your friends is dating someone with you had an one night stand....

http://www.steveharvey.com/strawberry-letter/shes-dating-one-one-night-stands/

your friend is dating someone with who you had an one night stand years before would you tell them?

 

Yep.

 

Nope. Not my business. They might have something "we" didn't. Don't see how that is relevant.

 

why?

 

Depends on how things develop.

If they just met I would tell him. If she had a one night stand with me, she has probably done it with others and if he is my friend I would want him to have full disclosure.

If he has been telling me that he has been seeing this girl and that he is falling for her and when he finally introduces her to me it is her, I will pull her aside and give her a chance to tell him first (privately when they are alone). If they are getting close like that, it would be better if it came from her, then they can work out what they want to do. After enough time has elapsed and if she hasn't told him, then I would. If he is my friend, I don't want to play him for a fool nor let some woman do that to him. If she is not going to disclose an essential detail like that to him, then they probably won't work anyway.

 

not cool dude...some things are better left unsaid...if you had a one night stand with her then that says something about you too...if they have a one night stand then sure have a beer with your friend and compare notes...but if he is really liking her he is going to hate you for ruining it...

 

lets say you had an one stand with a dude and your girl meets him later and its getting serious. would u tell her?

 

It has nothing to do with slut-shaming her as her escapades would no longer be relevant to me if it did not involve my friend. If the shoe was on the other foot, I would rather know upfront rather than have my friend continually look at me and smile in my face knowing that he has already been balls-deep into some woman that I may fall for. At least I/he will be able to make an informed decision. Friends don't let friends operate in the blind.

 

No...the only way I would tell is if he was playing several women at the same time...trying to be sneaky or if I thought she was in danger...the past is the past...

If it was more than a one night stand then I would share...you never know what might be still in his possession...cards...pictures...etc then it would be better to say...FYI...we dated in 2012 for 5 months and it didn't work out ...hopefully you two are a better match

 

This is the best way to handle it. I repped you and forgot to include my name. Anyway, maye, dude wouldn't normally get serious with a girl who does one night stands? Maybe, he has a "no dating anyone my friends have been with rule?" Maybe, he couldn't care less about the past. Either way,that's your boy and your loyalty is with him. Give him the info so he can make an informed decision about who he's dealing with.

If a person sleeps around, they have to understand and accept that this could happen. Either suck it up and charge it to the game (haven't said that in years ...lol) or stop fuckin' out of both pants legs. ...lol

 

If my gf had a one night stand with the guy I'm now seeing and neither of them told me and I found out later, I'd be pissed. It's not a matter of morals, it's the fact that they had carnal knowledge of each other. I would've liked to know that going in. I think I'd be uncomfortable knowing that my friend was intimate with him and him with her.

 

I wouldn't get involved with a woman that's been with someone in my inner circle; therefore I think all of my friends should also be given the chance to make an informed decision. In this case I would disclose what happened because I was involved. Friends tend to trust, share, talk shit to one another ect.. I can't see how having intimate knowledge of a friends SO could be a good thing regardless if the info is disclosed or not.

I remember having a little too much to drink at a cook out on new years. My friends wife suggested I leave my car where we were and she would bring me back to get it the next day. The next day she came to my place alone. There were no problems or awkwardness at all because we never been together, there were no secrets between any of us and we both had the trust of her husband/my homie, and of course we honored that trust. That's how it should be.

 

Right! There a lot if people that feel that way. Some people just don't want to go behind their friends' leftovers.

I can't date any girl that's been with my friends. I might catch something. ...lol

All jokes aside, it's just not I'd do. We could be friends and hang out. But, it could never be serious.

 

:smt043

Agreed with both of you! If my friend is falling for some guy I had been with, I would most definitely let her know (although I actually prefer almost there's take on giving the girl/guy the opportunity to tell their new partner themselves). Last thing I want is awkward get togethers and if you don't speak up early on and they get super serious, it's hard to back track at that point. When it comes to my bff's, it's 100% honesty at.all.times. I always look out for my friends, loyalty is of the utmost importance to me. I'll wish her well and mean it sincerely, after getting the truth off my chest.

 

This I agree with, but I wouldn't say anything until I know it was getting serious.

 

i would tell as soon as i knew they were dating.
guy code

 

Got to do it before it's serious. Once he or she catches feelings like that, it's too late. Plus, it makes you look like you're trying to hide something.

 

Good question. If their relationship got serious and they had gotten involved much later after our initial encounter and I had never told him, I would expect her to tell him. Then again, if it was just something that happened and meant nothing to either of us, I'm not sure how relevant it would be and it might even cause problems rather than help.

 

I agree with this whole wholeheartedly. If it happened before the gf and the one night stand met and it truly meant nothing. Some things are better staying buried. I usec to belive tgat the truth, no mattervwhat should be told, the older i get, the more i realize that you need to think carefully what your intentions are with telling"truths" about things that may be better offvstsying dead in the past. If it was a situation where one was having feelings for the other or felt duped, then, I would speak up. But knowing your friend very will also help with the decision.

 

thats another key point. how close are you and yoyr friend