women - do they really like men who are leaders

I have talked to women who were upset at their men because of one thing or another. One phrase usually come up is " he is always tell me what to do or I feel like Im losing my independence."

so tell me you say you want a leader but when he leads you get mad. so WTF.

I talked to a few women on this and they told me .... XYZ. I want to what yo guys state and if it matches and also tell me what you like about a man being a leader and describing it.

lets look at all faces of it and see what we can learn.

 

There is a difference between leading and telling someone what to do. There are leaders and then there are dictators, not a lot of people enjoy dictators.

I think in any realtionship each person should utilize their talents, so if I happen to be good with money and you aren't, then I should handle the finances. If you happen to be good with people and I'm not, you should handle the socialization aspects, i.e. neighbor relations, parties, etc. If each person contributes then it's a partnership, if one person's doing everything technically that's leadership, and if one person's ordering the other around it's a dictatorship. I have no interest in the later at all. My personal philosophy is lead, follow, or get out of my way. Meaning I have no issue with someone else leading as long as they are competent to do so, if they aren't then I am capable of assuming that role.

Honestly I find a lot of people just want everything done for them, they prefer as little responsibility as possible. However, they then wish to criticize or complain because they aren't in charge. If you expect me to handle your life, do not question the methods by which I do precisely that... say thank you and let it go. That's my only dislike on the subject of who leads in a relationship, you want to lead fine by me, just do a good job, otherwise leave it to someone who will.

 

I'm with you Espy. True leaders get people to follow them naturally.

There is a difference between a leader and control freak. I would never be in a relationship with a control freak. I prefer to be with a partner who has leadership qualities that he uses in aspects of his life but still loves me enough to ask my opinion on things that matter to us .

 

thats it in a nut shell for me.

i dont do well with being told what i can and cant do, where to go, what to wear, how to speak etc. a guy pulls that on me and its gonna be curtains real quickly

for me a relationships about coming to a compromise on issues that you differ on, working out a solution together, not one person saying "were doing it my way and thats the end of it". im not going to respect a man like that and without respect its all down hill

 

That does not sound like men who are leaders at all to me.. Just men who tell their women what to do. That is not a leader.
A leader is someone who people naturally follow, they dont have to tell people what to do, they inspire.

So, yes, if he is a natural leader, Im cool - if he bosses me around and is controlling - i.e., not a leader - nope.

 

AS the women said before- a leader is born to lead.

Of course a leader is attractive, they are very amazing personalities-as long as they are real and not any show-offs, who would like to posess that position.

And yes- I love them. They are very quiet, never talk loud, their strength comes from inside. People trust and rely on them. You can identify them immediatly.

 

Pretty sure women love leaders. Guys that take control (or the inishative) in many situations.

Also think you got "leader" and "controling ahole" mixed up.

 

I had this discussion a few times recently. I like when a guy takes control and I wouldn't mind following his lead, but like you said, there's a big difference. A guy who misconstrues the meaning can leave me alone. I'm not a doormat.

 

There is a huge difference between the two. Husband #1 was a massive control freak. It took me nearly 3 years to figure it out and stand up to him. He didn't like it. So, it was curtains for him.

Husband #2 was the exact opposite. He forced me to be the leader in the relationship all the time, which I hated. But we broke it off for reasons other than that.

I would definitely prefer to be with a natural leader for all of the reasons these lovely ladies have already stated about them.

 

It's not just women, people gravitate towards those who possess Alpha qualities. Whether female or male, people who fit the Alpha description tend to attract attention because they're very self-confident and usually easy to spot. You are right though that they tend to either provoke love or hate, almost no one has luke warm feelings towards an Alpha personality.

 

The single worst mistake a woman can make is to allow a simple ignorant man to be her leader.....And I would like to stress ignorant....for If he is ignorant and simple, he is void of wisdom and will be a horrible liability to her. His remarks and actions will be ignorant and simple, his judgment and foresight and values will be shallow and simple. So if you don’t look for more than a physical specimen who can service you with that dick, you are left with a simple ignorant man who will be intellectually stifling to you, who will embarrass and disrespect you frequently, who might not have the rationale to control his aggression and violence towards you and who might be too shortsighted, impatient and insensitive to understand your emotional needs. In the search for a man, it is well worth it to compromise some of your physical desires for wisdom in a man! Hold out for a man wise enough to fully assess and appreciate what he has in you as a woman.

 

well stated

 

You are on point with this....

 

i agree with this too

 

Thanks LB4U.

 

yes, lippy likes a man that is a natural leader...it is innate within him...he does so without effort...we don't talk about it...it's just there...something i admire...he may not even realize it himself because he is so humble...he doesn't realize that others look up to him...want to be more like him...learn from him...

to me this leader in my life is someone i can admire and feel proud to be with...it has nothing to do with control...he is a negotiator!

leading can be a wonderful quality:smt007

 

This would seem to be common sense Arch, but sadly it's apparently not. I would add that it doesn't solely apply to women, men and women should seek substance in the people they choose to associate with. Intrinsic qualities tend to remain largely stable throughout one's life, sometimes they may vary slightly but in my experience they are always subject to recall when prompted by another person of substance. Money, looks, power, fame, success, are all things that come and go. The transient nature of qualities such as that make it seem absurd to base your choices of friends, lovers, and spouses solely on them. I'm not saying people shouldn't be attracted to whatever they are attracted to, just that it would serve a lot of people well to look for deeper, more lasting qualities as well.

 

yes, that SHOULD be common sense. it's sad to say that the majority of people these days do not place any thought/value to this.

nice shoes BTW

 

Sorry- I identify a leader differently- I am not talking about the guys leading a street group or are the kings in a club. I am not in the high school league.

I am talking about people with real power- family members, government people or businessmen. They are not assholes- they are reliable, focused on their goal, very self confident and follow their own interpretation of honour.
You find them for sure in the legal and illegal world.


The rest you´ve said I can follow

BTW-
F...ing round with people or women isn´t a sign of a grown-up men, it causes too much trouble, what disturbs your business and your reputation. There are rules, even a leader has to follow, otherwise he won´t come into that position. The big step- some just don´t get it.

 

I did not come across the years and the miles to have another adult tell me how to live. A real leader doesn't have to bully and buffalo; he's a diplomat to take responsibility when things go wrong, give credit when they go right, and present ideas rather than brutally force them upon others.