why? ....just out of my curosity (sorry for any misspellin)

Actually, I am very sensitive to the fact that women are raped more than what is reported and I could understand it if a woman was not so trusting of men in general because of the abuses that go on whether or not if she was raped herself.
Would I like it if she called me a rapist? No.
I would cut her some slack because men do rape women [not all men].
If after she has gotten to know me and she still lumped me into the rapist group… I would have a problem with that because there comes a point were you have to move forward.

All I’m saying or trying to say is, we [all of us] can not live today with having “lived” yesterday.
We learn from the generation that came before us, both the good and the bad and we should work to keep the good things that they’ve done and not repeat the bad things.

I was never a slave as you’ve never owned a slave however this country as well as others used slavery to help build it. And many ideas about black people came out of that and they have been past down from one generation to the next. And because of America’s place as a world power, many of those ideas have been “exported” to other counties and cultures. However things get better as each new generation comes up BUT we can not forget what happened to our forefathers because I really believe it would happen again if we do. We fail both ourselves and the next generation if we don’t learn from it.

Understand that I [and I think 99.9% of the black men here] hold no ill will against you or 99.9% of the women here but we are all here because of the people that came before us.

I don’t know if I’m communicate my thoughts well but at least we are talking…
:wink:

 

not even arguing with u sardonicgenie

appreciate the input silvercosma and designer

 

I believe that there is a line between common sense and irrational behavior. Common sense dictates to be careful whenever you are dealing with any stranger because you can never know what they are up to, be it a woman or a man. Common sense is also to consider the fact, that, dispite high rape rates, and high crimes rates in general, the number of men, and people in general, who never did and probably never will do any harm to another person exceed the numbers of those who will. But to suffer from sexual/mental disorder or to develop some random, diffuse hatred because of some general crime reports is, imo, even beyond irrational.

Yes, I guess here we agree, the line between common sense and irrationality. So what would you tell irisrett, who is married to the man who still lumps her into a certain group?

100% agreement!

yes, but people forget, eg. that Americans were not the originators of slavery, but took advantage of a system of exploitation that was already an established and accepted custom long long before Europeans sailed to African shores and long long before they needed slaves to built the "new world". I firmly believe that in order to prevent history to repeat itself, one has to understand history, and in order to understand history, one has to try to get to the very bottom, to the very beginnings of history to find out why it was possible that certain kind of things could happen. For instance, it would be too simple to say that the reason why the "Third Reich" happened was because Germans are anti-semites. While it was symptomatic, it wasn't the reason, and it wouldn't give any answers to questions such as why neo-nazies are now on the rise in eastern regions of Germany. But if you go back to the roots, and realize all the collateral circumstances (inferiority complex due to the lost war, great depression, famine, high unemployment rates, low educational level, and a powerhungry megalomaniac who reinstalled some kind of "German pride" and "unity" by creating a scapegoat based on a racist concept and who promised the paradise to anyone who jumps on the anti-semitic bandwagon) then one will realize why it happened, why it still happens and what countermeasures have to be applied to fight it. One will further be able to recognize when, where and by whom similar tactics are used. (NOTE before people misinterpret me: All those things are merely explanations, and can never ever be used as excuses!) But well, I think that the bottom line is that I basicly agree with you, that "We fail both ourselves and the next generation if we don’t learn from it".

Yes, thank god! We would miss out a lot of wonderful men if this wasn't the case!

It's good to know that there are still men on this board who rather talk with us than about us! I really appreciate it!

 

Don't expect you to, but here's what I think you should've did instead. Address your concerns to YOUR HUSBAND about the film, instead of making a thread about it on the Internet, implying that most black people in America are just holding on to the past somehow, when you already mentioned that he was joking about the comments he made to you when you were both watching it. He probably assumed that you wouldn't take it so personally, and thought that it wouldn't bother you, but since it did (which is understandable) you should've told him that, and explained why. That's why I wrote the responses to you that I did. I also wanted to see how you would respond back to me as well.

 

:smt071 :smt072 :smt066 :smt068 :smt070 :smt042

 

:smt045 wow it was a nice day here yesterday hope everyone else had one to.. :smt023

 

ok, I take it you are white and have a black husband/bf.
To answer your question seriously, as a WW myself, coz it is a serious question, let me quote African American woman Saidiya Hartman, in regard to "why bring up... blah, blah"

"Each generation feels anew the yoke of a damaged life and the distress of being a native [born in America] stranger [in America]."

Black people are living in the future created by slavery. "The ongoing crisis of citizenship, the disparity between the "ideal of freedom" and the "fact of blackness" are as relevant today" as they were during slavery.

Think about that.

You owe it to yourself - as a human being as well as a white woman - and everyone else to read up about history and YOUR - OUR - ancestor's involvement in slavery and oppression. It doesn't matter if it happened a long time ago, the present has been dictated by the past. Only by acknowledging the past AND the present can you help build a better future. And grow as a person.

I can only assume that taking that journey will bring you much closer to your husband than you could possibly imagine.

 

:smt038 well said

 

why, thank you ladebabern :smt001