why nice guys get dissed ?

I just wanted to know why nice guys get dissed and how can they clean up their image (sort of speak) ?

 

I think theres a difference between someone being nice and someone not having a backbone. I think some women think a guy being an asshole is cute. I think everyone likes a challenge, but that doesn't mean that someone who is nice, is going to get dissed. Women who attract assholes to me, have either Daddy/self-esteem issues or are immature. A woman in her right mind, doesn't want to be treated like shit. I think sometimes people equate a nice guy to being lame. Maybe they're lacking self confidence or they're trying to get with someone out of their league so-to-speak OR they're attracted to bitches.

 

i can cosign with that. I have seen some not so good looking guys and average money making guys have hot women ( sort of speak. hot looking is to someone perspective) .

im with you on the confidence issue.

i believe when it comes to confidence is that they are willing to say whats on their mind while being considerate.

 

Dont be a doormat. Women like an assetive man with confidence. Just make sure your clean and smell nice and someone will always want you.

 

This remdinds me of a friend of mine that was the perpetual friend to all women..
I think ther were several reasons for that.

Not particluarly good looking and not particularly in shape - that in combination with completely out dated clothes.. I think it was hard for him to make a first good impression.

No Im not superficial here but if you wear 20 year old clothes that are threadbare.. it leaves an additional ding on "talking care of yourself". Even if the clothes are clean , they are so washed out that you somehow come across as sort of unclean.

He was goofy (I found his goofiness completely charming and his strength)and always had that perpetual slobber in the corner of his mouth.

You canot be a better person than him and he always struck out and ended up being a friend - which he hated.

It was like his vibes were all about being your friend so I guess women somehow never felt that he was a possible mate.. I dont know.

He eventually on a few of us women friends request, started going to the gym - not to get in shape per se, but to build up his confidence.
We got him to update his bowl haircut and clothes a bit...just a bit.

and WHAM, all of a sudden, her carried himself COMPLETELY different, with much more confidence - still the same nice guy but now a MAN with confidence.

He got married 3 years ago with a woman 18 years his junior!!!!!!!!

 

hmm... what does he do for a living, and is his wife attractive?

 

He is an health care IT person (so no, he is not making particularly much money).. and she is 5'10 slim and blond and really pretty. She has a goofy side and appreciate his.
They really are a very good match.

 

wow, well thats definitely a story set in LA, cause that's some movie type -ish. anywhere else in america, that ending aint gonna happen. LoL!!

 

That was my thought as well and I was VERY suspicious and protective when they first went out. I was just assuming she would break his heart and I am very protective of him.

This is not in LA - this is in Houston where I used to live.. regular people, not plastic fake LA people. That would never happen here in LA.. people have agendas here - in general - you need to be pretty or rich...

It all makes sense when you see them together - they are truly cut from the same cloth.

 

hey, whatever works

 

haha, I LOVE that picture!!!!!!

yep, who am I to judge???

 

Wow you gotta love a story like that though. Gives me hope.

 

I have no doubt that you will find your happy ending.

 

I hope so. I know Shea getting here as fast as she can but sometimes it's hard to wait.

 

and just maybe, you are not ready yet? Maybe there are things you want to do first before that happens - or that is at least why I gather from your posts?

 

Your right. Just gotta master this patience thing lol.

 

brilliant :smt043:smt043:smt043

 

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I agree with Inner Beauty and Andrae, it's not about 'nice' guys getting dissed, it's about whether or not the guy has a backbone.
I do think that up to a certain age, a lot (not all, but a lot) of girls go through the phase of being attracted to a bad boy. And a lot of girls make the mistake of thinking that they can change a man. Some can, and I envy that to an extent, but I think a guy must be willing to change. Men talk about liking a challenge but women like a challenge too, and even when the rational and logical part of our brains is thinking 'This guy is an absolute arse. He has always been an absolute arse and he will always be an absolute arse,' the illogical part is going 'I can change him! I'm so special, he will change for me because he loves meeee!'

Yeah, I digress but honestly, there's a difference between 'nice' guys and guys that are absolute doormats. I know plenty of nice guys who have had healthy long term relationships, can take care of themselves and their woman, can stand up for themselves and are strong and masculine. They wouldn't ever disrespect a woman but they wouldn't be under the thumb, either.
And then I know a couple of guys who just take shit. A lad I'm going to be living with next year is coming on 24 and has never had a girlfriend. He has the kindest heart you could ever imagine but he is such a pushover. He lived with three girls last year and as soon as they clicked their fingers (anything from 'will you go to the shop for us??' to 'i hate this guy, he's such a prick, come and watch movies with me, comfort me and listen to me cry and tell me what a dick he is and how great I am!') he just did everything they asked. Because of this, he's ended up with a harem of female friends and not one girlfriend so far.