

a responsible partner would work with you, to let you know when they were having a possible outbreak.

think of it as a common cold..you wouldn't go near someone sick like a dog, would you? at the same time, you wouldn't shun them for having colds because just about everyone gets one, at some point in time