White women are taking all the "good" black men...

Re: Strereotypes and Myths

Good advice.

 

Which is why you spend how much time here on moral patrol? I can think of a place for you to go which would be a more appropriate substitute to fill your life with... :lol:

 

Stereotypes.

The mirror..............

 

Oh hell no. This little newbie did not just say this to us.

 

I am going to add my 2 cents to this discussion: There are BM who are married to BW such as Donovan McNabb and Grant Hill. Where are those BW who complain about brothas who date WW that don't think about them? They have always been there, have been too busy focused on BM who are with WW. Do they want BM all to themselves?

I am so tired of this argument from some BW. I do understand that they want to find a good man; those women should expand their horizons and consider dating non BM too. There are other things that are of importance in this world that need our attention instead of this waste of an argument by angry BW. :x

 

Stereotypes and Myths

-Heart Desire.
I would agree with the spirit of this statement, but fall short of characterizing anyone, BW included, as necessarily "angry."
Your two brilliant examples, however,only go to further dispell the myth of black men "chasing" white women creating a "shortage"of black men.The statistical truth, whether people want to accept it or not, is the majority of black men prefer black women, and the strongest empirical evidence we have backing this claim is that of registered marriages which are recorded by the census bureau which reflect this claim, ie, black men and black women in matrimony.

I would agree too, that words are wasted in a world where people try and change the root of a person's preferences.If outlawing black men and white women together didn't stick, certainly the pressures of a pseudo-political correctness isn't going to alter anything for we in the minority populous that enjoy being with each other.Am I right?

 

It's all about perception. Black people are in a minority, obviously. Within that minority, the males occupy certain jobs that are low/no-skilled and poorly paid or don't last long. This could be related to the relatively small number in higher education. Then there's the large amount of black men in jail. Here in the UK, blacks have the largest prison population of any minority.

Carrying on, welfare-dependency is, apparently, a major feature among a healthy number of black men (I have no stats to back this up but it's been mentioned about blacks in the UK, US and Canada).

That leaves the good ones: educated, wage-earning, crime-free single guys. It's basically their market and they can be confident of finding a mate from which ever of the races they choose to.

Incidentally, I see more black women now in London with white boyfriends and these women could be described as 'good' ie, they are pretty well-groomed and attractive, as apposed to the hip-hop/ghetto types who fit a well-worn stereotype. Why not - go for it.

 

First, I think there's a misconception that there is a shortage of "good black men".

It seems to me that there are plenty of really "good black men" out there looking for the right woman for them.

Maybe those who say that there aren't need to take a look at where they are looking or how they are about things.

Or maybe it's that there is just an abundance of good black men who prefer good white women.

I just think it's ridiculous to think that we are stealing all the good black men. There isn't any taking or stealing involved. People have whatever preferences they have. It's not a competition.

I would agree with Wedlocks post on this.

 

You tend to be attracted to somebody who is on your level, right? I think it happens in interracial relationships as well as in "regular" ones. I have a friend who is a Nigerian girl and her bf is white American, and they are completely made for each other. They just get each other. He has been unhappy in his marriage and is leaving his bitchy white wife for her...

 

Well said!!!

 

Interesting thought I am seeing here.

Well for one, I understand where white women are coming from.

On the other hand, please try to understand the position of black women in our society today. Understand that many of us are raising children on our own, going to school, getting advanced degrees in education, and holding down everything on our own. Then on top of that, in a sense, we have to get flack from all sides: we are continually categorized as angry and frustrated. At the same time, we are sexualized and objectified in much of the dominating media that is directed at the young black community. (And yes, I realize that video girls choose to be half-naked in rap videos, but there is no reason to generalize to the larger population of black females based on a minority).

All that being said, im not saying that we should turn to ww who choose to date bm and blame them for the demons of the black community. But please understand that black women as a whole are underappreciated, and the "frustration" rooted in this lack of appreciation is translated into some (not all) of Black women's views on ww who date bm.

