Last Names and Marriage

That's your state. Each case/place is different. Do try again, though, Counselor.

 

Just saying.... be happy I gave you a pass on the implicit caveman-type assumption that it's the man who's acquiring all the property.

 

Gotta love the defensiveness.

 

Yes and no. lol My man's last name isn't great. It's hard for people to pronounce and it brings cringes, confused looks and giggles to Aussies who hear it. So i'm of two minds about taking it officially. I would like to use it (and am), but still use my name occasionally. I don't know, I've been thinking about it a lot ever since we decided to get married and I still haven't made up my mind.

 

What am I supposed to be defensive about, exactly?

 

I think yours is a special case. I had a friend who married some African dude and took his boola-boola last name. I couldn't even pronounce it. And she's white too. They have since divorced and she got her name back.

 

I'm sorry, I'm hearing adults in a Charlie Brown special again.

 

Because she enabled the man to make it if they had a "traditional" marriage. But I don't know any married women who don't work, do you?

 

Yeah, it's difficult when the name is so vastly different to anything in your own culture. I love man and his name, but I think I might end up not using it most of the time. I've been told that I can use both names anyway, so I might just stick with that. If that makes sense? I'll have to talk to him about it though, don't want to hurt his feelings over it.

 

Yes. Quite a few. It's a common thing, even though those of us who work don't want it to be.

 

I don't know any. I never cared one way or another whether some other person works or not, but the financial fact is most couples today need two incomes.

I do know one stay at home dad who doesnt work outside the house, but he also has MS.

 

In the area I live in, I'd say that at least 90% of the wives don't work.

 

Careful, that's in conflict with Pixie World where all the women work, are alpha females, and taking your husband's last name is antiquated and a sign of submission, yet married men live longer.

 

LOL

 

Lol...karmsy. You're such a tease.

It's crazy though when I think of how little the numbers are of women who work outside of the home. I will mention though that they all have children, but honestly once those kids go to school they seriously need to get out in the workforce. You can see the disconnect between their reality and mine

 

I never said taking your husband's name was an act of submission. I just saw no reason to do it. Not all women are alpha females, either, I've never suggested that. The women *I* know work.

Male Lifespan

Health & Human services studies of health effects of marriage

And Tam, I agree, different choices for different people. For me, changing my name just was not something I felt comfortable doing. I have a dear friend who, when I asked her why she had changed her name said "I like my husband a hell of a lot more than I liked my father." That made a lot of sense. People make different choices based on all kinds of different factors.

 

Maintaining a connection to her professional reputation, etc., is one reason why a woman might choose not to change her name upon marriage. But for those of you who think that having the same surname is important for forging a sense of unity or some such thing, why should it be the woman alone who changes her name? Have any of the guys committed to a common last name considered changing theirs or hyphenating it in some way?