who is your ideal partner?

I can't speak for Nicole or Ches..but I took both the original statement and the co-sign to mean more than just physical protection. Women sometimes need mental or emotional or spiritual protection too.

In other words:
Please don't mentally mind fuck us (in a bad way)
Please don't use us or otherwise break our hearts
Be our confessor every once in a while. Someone we can just spill our internal crap to without judgement or payback.

 

Yeah I definitely didn't read it that way. What you said sounds more like just being a good partner which I thought goes without saying. Most people don't seek out to be abusive so saying don't mind fuck me or don't throw my deepest secrets back in my face don't really need to be said. It's like telling a significant other not to slap you across the face, does that really need to be said? What Nicole said and the way Ches cosigned it suggests being kept safe from harm which is what women usually mean. That's why so many of them love big men or men withh money. It offers security which I don't blame them for but since I was a little kid I thought women who could take care of themselves was hot. I loved women like Xena, China O'Brian, Buffy, Dark Angel, Trinity (ideal in every way). True independence is hot. I think being around the chicks in my crossfit class has totally been changing my views on women. There are a lot of strong capable women who don't need shit from a guy they just want a good partner. That's ideal.

 

It's a concept that apparently still escapes you. I have been on my own for 16 years now, raised a child with little help. I'm hardly a simpering female that can't take care of herself.

We just don't view relationships the same way and never will.

 

Dude you said you want to be protected and went on to say that's how women are wired. Do you know what protected means? Or maybe you're working under a different definition.

No one said you aren't capable I just don't get what you mean by protected.

 

It's probably more of an illusion than an actual action. I think everyone wants to feel "safe" with their partner, whether physically or emotionally. And we look for things in that persom that signal that "safety" to us. You, for instance, fear a woman who puts undue importance on money. So you will feel "safer" with a woman who has money herself and has little need to rely on you financially. Everyone's "safe" is different.

For whatever reason, a bigger, (not necessarily muscular), tall guy makes me feel more feminine and "sheltered" or "protected," and when wrapped in his arms, I feel "safe.". I look for someone who will share the burden, because I've spent alot of time shouldering things alone. That kind of guy signals that to me. He could be the biggest wimp or the most selfish guy in the world, but his size gives the illusion of strength and protection and masculinity that i look for.

I was going to add that I'm older than you and have a more traditional view of relationships and the roles men & women play, but remembered that Nic expressed the same sentiment about feeling protected in the original post. :smt102

 

Straight, Loving, Loyal, Nurturing, Kind, Caring, Intelligent, Soft, Feminine, Classy, Not Loud, Educated, Stays in Shape

 

Yeah, I didn't mean it only physical. The thought of physical protection didn't even come up. That's what I meant by, "the main thing I'd look for in a partner is if they could handle protecting the girl that wants to protect the world". I'm obviously not physically protecting the entire world, hehe.

Buffy and Dark Angel were sexy as heck! :smt007

Agree with this The safety isn't only physical. My best guy friend here is a BM that's a full foot taller than me, and huge (muscle-wise). He's terrified of the worst area in DC while I want to go for a walk there. He said he'd drive there but not walk. Friendly giant. A hug from him makes everything in the world feel "right" again even if he couldn't/wouldn't physically protect me.

I take on a lot of things, especially with the deaf community back home... to me, someone 'protecting' me would be a person telling me not to give in when it seems like nothing will change. Be there for the pitfalls, as well as the success. I don't see too many people sticking around in the 'bad' times anymore and that's key.

 

I guess its a difference of discourse because your definition of protection sounds more like support which I agree with.

 

Well firstly, he has to be a man not a little boy who doesn't know what he wants. Good sense of humour, affectionate, happy, caring, prefer that he has kids so he understands my situation.