WW...Bolder & Making the First Move???

Hey,

I don't mind a WW making a move on going after me. I like it and welcome it.

 

Wished there are more of them.

 

IDK maybe just me but what if a WW made the first move and you didnt know it how would you really know? What is considered making the first move? talking first, touching? etc? in order words what is it really considered in making the first move.. thanks

 

I dont know if this only happens to me,but the majority of the white chicks that seem to be more aggressive & bold when and tend to make the first move are the ones who happen to "act black"...or urban.
I think we need more classy white girls who will approach.

 

LOL! thats sorta the same way with me.... my ex didnt really act black I would say but she acted "ghetto" in which most of her black friends acted.. :?

 

from my experience i get looks and glares all the time.
i think it has a lot to do with your location and how you present yourself.
i think if you appear confident, non threatening and well adjusted, all women will take notice.

 

Re:

Very seldom ever has a white woman hit on me directly. I've always been the one making the first move. I wish more of them would take an initiative with first approaches.

 

I don’t have a problem make the first move. In fact, I like my relationships to include the capacity to both lead and follow… but that’s another thread.

One time I initiated contact was with the first BM I dated, the sexiest Nigerian man I’d ever seen in my life! A g/f and I were sitting outside a coffee, talking each other’s ears off, when this absolutely drop dead gorgeous BM walks past. He was more than tall, dark and handsome. His head was shaved, he was well dressed, and he walked with ease, a really sexy gait.

I was talking at the time, engrossed in our conversation, when I caught sight of him, and I just stopped mid-sentence (a bite-your-knuckle type of reaction) and stared! He glanced at me and I just flashed him this huge smile. He was smiling back and as he walked past, we both just kept grinning crazily at each other. It was so clear that we were both attracted to each other, and my g/f was just shaking her head, saying, “Oh my god, look at you two!!”

He kept turning back to look at me, and I was just laughing, as it really was quite bizarre, but also quite electric. As he turned the corner, my g/f was all disappointed, saying, “Aww, he’s going,” but I told her confidently, “Uh uh, he’ll be back! Aaaaand I’m going to ask for his phone number!” (Which I quickly corrected to say that I would ask if he was single first, THEN ask for his number!)

My g/f was just laughing at me incredulously, when he DID come back around the same corner! I laughed, held his gaze, and beckoned him with my finger (I like to think seductively, but I probably just looked like a very strange albeit forward woman!) for him to come over. He did come over, and just smoothly took over from there, introducing himself and shaking our hands, asking if he could join us for coffee.

I asked him point blank if he was single, to which he laughed and said yes, and asked if I was, which I confirmed. I then asked if he had permanent residency, which he also confirmed, noting that he was an Australian citizen as of one week ago! (Before you jump down my throat for this question, please know that English was not his first language, his accent was thick, and we were in an area near a major university where there are many holders of temporary visas. I simply wanted to protect myself from falling into a temporary relationship.)

Interestingly enough, after being cheeky and audacious, I then became so shy I could barely speak (did I not warn that I’m full of contradictions?!!) and just kept laughing! Fortunately, my g/f held the conversation, even though he and I barely broke eye contact the entire time, and eventually I regained enough composure to hold some resemblance of conversational skills. He later insisted that he had been watching me as he approached, though I was sure I had seen him first; who knows?!!

We ended up talking well into the evening, he took me out for dinner, and we continued to date for several months, ultimately discovering that we had very different values, so weren’t compatible. However we still keep in touch, and I still have fond memories of that first meeting.

Goodness, you got the whole story there! Suffice to say, I have no problem initiating, however I need signs that I’m wanted, which I clearly got in this case, thus emboldening me. I think I start off subtly, such as flashing a smile to express interest, but if I sense a positive response, it’s ON!

Mm, now I’m all self-conscious after sharing all of that! *blush*

 

:wink: Does it really matter who initiates? It's always better to "try and fail, than to fail to try". An assertive woman is always welcome, whereas a pushy-dyke is not. I've been the intiator as well as the initiatee (as I'm sure many of you have) Who cares, about who starts a conversation, as long as it's in good taste, and "breaks the Ice"?!

Having said all that, anyone here in the St. Louis,Missouri - Edwardsville (across the river) Illinois area?

 

got to ask

I got to ask Darryl do you get a lot of pushy dykes being forward with you?

 

LOL..

 

Re: got to ask

LOL - Good come back!

 

I have never been forward really. Never made that first move. Since I have been reading what you all have to say I realize that there is a lot of vulnerability involvled with the whole ww bm realationship issue. So I decided to cut the men some slack and take some of that initiative my self not all but more than before. Otherwise I would probably never meet any one in the area I live in. So I will learn to be BOLD and we will see what happens with it, So far so good :twisted:

 

What city, state are you in?

 

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thats cool redlady I hope there are many ladies in my area thats just like you! :wink:

 

i think it depends on how/where these ww are approaching bm. for example...online vs. real life. it's pretty easy to be all up on somebody on a forum, chatroom or private message, but i wonder how many people would be so brazen on the street?

i met my hubby online...i'm a pretty straight-forward chick...i remember sending him the first private message. but had i met him in person the first time...i might not have been so brave. it wouldn't have been b/c i wouldn't have wanted to talk to him, but more of a self-esteem thing. now, if i were like super hott or something, i'd probably be more willing to approach guys....before i was married, i mean, lol. :wink:

 

I think I'm bolder in person than online. If I'm attracted to someone in person and I'm confident the attraction is mutual and I feel safe, I'll initiate contact. Here, you get the body language and the non-verbal cues, whereas online, all that information is missing, so tis harder to get a sense of the person. I like it when a guy is really tuned in to what's going on (especially between us!) - a high level of attunement is a serious turn on!

Online, you just don't know whether what is presented is how the person really is, so I tend to be more wary. But a guy who is respectful and responsive in person, as well as interested and delicious...................... well, need I say more?!!

 

agreed, but i still think the internet can add a totally different dimension to a relationship...mainly if you're talking to one person (not many), and investing alot of quality conversation with them. it's really alot of fun!

 

I have not met any WW who is bold in this country. Lets hope they can make the effort.