Women should get alimony for LIFE!

What possible difference could that make? The idea that men are ravaging beasts unable to control their dicks in the presence of a woman in a short skirt is *highly* insulting to men. Whether she was alone or in a crowd, the reason she was raped is because she ran into a rapist.

 

It absolutely matters because I am all about RESPONSIBILITY. What should happens and what does happen are two totally different things. I should be allowed to visit a friend in Spanish Harlem at anytime I want but if I go there pass a certain alone I'm gonna get smoked. Period the end.
It sucks that women have to go through this but marches and awareness won't stop shit since the men who do this on regular have some sort of chemical imbalance. Its not that they are unaware that its wrong to rape but they are ravaging beasts who apparently can't control themselves so women should act accordingly. Don't go anywhere by yourself at night, carry some mace with you if possible or a rape whistle but be smart. Life favors the well prepared, just a fact my friend.

 

Uh oh

 

I guess what I said might be unpopular but I stand by it. I don't like living ina world where I might need a gun in my home to protect my loved ones but I'm damn sure happy I have one.

 

If I comment this thread will go forever. All i am going to say is I refuse to live in fear.

 

Yeah, the responsibility of RAPISTS not to rape. What I wear is quite honestly, not an issue. 70% of rapes are not stranger rapes. They are rapes by men known by the woman. So telling us to be paranoid about our drinks, our wardrobes, etc is rather pointless.

And if women cannot wear what they want, drink if they want, go where they want, then we don't have an equal society. No one tells you if your house gets robbed that it was your fault for not having live in security guards.

I should be able to go out alone at night, period. What we need to do is lock up rapists, not limit women's lives.

 

You were in law enforcement we could all benefit from your take on it. Am I being too insensitive or too simplistic?

 

Word to the O, sister

 

I seriously would love to review those states on rape statistics since I just took a class on ordinate variances and the effect they can have on samples and how they're computed. All though I agree you SHOULD be allowed to live in an equal society you WON'T. As far as I understand it rape is the over powering of one person over another to have sex. As long as women are generally weaker its a reality of your existence. Sorry I truly am and hoping all the bad guys are going to be locked up won't help you when you're in the moment of something happens.

If my home gets robbed and I'm there with my family it is my responsibility as a man to protect them. No excuses. Saying sorry after something devistating happens to them won't bring them back or take away the hurt but me being able to physically stop it will.

Its an unfortunate reality Trix

 

I have to say yes DK.

Rape as we all know is not a crime about sex or sexuality. It is a crime of violence. The clothes a women wears has very little to do with whether or not a man is going to rape her or not. It is more often a case of she was there so I did.

Walking alone on the street is one tiny slice of the pie. If it is about being alone and presenting a rapist with an opportunity to rape you, then women cannot answer the doors or their homes, order a pizza, have the cable guy come etc.
We have all heard the stories of women being raped in their homes by complete strangers.

Pixie is correct in saying most women and men are raped by someone they know. It is again sad but true. It does not need to be a familiar relationship, just a familirarity (if that makes any sense)

The sad but simple answer is this. If a rapist wants to rape you he will.

 

Word ? Why?

 

Cosign. Exactly. And since the majority of women know their rapists, you'd have to tell us never to trust men at all, not even those we love, and never, ever be alone with any man unless we want to have sex with him.

If it were a question of sexuality, then little girls and old ladies would never be raped. Women dressed in jeans and a tshirt would never be raped.

Unfortunately we live in a culture which minimizes rape. Rape jokes, using the word 'rape' to describe things like having to pay taxes, etc. That's not rape. Rape is a brutal crime, and in some ways an acquaintance rape is harder for a woman, because it leaves her questioning her own judgement. Unfortunately rapists don't wear neon signs.

 

And that, my darling man, is why I am a feminist.

 

This needs to be said far more because in my mind when I hear someone they knew I'm always thinking ex boyfriend or co worker or someone really ingrained in their lives not a casual aquaintance.
I never said anything about clothing I'm just saying to protect yourself accordingly. The world is a cold harsh place with very few pockets of safety and warmth and we need to be aware of that.
I just don't count on law enforcement or legislation to protect me. They are reactive rarely proactive. So what should one do in the mean time?

 

I also have to add that marches and such are not to stop men from raping. That simplifies the issue.

They are to empower victims and to educate the public about the crime of rape.

Because of the hang ups most western cultures have about sex and sexuality, we do not talk about healthy touch etc.

Getting a woman who was raised without parents who talked to her about sex to walk into a courtroom and explain in DETAIL what was done to her, her vagina and most likey her anus is a very high expectation.

If you can't say vagina in room full of people without giggling breaking out, how the hell do you expect someone to say it in front of 12 strangers. Therefore it goes unreported. Sad

 

In this particular situation I don't see how being a feminist helps your cause

 

I have to say Pixie, I think any rape makes a woman question her own judgement.

It shatters your belief in humanity and you start to wonder. What could I have done differently. if only i hadn't (insert anything here)

Once you are violated in such a way, nothing really makes sense anymore.

 

It raises awareness, it changes laws. Spousal rape was not a crime in many places until recently. Acquaintance rape? When I was a teenager, rape was ALWAYS the woman's fault, unless she was a young white Christian virgin raped by a black ex-con in an alley he dragged her into on her way home from church.

The more people understand what rape really is, and how little it has to do with sexuality, the more it becomes easier to convict rapists. The rate of reporting is low, the rate of arrest lower still, the rate of conviction lower than that, and the sentences imposed are generally jokes. But the victims still go through all sorts of innuendo and unpleasantness based on biased outmoded ideas like "well she had a short skirt, and besides, it's not like she was a virgin."

 

Yes, true, and that's the problem "What could I have done differently" isn't a fair question for a woman to feel she has to ask herself. What she could have done differently was to not be in the presence of a rapist, and as I noted before, unfortunately they don't come with neon signs.

 

I don't know DK. I wish there was a simple solution. I try to live my life with a no harm policy. I also try to educate people if I can in my own little way.

I do go to marches and stuff like Take Back the Night. As a woman an an ex law enforcement officer I know the system we have does not work.

I think we need better and earlier sex education in schools so that it is easier to have an open dialogue about sex.