would u take your womans last name?

Perfectly said!

I had to go through the whole change my passport back to my maiden name back in 2010 and it was a right pain in my arse. Thinking about it, it was a right pain in the arse having to change everything in the first place lol

 

It is def a pain in the ass. The kids factor was my biggest concern. Thankfully they had no concern with me changing my last name back. My bf had absolutely no expectation of me changing it back prior to marriage. He mentioned how he felt about it, and since I was no longer attached to that name, I had no issue changing it. If it were something that I felt strongly about (like for reasons you addressed), I would've spoken to him and possibly kept my married name. I'm very much a "choose your battles" type and this was a non issue for me so back to my maiden name I went I can definitely understand your points though.

 

OOOH got it. I was thinking you meant he wanted you to change it prior to that.

I'm still deciding. It's definitely a pain in the rear to do all that. There are pros and cons or reasons for all of it, I guess. I actually sortof thought I would probably get married again before this point and change the name with marriage.

 

I do agree that it's up to the individual. I read an article earlier, which I guess is where I'm coming from http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-29804450

It's a personal choice and I completely respect that.

I divorced my children's father in 2008 and whilst I've had a few love affairs, I shy away as soon as it starts getting serious. Not sure if I would ever marry again, because of my personal experience. My mothers 2 failed marriages, my great aunts marriage that she stayed in, even though she was beaten daily, my grandmother fleeing her abusive and controlling husband and the countless marriages of friends around me crumbling.

I think marriage can be a beautiful thing, don't get me wrong, but I'm not sure I need it

 

Im with u on that...

 

Yah I understand. I guess for me too, I don't have the same feelings of identity tied to the last name. I completely understand how some would feel like they were in some way reclaiming their identity.

I've been looking at what (if any) attachment I have towards either last name. I have some concerns over using either. I actually have a weird history of last names and have had several, not for reasons that most might think. So for me it's a bit different. I don't really know that I really feel like I have a name to go back to.

 

Agreed. And I think you can just as fulfilling a relationship without marriage as you can in one. As for the name issue, I'm not wedded to either of my names, because they were given, I didn't choose them for myself.

 

This made me chuckle and totally want to high five you.
Here's one for you


It's the relationship that counts, everything else is paper doves and and cake decorations.

 

I remember the scene of that Jerry Lewis movie "Who's Minding The Store" when the heir played by John McGiver said the males took the woman's last name because they had the money.

 

Lol, that's just as good a rationale as any I've heard.