Your Market Value

I find that many of the conflicts on this board stem from men and women expressing some ideal image of a partner that rubs other board members the wrong way.

Of course there is a degree of conceit to believing that you deserve more than an "average" partner, because to believe otherwise would mean accepting that you're average yourself. Perish the thought!

In any case, what do you think your "market value" is?

I am especially curious to know if you've ever dated (or bedded) someone who you thought completely met or exceeded your expectations in terms of attractiveness?

For the sake of avoiding tangential considerations, we will employ generic Maxim or Cosmopolitan notions of attractiveness as our template. For men that is usually a woman with a great body who laughs at all your unfunny jokes. For women it is the ruggedly handsome guy with an edge who says things that are actually funny.

 

$2
Yes i have dated a guy way more goodlooking than me.

 

I've dated men much more attractive than I am, and men who were much less attractive. I'm taking your lead and speaking on a strictly physical sense.

I'm 53 and I have MS. I have negative value on the dating market, even less where relationships are concerned. Hell, some days I don't have enough value as a person to compensate for the amount of oxygen I consume.

 

The girls I usually hook up with are usually out of my league I can be honest about that but girls I usually end up with are usually a standard deviation or two below as far as total package is concerned.

 

Low market value.

 

It would be interesting to know how you define your value as well, as the person who posed the question? Also, Should I view your comment regarding "conceit" as tongue-in-cheek, or is it your belief that no forum members meet the criteria of, "better than average"?

 

Women: http://heartiste.wordpress.com/dating-market-value-test-for-women/

Men: http://heartiste.wordpress.com/dating-market-value-test-for-men/

 

I support this question, and rep you, swirlman.

 

I would say virtually everyone I've been with was out of my league looks-wise, but that's because I was attracted to them and wouldn't have been with them if I wasn't. If I thought I 'deserved' them(looks only), I wouldn't think they were out of my league

-Does it count if they start out great and decline/I lose the rose-tinted specs afterwards?
-Are we only counting getting them or keeping them as well?

Solely based on looks, my value is low(ten a penny covers it).

I chose to ignore your points about 'funny', funny only factors if I'm looking for a new friend. Most exes laughed at my jokes, that counts in their favour a lot more than them being funny themselves, imho.

 

Me: -4 to 14: Classic beta. Your hot friends always gets hit on first, but if you really tramp it up you can snag a slightly better than average guy to take you home for a single night of commitment.

My man: 1 to 9: Classic beta. You catch some girls’ eyes, usually the ones you don’t want. Try not to make fatty fucking a lifestyle.

 

I must say that I'm surprised at the modesty in these responses, less so from the Australian and British folks as they are known for their self-deprecation. Thanks ladies.

More tellingly was andrae's response because one might be led to believe that he's been forced to do without female attention due to the global forces of white supremacy. Bravo andrae.

__

My "market value" is something that is satisfactory enough to where it became a secondary concern several years ago. I'm a little smart and a little funny. I no longer share my (real) picture with forum members, but you can ask those who've seen me to render their evaluations.

And Brittannia, that test was ridiculous.

 

you first...wait i already know the answer

 

This is a difficult question to answer. As they say, we are our own worst critics. And truly, beauty (market value) can be very subjective. I, personally, don't think I'm very attractive, but I've heard from many men that I'm stupid and that I have no idea what I'm talking about. LOL. :smt081

I can't tell you what my market value is....to me, I have definitely scored better looking men than what I perceive my looks to dictate.

However, if you ask other people, they may think differently? :smt102

 

I have never bedded or dated a guy that I found under my market value... but that is hard to define. They always met or exceeded my expectations in terms of attractiveness.
I don't go for a specific type, its all over the board, tall, short, skinny, washboard abs and pudgy. They have been geeks, brawny, jocks etc....Funny and smart gets me every time, if you know when to turn it off, some people just don't know how to.
My market value is not anything I can make a decision on - I say its satisfactory, have no complaints.

 

Saty is F'ing gorgeous! BTW

LoL :smt102

 

Yeah, this is where I stand about it.

 

I assume, the question is, why is average bad?. To be average isn't wrong or embarrassing at all. Only a few people are naturally predestinated, if it's now physically, intellectually or being gifted in any way. The rest, what makes us all special and why we have a reason to be proud of ourselves is daily hard work and discipline. We can develop our characters, qualities as well as our bodies. And if you do the best you can, you will "upgrade" yourself and have better possibilities than others. You have to become special in any way. It doesn't help to have a partner than lifts you out of average. I personally prefer average people that risked a lot or worked hard for that what they are today, because they have the knowledge about life and a certain genuineness.

But arrogance, as I have to see it many times, and just sitting on the sofas shouting around, how perfect they are and belittleing others (by treating them sexistic, rassistic or telling them how stupid they are) is just a way to manipulate the balance. You try to pull others into depth to feel yourself better.

I don't think so...look at your friends, partner, colleagues. What do you think is their market value? They appreciate you and like to be with you, some even feel attracted to you. I assume your market value is around the same..


Mine on a scale from one to ten, in the league I want to be- I assume around 7-8

 

At one point or another all my exes were super sexy to me, otherwise I would never have been with them. Now, though...no bueno.

I guess I've had a few guys who could've been models or whatever (dating, not relationships), but I've never been one of those "love at first sight" girls. I'm more of a "love at first conversation" type, and what really turns my head is a sexy brain, sparkling wit, and good conversation.

So, if we drop the suggestion you outlined and go by what really attracts me, then I'm sad to say I've only once dated a man in my league, and it was for a very short time. The rest have mostly been rather dumb, though a couple came a little closer than that. When we consider my actual relationships, and not just going out on dates, they were still mostly dumb. I've rarely even found friends who could keep up with me intellectually, let alone went out with smart people.

If we go by the media's standard of beauty alone, and my ability to laugh at unfunny jokes, then I guess my "market value" would be in the negatives. I can't laugh at things that aren't funny to me just because I want someone to like me, and my curves are more than just skin and bone, so it's not like I'd ever land on the cover of Cosmo.

I feel it's an impossible question. My self worth is not based on anything physical. My mind, that's what makes me think highly of myself. It's what I value the most. The physical can be changed, if one is so inspired to, or has the money for plastic surgery. Stupid is something botox can't fix. If I were to meet a few of my celebrity crushes...honestly, it doesn't matter how much I like their bodies, or faces. If they're idiots, or assholes, I would never be able to view them the same. The attraction level would drop to zero. So, for example, if I were to go out with Tyrese, and he was boring, rude, and stupid, then I would assign him a "market value" of 0, regardless of his obvious sex appeal to many women.

I just don't understand our preoccupation with quantifying things that can't actually be measured. I was actually a bit disappointed when I saw it was you who made this thread, saty. I hold you in such high regard, I just feel this sort of thing is beneath you.

 

Fair enough.

At face value the thread does seem like an exercise in chest (or breast) thumping. I want to see how those who aren't shy about (repeatedly) itemizing what they desire in a partner respond when they place the spotlight on themselves. I also think the use of narrow criteria is in keeping with the general character of many, if not most, conversations about attractiveness on the board. It's not mature but I'm willing to use that framework for illustrative purposes.

And thank you, I hold you in high regard as well.

 

I am not going to take the bait on this one. Whatever I said would be ripped apart, not believed (no matter how modest or truthful), and serve (me) no purpose.