White women who go with black men have 'daddy issues'...

my sister to the tee . me, once I came out with my preference after my divorce my dad was made, but I am a grown woman and will date whoever thw hell I want. my father and i have always had a horrid relationship and I am from outside the US.

 

Something to think about...

Every 2 minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted.

Each year, there are about 213,000 victims of sexual assault.

1 in 3 women will have been beaten, raped, or coerced into sex in her lifetime.

With those kind of numbers, you will be hard pressed to find a person who hasn't been through some kind of horrific trauma.

It's a whole lot less about a failing of women than it is about the failing of men in the world. Food for thought.

 

So, I'm with a BM because I never knew my daddy, well damn! at least now I know, right? All this time I thought it was because I was in love him or something. I'll have to break him the bad news. Sorry babe. :smt102

 

sad but true...on a side note, i have to say i was always a daddy's girl and still am to this day...i never wanted to disappoint him but when he did become disappointed in some of my choices i was close enough to him to be able to show/tell him that it was more about his beliefs than mine...he sees the world changing...he knows that things are different then when he was growing up...

saying that women who date bm have daddy issues would be like trying to tell people that choose same sex relationships that they have god issues...i don't believe that for a second...

 

I think many women would date men that they tend to share similarities with.Vice versa for men. It hardly has to do with colour most of the time.

Sometimes, I think America has become too polarised along racial lines that it is sometimes hard to see what seems very obvious. Socio-economic factors, class, plays a major role in some of these unions.

Rupert Murdock's daughter, Elisabeth, was once married to Elkin Kwesi Pianimwas, a Ghanaian.The current Managing Director of World Bank, Ngozi Iweala's daughter is married to a white guy. He flew into the country with other white boys from privileged families.

Many times experiences growing up in the same neigbourhood, attending the same school, aspirational goals, social experiences, all determine your choice of a spouse. It is hard to interpret it specifically as some girl trying to get at her dad, or somebody trying to marry up.

I think it explains why some posters found it hard to believe on some other thread that a 'simple' Nigerian could be dating an Irish beauty queen. I am hoping as other people come with different perspectives on life, and as they share their personal experiences, we would all learn and grow from the diversity of opinion.

There is this idea that a white woman is a prized asset, and not a human being, or like everyone else. There is this implicit idea that if you are 'lucky' with a white woman, something must be wrong somewhere. Either the white woman is a damaged good, or you must be exceptionally gifted in some area somehow.

If you want to date a white woman, and you meet those that say they are interested in you, stop hallucinating about your good fortune, and stop the pseudo- psychological assessment that has no basis in reality. It is what it is, people are people everywhere.

The more 'different' people learn about each other, the more they realise they have many things in common, hence their curiosity, interests, and dating. At least, I can say, I have learn't about commonalities across culture just being on this site. People should stop building fences of illusion where none exists, or where probably they need to be mowed/broken down.

Below is the video of the traditional wedding of the daughter of the Managing Director of World Bank that I talked about:

[YOUTUBE]4CscZM7LIoM[/YOUTUBE]

Here is another link to Elizabeth Murdock's first marriage:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elisabeth_Murdoch_%28businesswoman%29

These unions are increasing in modern times.

 

This is a classic ww/bm.com 'stereotypes are b.s. cause its not that way with me thread'.

 

I agree 100%. I just dont think an individual claiming the opposite in their personal life proves or disproves anything unless somebody is claiming that ALL fall into that stereotype. Then again, maybe this fictitious person IS claiming that :smt102 so what do I know

 

My opinion on the daddy issues stereotype is.. it probably applies in some cases.

In America, most of the stigma attached to someone interested in interracial dating lies in the fear of what other's around them will think. A woman who cant stand or wants to rebel from the most influential person in her family(father) will likely make choices that dont consider his worst fears. Whether it be racial isues, style of dress, tattoos, piercings, drugs, lifestyle etc.. Its simple really.

On the flip side you have women that are simply STRONG and are willing to deal with the consequences of their family and peer's dissatisfaction. Especially those who PROUDLY raise bi-racial kids in the face of adversity. And other women who are blessed enough to grow up in accepting environments.

