Why do white girls/black guys....

...get into a relationship even if they know that their family will never accept it?
Ive always wondered this?Ive talked to alot of white girls who admitted being attracted to black men(but had to keep it on the down low infront of their male friends and family members) and stated "i would date a black man,but would never marry".Alot of girls from different ethnic backgrounds say this tok,so,then whats the point?The whole purpose of dating is to find a lifelong compatible person you click with,which will eventually lead to marriage.Whats the point of dating then?Say a white girl meets a black man and she falls head over heels for him.They date (on the down low from family members) for about a year or 2....but then whats next?Alot of black guys find themselves in this type of situation,where the white girl is scared to introduce him to her parents.To me,this type of relationship is nothing but a waste of time.
Do these types of women feel as if they have to be in a "relationship" so that they wont feel like sluts when they have sex or something??

 

Some are simply not exclusive to black men like a good number of women on this site. It's all about compatibility for the most part.

 

I agree with u, its a waste of time! I wanna get married to a black man. I wanna have mixed kids!!! And I know, my dad wont accept this. but what can I do??? I cant marry a white guy just to please my dad.Coz its me who gonna live with him, sleep with him and have kids....it doesnt mean I dont respect my dad's opinion! of course I do, and I really wanna please him...but....i dont know, its a very difficult situation!!!! I just hope when I ll find someone I fall in love with, my dad will see how much am I happy and he will change his mind.

 

interesting topic...

at some point or another, external family gets involved with our lives, but how would they feel about our choice of partners?

We all know that whoever you decide to marry is going to be your problem, and your responsibility, not theirs.

my aunt is very liberal and promotes interracial coupling (she dated a white guy in college)..

my father doesn't care who i'm with as long as it ain't another dude..

the rest of my family would probably severe most of their ties with me.

some of that has to do with the era they grew up in, and the other reasons have to do with various current social issues...

If I like you, I like you, and that should be it....

I never let color stop me from dealing with whomever.

 

I've actually been in this situation many a time. For me, it always comes to the importance of your own personal happiness. Family is important, yes, but if they truly loved you then they would not only accept, but also welcome the people that you love and think will make you happy. When a family member or friend attempts to force their requirements of happiness on you, doesn't that just defeat the entire point. Telling someone what should or shouldn't make them happy is both controlling and overbearing, not to mention not their business.

At the end of the day, each and every person has to ask themselves, "Am I making the decisions in my life that will lead to my happiness?" If they can't say yes to that, they owe it to themselves to make some changes.

 

My father is totally against it, but i couldn't care less. I don't associate with him anyway. This is my life, not his. My mom is kind of different, in that she doesn't care if i date & marry IR, as long as i'm not solely exclusive to ww. I guess she has this thing in her mind where she feels like me being exclusive is some kind of self hatred or something. I debate with her about this all the time, but what's the use. I'm not exclusive anyway, but i do like and prefer ww. I think there's a difference.

Oh well, make a long story short, i'm glad that i wasn't raised in a really strict household, that put pressure on me as to who i should bring home. But even if it was the other way around, and i had no family support for it whatsoever, i seriously doubt that it would make one bit of difference. I have my own mind, and can think for myself. Whoever i choose to date/marry is purely a decision that i make on my own, and it will never have anything to do with what my family thinks is best for me.

 

Unfortunately you get those people who worry about pleasing their parents feelings more than their own feelings. I remember when watching an episode of sex and the city where samantha was daing a black guy whos' sister didn't approve and in the end the brotha dumped her just to please his sister. Also on that show "the practice" the IR couple broke up because she didn't want to offend her jewish religion by not marrying someone jewish. happen in real life of course as to where they got that from.

Some people have to wake up and realize that hate is hate, and that is the problem some people become blind when it comes to their own family doing the hate and love them so much they don't see what they are doing is wrong and wind up when they do listen to that hatred coming out of their family and leaves their relationship they still wind up hurt. But the hurt have to be on them as well for overall speaking siding with hatred instead of love.

I of course I have haters in my family but it is like luther vandross say, I believe in the power of love. Family will love us unconditionally, but they will never fill that intimate feeling of love. You have to do that yourself and make sure it is what your! feelings want not someone else's.

 

I always say never say never. As in you'll never know who you'll end up falling for. In some instances, it may be someone of a certain color that your family may not approve of. In this situation, I feel that a person should do what makes them happy. They should grow up a little and realize that they can't always please thier parents or anyone else for that matter. People should be with who makes them happy. A person's parent's aren't going to live that said person's life.

You mentioned people who would date but wouldn't marry outside of their race. In response to this, I say peep the sig(and no, it's not to be a smart aleck). If you are truly attracted to certain types of people, then why sell yourself short because you're worried about what somebody else has to say? What is this, a kindergarten playground? I'm just talking in general here. If somebody is that scared, they shouldn't be in the IR scene in the first place. Can't stand the heat, then go sit by the AC. Go sip a Coke under the apple tree. Go do something as long as you're not in the kitchen.

Once again, not directed at anyone. I'm just speaking in general.

-ShockValue
My quote for the day.

 

Hey Bryant, you should've consulted with me before you started posting my "baby's mama" on your post! :twisted:

 

I agree 100%....I have never understood when BM or WW or anyone else says...."I'll date one but I'd never marry one." Their hearts aren't really into IR....they just want to see what pink nipples, black d***s or brown p*****s look like.....but sometimes it seems that they are truly interested in people of other races but instead of admitting it...they hide behind meaningless words like the quote I used earlier.

If someone is just curious....that's understandable....but people shouldn't deprive themselves of something they really want long-term....no one can live your life for you.

 

Hey Intriguedone, like i said, whenever you wanna step out back and settle this dispute once and for all over Miss Alba, "My Baby's Mama" then let's do it! LOL :twisted: . :smt062 :smt071 :smt072

 

Ooooooooh can I watch??? But please both of you have to take of your shirts please...

 

Ooooooooh can I watch??? But please both of you have to take of your shirts please...

 

Of course!! But how can i be assured that you'll be there?? lol

 

Oh handsome Bryant... the promise of YOU without a shirt will bring this Chigirl out of hiding. Promised

 

Chi - can you talk him into getting muddy? :twisted:

 

ohhh man, now that is just an offer that i can't refuse! how could i possibly say no to that. i'm hitting the weight room right now, so i'll be ready!

 

Chi can probably talk me into anything lol

 

YES and YESSSSS lol

 

There's no way i'm getting muddy, unless Chi is in there with me. So if you're in Chi, we've got a deal then!