Also understand that black women are severely criticized for dating interracially while our men are not. Something to think about. This isn't the fault of white women, but i'd prefer that ww have more knowledge about our social challenges before they begin to surmise anything about black women. Just as you do not like to be judged, we do not appreciate it either.

Thank you.

 

Re: Interesting thought I am seeing here.

Points well taken. I agree that none of us like to be judged. That's why I don't believe it's ok for anyone to make a blanket accusation about white women taking all the "good" black men even if due to a frustration rooted in a lack of appreciation as you wrote. That sort of blaming won't get anyone anywhere. But this sort of exchange might get us somewhere. Thanks for your perspective, nyghtfalls.

 

Re: Interesting thought I am seeing here.

Some good points in there, except for this part--

"...Also understand that black women are severely criticized for dating interracially while our men are not. Something to think about."


The above statement is completely WRONG. It's not even close to reality.

 

Response to both posts above.

For one, the fact that black women are more criticized for dating outside of their race than are black men is actually something i've experienced first hand. Upon comparing that experience to that which other black men AND women have endured, we seemed to have come to a consensus that, yes, black women are more criticized for dating interracially. Also, if you aren't going to provide a basis upon which you are refuting my claims, you aren't providing us with anything new to learn. Add to the conversation, but please add substance. If you think I am incorrect, fine, but provide some background. I felt as though after you said WRONG, I was left hanging, waiting for the explanation.

In response to the second comment that white women endure the same things as black women, yes you are correct. But let's not ignore that the intersectionality of race AND class (particularly for single moms) spell out different things for our communities. Period. To compare the two (while both may experience the same things) are like comparing apples and oranges so I am afraid you are going to have to elaborate on your statement. Also, your disagreement of one point in my argument isn't substantiated by anything, nor does it refute my argument as a whole. So it seems pretty pointless for you to have pointed that out.

I kind of feel like I'm being a tad "bitchy"; trust that I don't mean to be, but I really would like to turn this into a conversation. Otherwise there's no point to this.

 

I think it's important to remember too that THIS site is for black men and white women. This particular thread happens to also be in the Stereotypes and Myths section. The things being said are from the experiences and points of view of bm and ww regarding Stereotypes and Myths.

With all due respect, I don't really think anyone was looking to get the perspective of a black woman. They were wanting to talk about things they had encountered as black men and white women from those who take the stand that white women are taking all the "good black men".

I would think if someone was wanting to gather input from black women on this topic they would go to another site and ask that question.

And as far as black women being criticized for dating outside their race...well there are probably other web sites that would be more appropriate for that conversation.

There really isn't any need for comparison or debate. This is a site for black men and white women...to discuss our experiences.

I guess I don't quite get why a black woman would want to come onto a site for black men and white women and start posting things. I certainly wouldn't be interested in reading or posting on a site for white men and black women. I've talked with black women I know about this - they just have no interest in coming on a site like this...why would they?

 

Good point, KnCA, and the question has to be asked, "why would a BW want to come to this site? To stir up trouble...jealously of the site popularity amoung WW and BM...or just curiousity?

But the reason is irrelevant. I think we should invite everyone here with open arms, regardless of color, race, etc. Just like I think WW (or any woman) should be accepted with open arms to black dating sites, such as blackpeoplemeet.com.

 

Jelly you have some points there. The only thing I'd like to mention is that it's one thing to lurk on a site or put up a profile but otherwise just lay low, it's another to jump into discussions on a site to which you will probably have more objections than agreements not because of the discussion at hand but more so due to the premise of the site itself.
(Nyght this is not addressed at you in particular but more to the discussion why BW come here in general).

As far as the discussion about stealing anything, I've said it a gazillion times before and will say it again. Regardless of background, plight, difficulties and what not, nobody is stealing anything from anyone. In my opinion there is absolutely no justification or excuse that will ever defend such an opinion or cause me to be more understanding of this position. I do understand that some WW and BW will never see eye to eye on this subject because our opinions on this could not be farther apart. I've come to accept this and don't care what anyone thinks about me dating a BM, whether this someone is a BW, WM or anyone else.