Women that are turned on by chubby men...

hmmm, he is yummy even if he is an ex...i see we have the same taste in men too:smt003

 

Nope that's not it, at least for me. I wasn't into the physical even in my 20s. My daughter's 18, and my lil sister is 28, and neither of them have ever been into the physical either. Honestly all three of us are far more conscious of taking care of ourselves, and we all work to stay in shape, but it's not something any of us require in a man. My sister's man is positively pudgy, and my Ex is 5' 7" and about 210, so he's a little on the soft side too... okay that's a bad example because I don't find him attractive at all, but I did once upon a time.

 

I was going to say maybe we are the rule and the other people are the exceptions, but I didn't think I could sell that!

I would venture to say that the majority of people look to the physical first and that their criteria tends to be more restrictive, it just happens that you won't find a lot of people like that here. We're special, and not in a bad way!

 

lol... maybe that would make life a lil smoother.
i just think most people like to complain, or point to the lesser side of desirable things. i don't have time for that shit, it gets you nowhere. turns people bitter and pathetic. i see a lot of these narrow minds headed in that direction. sad...

 

Ok the rule as expressed by our media and several people on this thread and people in my personal life is that people are very visual in their selection of a potential mate. People see you first and hear you second. Go on any dating website and those who are considered attractive by a majority of people get a large amount of response in comparisson to those who aren't considered attractive. Attractive as witnessed in my life includes people who are height weight proportionate with good bone structure and a symetrical face where as unattractive people are considered to be people who are overweight with thinning hair noses that are too big for their faces or very thin lips. Most people tend to lean towards the more attractive because they are attracted to them. There's a great book called the laws of attraction published back in 2002 I forget the author but basically there are survival reasons as to why we like what we like. Women are generally attracted to height because height implies size and size usually means a good fighter a good hunter. Women tend to like a chiseled jaw because its a sign of good calxium and strong bones. Men like women with big breasts and wide hips for obvious reasons. Both sexes are usually attracted to someone with good cardiovascular because it means they can get away from impending danger. The reason isay espy is an exception is because she doesn't seemed to be ruled by physical attraction. Its rare, it could have something to do with fact she's out of child rearing age or she could be more evolved. Knowing the traits that were key for survival aren't needed as much who knows.

 

I agree that sometimes people come across as bitter and jaded, and I do think that's a shame because you miss so much when you don't keep an open-mind. However people change as they get older, and so I don't think all hope is lost for people who appear to be headed in that direction. I know personally I've never been closed-minded, but I do see a lot more shades of gray now that I'm older. In my teens there was a lot of black and white, with very little in between. Thankfully I got over that.

 

Again major exceptions sweetheart far from being the norm

 

Hahahahahaha! LMAO @ this Andrae, but I completely get where you're coming from. I've seen enough information on the biological side of attraction to understand that you are essentially correct on some of the qualities that attract one person to another. However that logic doesn't work with me for a couple reasons:

1. I'm not out of childbearing age, I simply cannot have children due to surgical intervention.

2. I didn't look for physical traits when I was younger either. It's just never been big with me. I always wanted to get to know the person and then they either would, or wouldn't be attractive to me. That's why online dating sites would be useless to me because I couldn't choose someone based upon their picture, and who they describe in their profiles might not actually be accurate and that's the part that matters to me.

I will say that after reading your comment about 'keys for survival' it did occur to me that most of the inherent coding in women that tells us who to choose as a mate is apparently centered around choosing a good provider, protector, etc. I've never considered those qualities to look for, I provide for and protect myself and always have since my teens, so maybe that's why the physical means nothing to me?

 

ok, i don't want to get over analytical or anything here (prolly too late... lol) but then with all of that being the case, do you find yourself unattractive to yourself?? and therein may lie the rub.

 

When I was 18, I dated a guy who was a good 30 pounds over his ideal weight. I was in love with him for over a year.

My next boyfriend (when I was like 20) was height/weight proportionate. He had the sexiest legs and butt....:smt043

My next boyfriend (when I was 22) was a good 30 pounds over his ideal weight.

I've always just been attracted to whomever I was attracted to at the time. I've never had specific criteria.

 

Oh look, another exception. :smt023

Just saving you the time to type that out Andrae.

 

i dunno, maybe a lot of this is based on life experiences as well. because yes, a vast majority of women find a certain body type desirable but i have seen many dudes who didn't fit in that mold still get hollered at by some great looking chics. that's another reason i don't even believe people dissin other body types like "i will never..." that shit is bologna. meet the right one and all that yap will fade like a temple taper.

 

LoL!!

 

I couldn't resist, but Andrae knows I meant no disrespect, he's my favorite Jamaican.

 

This sounds reasonable and I concur with your last paragraph

 

Well like any human being I struggle with image issues from time to time but I'm not sure that I follow your question. Can you ellaborate please.

 

Thanks babe. I love that you have my back.

 

:smt058 Anytime.

 

And I'm sure I'm you're only one too gal lol

 

i'm not even sure of the exact parallel i had in mind when i asked posed the question. my bad. lol