Why is it that BM who date WW in the south lose all their "brotha points"

Hey wassup everyone?

I'm new to this whole forum stuff....but i figured that this site has some good ways to open up discussions.

But anyways, I from SoCAL and Palm Beach Florida and I go to college in Atlanta. When, I lived in Cali and FLA, from what I've seen and experienced, it's never really been an issue to see brothas date vanillas. Pretty much, Ive been used to seeing people of different backgrounds being friends and having relationships. With that said, I rarely saw brothas lose thier credibility when they chose to have a relationship with a white girl. However, when I chose to study in Atlanta, i thought that it really wouldn't be an issue due to the fact that it' has one of the largest populations of brothas. However, i've noticed that ever since I came to Atlanta, a lot of the black girls (i'm not trying to gerneralize) have given my and my friends issues for us to hang out with white girls. We enjoy hanging out with everyone, but when we go to many different colleges throughout Atlanta, black girls usually ask we are dancing with white girls, rolling to the parties with white girls...and so on. Race really isn't an issue to me because I come from a bi-racial family. But it seems to me if your a brotha who hangs out with white girls or even decides to date on...you lose your brotha points with the black girls. However, A lot of the black dudes i know don't mind.

 

That's just how a lot of BW are. Especially in areas that have high concentrations of blacks like Atlanta.

Same can be said for WW who hang w/ and/or date BM. Some WM will give them shit for it.

 

They can have my "brotha points". I'd still be with WW anyway so I really don't see a drop-off as far as my own personal satisfaction is concerned.:smt003

 

welcome to the forum, remember this is WWBM so we dont really care if we lose brotha points with the sistahs

i grew up in the South, i know what you mean. But the flip side is even if you dont date white women(i was at an HBCU)in Jackson Mississippi, the sistahs if they dont think you are what is popular wont give you the time of day, then when you do start dating a WW, the sistahs all up in your face about leaving your race.

just do what you enjoy doing, if they sisthas arent paying your way through school or own you then you will be just fine

 

Word.

 

Just a couple of days ago I came across a blog post (which I can't find right now) in which a black woman explains why she is against interracial dating. What she said was the black men who date white women lose credibility in the black community because that man is dating a woman whose people oppressed blacks. She stated that "I don't want to hear anything about racism from you if you are sleeping with the enemy".

That is what someone said on the issue. I would guess that most famous black freedom fighters then become irrelevant since most of them did date white women.

 

[sarcasm]She just mad 'cuz didn't nobody want her or her man is on the DL. [/sarcasm]:smt048

 

I have a problem with the whole "my people" thing.

First of all, I don't have any people... well I have a son, so I guess he's "my people". To my knowledge my family did not own slaves nor have anything to do with slavery (we were farm workers on the NE of Scotland). My family we're pretty lower-middle class so wouldn't have been able to afford them and most of them were actually servents. I don't know anything about my dad's family but I know there is some Dutch and Asian in there, somewhere. I'm pretty sure they didn't have anything do with slavery either. Even if they did though, why is this reflected upon me? I am not responsible for what any other white person has done. In that case, am I responsible for Jeffrey Dahmer killing all those boys? Am I responsible for Baby P's mother neglecting her son? No, of course not! It's stupid. That really irks me when people say that. Gahhhhh.

People are individuals and should be treated as such. Even if my brother was some KKK member (which he def isn't) that would have 0 to do with me.

 

i didnt knw we get points for being black

 

She sounds like someone who is trying to make black men her scapegoat because she either can't get a man, or keep a man.:smt042

 

:smt081

 

BTW, here is the article I mentioned earlier in this thread: http://blackconsciousthought.blogspot.com/2009/06/are-you-still-black-if-you-marry-white.html

 

That's what I was guessing,too. I know the situation in the South used to be way worse than elsewhere.I guess some ppl see black guys dating a white woman as traitors or something. I can't really judge it though living all the way in Europe and jut hearing and reading stuff online.
How is it conversely? Do black women in the South also lose their "sister" points when dating a white guy?

 

No kidding, do ww get sister points? Can I trade them in for an hour on a seadoo?

 

I can see it now:

Athena to seadoorenterperson
- I have 14 ww points, can I trade that in for an hour on a seadoo?
- Have they been validated up at the ww point office?
- No, I just thought I could trade them in right here, no?
- You have to pay taxes on those at the ww point office, you know. After taxes, you really only have 9 ww points left - you can have this broken fin for that.
- never mind, I go to the bar now
- they dont take ww points

 

It's all perception.

SOME (and I preface this by saying SOME) sistas feel uncomfortable with the idea of dating WM; combine that with the fact that many WM are sketchy about approaching BW for various reasons and you have a situation where SOME BW feel "left out" and rather than admitting that, they project outward.

I don't believe that WW love BM significantly more than WM loving BW (maybe just a little..LOL!) but because men typically approach women and most brothas are not particularly concerned with what others think...we take more chances and therefore succeed more often. It's like basketball; if Kobe shoots the ball 5 times...he likely won't score as much as if he shot 30 times in a game (We call that "volume shooting").

For BW, the experience is different. WM directly abused, raped and violated their grandmothers, great-grandmothers etc. BM were not DIRECTLY harmed as a group by WW. Most lynchings of times past actually had little to do with WW. It usually began as a dispute or a case of a WM having a bone to pick with a BM that had an ounce of racial pride. WW were often used as the mascot to organize a large mass of WM into action to participate. That doesn't mean all WW were innocent....it just means that the latent hostility and uncertainty that exists with BW and WM is less impactful amongst BM and WW.

 

Completely agree.

 

Hmmm.. food for toughst indeed...

But you brougt something else up:

Do you think bm have more confidence as a whole - when it comes to women, than wm do?

 

:smt043:smt043:smt043

 

BW never use the oppression angle when their sisters are with WM.