Funny Ass Shit Thread....

No, she's saying that her small dog bites people (and her labrador). She said that if she talks to other people he jumps up and bites her out of jealousy.

 

Hahaha, so her pussy is broken?

 

a man walks into a bar pulling a chain.
the bartender asks, "why are u pulling that chain?"
the man answers, "have you ever tried pushing one?"

 

:-|

 

Exactly.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toWH41X-D3I&feature=related Ok if this is not fucked up, i dunno what is!! O_O

 

[YOUTUBE]HUcPeMs871k[/YOUTUBE]

 

What Is Mr. Conservative Doing At The Bunny Ranch?

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He entered the blow-job contest and WON.

 

Phillip Winikoff, 81, Allegedly Impersonated Doctor, Performed Breast Exams

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/..._n_1007273.html#s270945&title=Gregory_Liascos

An 81-year-old Florida man, who police say posed as a door-to-door physician and duped at least two women into having their breasts examined, has struck a plea deal with prosecutors.

Phillip Winikoff was charged in 2006 with three counts of sexual battery, two counts of practicing medicine without a license, two counts of simple battery and one count of using the title of doctor without a license.
Winikoff, of Coconut Creek, was 76 years old when police arrested him for fondling two women's breasts and genitals while masquerading as a doctor giving free, unsolicited checkups in an apartment complex.

On Tuesday, his lawyers told Broward Circuit Judge Sandra Perlman that they had reached a deal with prosecutors. The attorneys were late arriving in court, so Perlman, who had another trial to oversee, said she would reschedule the plea hearing. No firm date was set, the Sun Sentinel reported.

Five years ago, Winikoff, carrying a black "doctor's" bag, went to an apartment complex in Lauderdale Lakes. The phony doctor knocked on a unit belonging to a 36-year-old woman. He allegedly said he was visiting on behalf of a local hospital.

"He told the woman that he was in the neighborhood offering free breast exams," Broward county Sheriff's Office spokesman Hugh Graf said.
The unwitting patient let Winikoff into her apartment and he began the exam. After allegedly touching the victim's chest, Winikoff moved an ungloved hand to the woman's genitals and further molested her.

Suspecting that Winikoff was not a real doctor, the victim contacted the sheriff's office. When deputies arrived, the white-haired, fake physician had already left. He did not go far, however. Instead of fleeing the area, Winikoff found another victim, a 33-year-old woman who lived in the same apartment complex as the first victim, police said.

The second victim told police a similar story, saying Winikoff had presented himself as a doctor who was in the area giving free breast exams. Again, the woman let Winikoff into her apartment and again, he allegedly sexually battered his victim.

Deputies later located Winikoff and took the phony physician into custody without incident.

You gotta give the ol' man credit.....but the woman who got examined should be the ones arrested for being so damn stupid!

 

Looks like the iPhone 4S is coming in handy for some users!

Check out some of the responses from Siri, the automated personal assistant.

 

Hey Sis!

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:smt095:smt095:smt095

 

lmao

 

Holy shit. :smt042