why nice guys get dissed ?

Espy if it comes from you I'm so with it darling.

 

Ah now see that's a 'nice' response. I knew you had it in you sugar.

 

I completely agree with this.

Andrae, you are correct - absolutely - the 20 something crowd, is not a place I wish to revisit for any money in the world.... Plently of missguidedness there it gets better, you are smart - you will get out on top - I am sure

I think the 1000 foot picture is that men and women, of all ages really complain about the same thing....
Then you have the group that are shallow selfish twits - many very good looking people never have had a reason to develop any other attributes... (not all , please dont kill me, I say some of them).

Then you have the rest of us that got it together and are looking for the real thing... guess who is looking for who???

No wonder we have so many people that bitch about the opposite sex being crappy and selfish and superficial etc...
There is that dissconnect and that is why we get so many misses..

We just dont get the prime message:
What you want is not the same thing you NEED.

The sooner we get that, the better off we are.

 

Preach FG Preach. Great post ma

 

Not true!

Wrongo again, some look like a catalog model but very humble and down to earth

 

I completely agree. Great post! :smt023

We have to be true to ourselves first and foremost.

There is a difference between nice guys and chumps. (For lack of a better word, LOL). There is the nice guy who knows what he wants, treats women with respect and is a reliable person. Then there is the chump who has no self-confidence, and never stands up for himself with anything. THOSE are the ones that get dissed. Women don't want men who have no self-confidence.

But a self-confident nice guy? He'll get the woman every time. ;-)

 

Im just doing a lot of soulsearch myself afer my own relationship imploded..
this is aimed as much at myself as anybody else

I get off my soapbox now

 

absolutely, I just said - some -

:-D

 

Fam she said some and real talk some are humble but those are the exceptions but the rule is hotter the person less need to be anything else. Why do you think people are crazy surprised to see a woman who's a hot doctor. It's a general rule being hot and/or having money means having to work less to keep people in the room.

 

No stay there your insight is very appreciated.

 

Is this something you came to in later years or did you always believe this.

 

I've always believed this. However, I haven't always been able to distinguish the nice guys from the wolves in sheep's clothing, unfortunately. That was a hard lesson learned for me. But a lesson that WAS learned.

 

I didn't manage to forget married women, I'm talking about the Unmarried women that continue to complain there no good men available. Were talking about unmarried women not married women, why would we be talking about married women in successful relationships???????

When there (single women) list of demands are so high how can almost any one meet them, especially when 20% of the population is unemployed and many more MEN were let go than women?

I never said Adam was brilliant and he goes off the reservation at times, I just agreed with a rant he had about how some women continue with same behavior in their teens and early 20's into their 40's and 50's given rise to the Cougar movement.

 

His argument is that they seek bad boys because they are immature.

How many Women are marrying Bad Boys? None. Bad boys don't marry.

 

Swag you say? I don't think you can get more swag than being a Hip Hop DJ like I am, it worked at times, more often it didn't and that was by design, why do I need to be DJ to get laid????

Couldn't just be I was a nice guy, who didn't wait until three days went by before I called you after the first date? The guy that opened up your car door, the door to the restaurant and waited to for you to sit down before I did? Excused myself to use the bathroom? Asked what you wanted for a meal/drink remembered every detail and told the waiter/waitress, who returned with just what you wanted?

These are things nice guys do, but women increasing not just young women find BORING. They hate men that are late, but if your an asshole they will let that go, so you can complain about it and then complain again to their girlfriends so you can show them your life isn't boring either.

[YOUTUBE]<object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/Y6BF8DPtQNw&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/Y6BF8DPtQNw&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>[/YOUTUBE]

ON POINT

 

What I took from his statement was that women often pick the guys who offer more uncertainty to the ones who don't. Women love the excitement apparently. Again this is all pretty much my own life experiences talking. I'm thinking I need more experiences but I seriously wish more women would be honest about what's out there. Even though you might see yourself as the exception as many women do. Don't you see how shallow men and women have become? It's all superficial now. Again I acknowledge those who can look past material things for love but that's incredibly rare and now that I think about it it's all proportional to how lucky the other person feels to be with you.
Love is not out there for everyone, it's a very sweet thought but the reality is most never find it because most are too self centered or too blinded other bs to really see it.

 

I don't find that boring in the least.

In fact, I was taught to thank people who did such things and appreciate the extra effort.

Swag, to me, isn't about a guy's job. If you use your job to get ladies, you better have a decent personality to follow suit with, otherwise, what lady would stick around for a one-note wonder?

Swag, to me, is about what the guy can bring to the table emotionally, personality-wise, maturity, etc. Who cares what he does for a living? If he's boring to talk to, then what does it matter if his job is cool?

I didn't watch the video, btw. I may watch it if I'm bored tonight.

 

Andrae, your dating experiences make me sad. I know there are many, many shallow people out there, and they're only shallow because they haven't fully matured yet. You seem to run into a lot of bad apples.

But, those aren't a representation of ALL women.

Take it on a case by case basis. There are many decent women out there. Really.

 

thats debateable that they arent marrying bad boys--in the black community seems we arent marryingmuch at all these days, so we dont know who is marry bad boys or good guys.