Your idealistic and realistic partner matches?

But if she’s a virgin you’d be ok getting married before having sex (according to that line of thought)?

 

Yeah. Not that I prefer one, it just makes sense.

 

Interesting.

 

At that point you already know what to expect, and if you find out she lied, you can annul the marriage. No one wants a liar.

 

Why would she lie about that? After all there’s no virginity bonus (or punishment) in our parts.
(Side note, you might never find out though, because the “blood on the sheets” test is not 100%.)

 

It's not likely someone would lie about that. Just pointing out that there isn't really a reason to have sex with a virgin before marriage, unless she suggests it.

 

He's not a brother. and that's not how it was.

 

It wasn't quite like that....the kids would have free reign to both sides. She's messy, he's a neat freak.....it would have worked well. She was still trying to do it when the kids were older too.

 

Ok I’m kinda feeling it now. My husband is a neat freak and it can be irritating at times...I’m not gonna tell him to live separately though ‘cos I’m afraid he’d like it too much lol.

 

There was a lot more than that but I didn't get into all that. When my kids were little I knew several women who would have preferred something like that. They were home with the kids and felt like it was a real upheaval when their husbands came home. I remember one time when they were talking about how they would love to get a piece of property where all the women and kids could live and help each other and their men could come visit on the weekends. Many of them felt like their husbands were just more work for them. Wasn't my thing, but whatever.

When I was younger I would have NEVER thought of living separately from my mate too.....things change. Now I don't know that I would want someone living with me 24/7, especially while I still have teens in the house. I'm good with the parttime living together thing though. I do realize that if someone came along that was really compatible I MIGHT want to do the 24/7. But at this point, I really don't see it happening, at least until after the kids are grown.

 

There are still some people out there who have a big thing about virginity and would lie about it. Then there's the ones who do anal to stay "virginal" HA

 

Yes you are in a completely stage of life.
Living with other women and children and the husband just popping in and out ...lol...interesting concept. Not for me at all.

 

I have heard the latter about Turkish girls in Germany...self-deception...!

 

Some Arab girls too.

 

On the flip side if you are an idiot and promise to marry a virgin. If she has sex with you and you back out, she can hammer you in court.

 

For what?
In Shar’ia Court?

 

Basic contract law. Contract under false pretenses if she lied. In this case the guy was an idiot and backed out of a reasonable expectation. He actually verbally entered a contract and breached it. Plus the fact that virginity is valuable to some people.

Its like I call it, marriage is a contract.

 

Really?!
In German law virginity doesn’t play any legal role in marriage.

 

Lol. Most Americans don't know this. Think about it. A guy proposes to a virgin, buys her a ring then later he dumps her. She can field day him in court.