Ive dated women on both ends of the spectrum.

Now what percentage of interracial relationships involve this stereotypical scenario? Who the hell knows. But it damn sure isnt most or all so its not worth addressing IMO. Its up to you to choose a woman who makes rational choices and isnt conflicted with rebellion.

 

Thanks Tam for the positive reinforcement. You would never know how much I adore you.

It is a bit alarming for me to see that people that live in sophisticated societies like United States allow some of these stereotypes affect them. Yes, stereotypes exist, and it is not that they are not true, but they exist because is the mind's dirty way of quickly coming up with clues and answers that it sometimes takes years to acquire on an individual level. It is why we have categories, the boxes we tend to sort things into.

Now look at that video I put up there. For most westerners, it takes you back more than hundred years. Most folks that even live in urban ghettos don't exist that way. Yet, you see some Nigerians in that picture have risen above that and are now competing with the best in the world. Their kids have gone to the best colleges and dating and marrying kids from well to do families in America and across the world.

They are not limited by their fat noses. They are not limited by their accent .They are not limited by the ancient villages they come from. They have refused to let it define them, or someone else's idea or conception of the world have a say in their personal goals or aspirations. I used to think this was all the American dream was about. The ideals of being American and the realisation of those ideals in one's personal lives.

But it is funny how people allow wacko literature in some academic institution on urban studies, some urban myths and all manner of stereotypes define who they are and what they can be. A foreigner most times, especially people from less privileged societies see through these madness called stereotypes not because they possess any intelligence but because it is gut instinct pure and simple. And they are blind to these so called studies and myths.

I think being American holds more promise than any being any other nationality in the world. And Americans should celebrate that everyday of their lives. It is why there is a net gain of immigration. A British hops on the plane and wants to be American. A swede hops on the plane and wants to be American. Even their next door neigbours, Canadians end up there. It is irrelevant these countries claim more social benefits, better quality of life. Somehow, America is still the ideal, yet it is hard to believe why some Americans have become very cynical about many things in their country.

Anyway....let me stop here. I have already written another long thesis. I guess I should be here searching for that beautiful white American woman that would make my personal ideal possibly, so I can smooch my life away with pleasure, and without any care for negative commentators

 

I'm understanding your words of wisdom and I'll eventually be able to overcome the stereotypes. I know anyway that whites (especially white youth) will become a minority percentage within 20 years. For the white youth, they will become a minority by the end of this decade. I have already conducted the research on that.

If you looked at the site I posted up, I don't allow that stereotype to get to my head, the girls there have demonstrated that they can overcome racism/prejudice from their dads, even though the site is part of a porn network. If they could do it, maybe I could do it too.

Post Edit: I think that the correct thing is that the girls dont' have an inherent dislike for their dads, initially. I think the dislike began when the dads realized that the girls were talking to black guys. You have to think about relations between white men and black men in America. Some of them, you can get along with, and some you can't. With the ones you can't get along with, you have to suck it up and deal with it.

 

That makes sense. Also, I haven't seen you say anything negatively about white guys since you've been here, so I guess you prefer black guys out of genuine interest and not because of some other reason, like others in the world/Texas may think, unknowingly. I noticed there was a thread on topix that stated there is grief even when a white guy dates an Asian woman, here:

http://www.topix.com/forum/news/sex/T1PH1AI4PPA5CMF08

I think it's also important to acknowledge that there are people out there that don't like interracial relationships at all (regardless of the combination), but we can ignore them because the pendulum will swing in our favor as time passes on, so think of it in this sense. As every day passes on, tolerance for what we want increases bit by bit. Also, I was thinking of this. Suppose that a skinny BM dates a bigger BW, and they are in a public place. Do you think that people that are around would still make complaints about that kind of relationship? I'm not trying to make this into a obesity thread, just stating something that I think is obvious.

 

I'd give you some rep if I could. :smt023

 

I haven't read all the replies, so if I'm repeating something, please forgive me, but in my opinion, I think a lot of women have daddy issues who date both intra and interracially. It's not exclusive to just WW who date BM.