Why is he lieing to me?

Of course!

 

I am just saying that for ME, a man without a job is a a red flag for me. I have had bad experiences with men (in the past) who were unemployed. I am not trying to be rude or shallow.

 

In these times, people are often unemployed through no fault of their own. If you know that he is unemployed because he has no desire to get a job or he's just a slacker and repeatedly loses jobs or wants to be a kept man, that's understandable. I just feel it was a little insensitive to say something like that unless you know the person and his situation (and maybe you do, but still just seemed wrong). If Gorath wasn't offended, then I guess we can shut this conversation down. Carry on.

:smt109

 

It wasn't condecending. It is realistic. In my situation, one has to recognize reality for what it is. I had mentioned before that I do not know when I will be back on my feet again. Employers around here look at my resume and I don't ever hear from them again. Or when an employer says,"Apply online," I know it is a brush off, imho. But, someday, that will change. Women don't want to financially support men, either in dating or marriage. I don't want to be an inconvenience to a woman, or anyone else, for that matter.

 

Who said anything about supporting you? Aren't you managing to support yourself right now? There are plenty of things to do for fun that are inexpensive or free. You're a movie buff and I'm betting you own tons of them. And you likely eat meals to survive. How about collaborating on a meal, jazzing it up with some candles and mood music and watching a movie together? Going to the park and throwing Frisbee, or go to the beach. A lot of museums are free, window shopping at a local mall, etc. You keep painting yourself into a corner....

 

This.

Btw...great free ideas! Museums, parks, beach....all excellent!

The point of dating is spending time together and getting to know each other. None of that costs money. Some people have such crazy ideals of what a date should entail, that they lose sight of what's really important. I think men would be surprised to find out how many women would actually enjoy one of the options mentioned above, over some fancy dinner.

 

I know that there are other things to do out there. Miami has a lot of things for people to do for recreation. I am on food stamps. I get 200.00 a month. No cash. I live in a condo that my father owns(it is in a 55 & older unit). The place is falling apart. I'm not in a corner. I am in MY corner, making do with what I have. And I am seeking and waiting for a way out. I'd go as far as signing up to work onboard transoceanic freighters(the money is really good). I have a friend who knows someone who is aboard a ship. He can't reach him. But, it is a possibility. I can take care of myself. I had been doing it for years. I just don't go out to the beach or other places. I go only to the library, a casino and one strip club. I am merely a creature of solitude.

 

And yet you are waiting for a woman to walk into your life...and promised God if she doesn't do so by 50, you'll give hoping. My dear, can you see how self-defeating that is?? I believe in miracles and a God who provides them. But I also believe we have to be open to them. God can drop that woman or that job in your lap - he absolutely can and he may. But it's not likely. You need to position yourself to receive what you hope for and/or need.

What about signing up with a temp agency? If you're able-bodied and can work, they will put you to work. And if you REALLY hope to meet a woman, expand your world. Go to the beach, go to a park, go to a museum. A very wise friend asked me once (when I said "Of course I believe God has a partner for me"): Do you REALLY believe what you say you believe? I had to think about that.

 

i know guys that went out, got a skill/trade, and been working with temp agencies making very good money

do a good job and ull be a good candidate to get a stable gig

 

Not only that, it's been shown that people who languish on unemployment for a long time start doubting their abilities and lose their skills. I'm glad I temped - kept my skills current.

 

seriously

i know where i work, temp jobs dont get benefits and stuff, but if its that bad, the states have like subsidized/affordable health care plans

sitting around with nothing coming in isnt good

if u get disability or something, that's another story and not as bad

 

Agreed. Some of my best employees came to me as temps and they were so good I bought out their contract and hired them on FT. It's a great way to get your foot in the door somewhere.

 

especially at hospitals

they're like societal microcosms, having just about any job/trade involved as u can imagine

security, electricians, CNAs, maintenance/plumbing, housekeeping

 

i also know where i work, age/ability gets offset to a degree using younger employees

we kinda expect to help older workers and not really look for someone whos 50+ to be as physical as someone younger

so we find other ways for them to 'pull their weight'

 

I was entitled to UC but I didn't want to just sit at home and collect it. Seemed wrong, somehow, particularly since my skills can be used almost anywhere. It might be different if you are in a specialized industry. And my temp agency (not sure if all) offered a very basic insurance plan.

 

Once again, I am glad you weren't offended, and don't think I was being condescending. I wouldn't exactly say that you would be an inconvenience to a woman. That's taking it a bit far. Why don't you pm me your private email address. I have been living in S. Florida for a long time, and I have a few ideas on how you can possibly gain some employment. It's all about networking. What is your background?

 

now this i can roll with, shawty

i owe a lot of my successes in life to networking/charisma/personality

bottom line..even with education/experience, no one is obligated to give you employment

 

This is so cool. Too many companies only look out for the bottom line. I worked for a bank about 10 years ago, and they believed in helping employees improve. All those in senior managment had a responsibility to work with those in their departments to motivate and help them along in their career path even if it meant a move from their department.

 

love him or hate him, our manager does believe in 'role players' and the whole one-team, one objective philosophy

the work still gets done..and we're good at it, so nothing is really being affected

mind you we do have some wicked 50+60 year olds that can set a pace

but u know..as he told me one time...we all grow old (common sense), and will eventually benefit from such practices

 

we also do the same for pregnant workers and people with illnesses

we had one woman with MS who worked with us, so we tried to look out when we could

again...it's healthcare..so u kinda expect at least a basic level of compassion

lol