where are the good women and how to know if she the good one ?

We often talk about ( the media , the blogs and in the diner ) where are the good men but the question also needs to be where are the good women and how do you know if she a legitimate keeper ?

People help a brother out !!!!!:smt119

 

They're all around you. There will be red flags to look for, but for the most part you don't really know if you have a 'Good' woman until you've experienced her. The problem isn't really going to be finding a good woman, as there are plenty out there. The problem is finding a 'good for you' woman. Just because a woman is good does not guarantee compatibility.

 

Exactly, cosign!

 

Amen Father Jasiee, preach on preacher!

 

Find a woman that is compatible with you...a woman that you would proudly take home to your mama without feeling the slightest bit of tension. Don't make the mistake so many young men do of dating women for the sake of impressing their homies. Men and women are not showpieces. Don't waste time with women if you know they aren't worth anything more to you than a good time in the sack. When you waste time with airheads, the good women get snatched up by the men that can appreciate them. Any man that is worth a nickel can find a good woman if he is honest with himself about what he wants.

 

I have nothing to add.Jaisee summarized it well

 

This is some good advice,too

 

good one. also you may want to see if there are signs of instability and/or what they say doesnt match with what they do.

 

Isn't finding a good woman the same as finding a good man? I mean, you look for someone who's a good "fit" for you (I mean personality and life-wise, don't go off in that naughty direction, ya'll) ... someone you can talk to and you know will be there for you, who brings you joy and turns you on, not just sexually, but mentally and emotionally. Somebody you actually want to be around even AFTER you've had sex.

It could be someone you didn't think was "your type" ... don't close your eyes or look just on the surface, or you might miss her!

The problem with designating a "type" too rigidly is that you are dehumanizing the person - it becomes about a fetish, and not a real connection with someone. I guess the reason I'm on this site is, I hope to find both in one ...

 

Make a list of the qualities you are looking for - what defines a "good woman" for you. Identify two types of qualities - the "must haves" that you cannot love someone without and the "it would be nice ifs". Then make a list of deal breakers - thing that you really can not deal with or can not be happy with. Then as you meet and get to know a potential partner (the getting to know before committing part is pretty important) you campare what they say and do and who they are to your list and see how you feel...

A lot of people invest time and energy in people who are essentially incompatible. But after you get attached its hard to let go even when even when it would be better for both of you.

 

before you jump the broom you may want to get a credit score and criminal backround check on em.

I have heard people getting criminal backrounds done but wouldnt they need their dl number ?

 

yeah, i ask guys for thier real full name, birth date and look at thier state ID. i can do a google search and other free searches online with just the name and that info. its amazing what just the name will turn up. i am looking for press articles, restraining orders, and other critical information. can#t do a credit check without the ss number tho and i dont ask for that untill i amserious about someone. lol... but yeah. a basic background check is a good idea and i always tell the guy i am gonna do it and see what he tells me i will find... if he tells me ahead of time what i am gonna find i am less worried about it.

 

If a woman interrogated me like that, I would tell her 'peace'. What is this, a job application?

 

Credit check? Why do you need that? Lol.

I can understand criminal background check I guess but credit check? Unless you're looking to be kept I don't know why you'd need that.

Ahh what ever happened to romance. Guess you can never be too safe though, huh?

 

I have good credit.

Clean record. (Criminal and traffic).

Any other questions?

 

Really??

 

lol, no its not an interrogation - it just comes up as u get to know someone - or it should come up in my opinion. The last couple people i have dated i met online and i just ask - what is your real name? what will come up if i run a basic bakground check on u? I mean if i am attracted to u and I wanna date u that isn´t too much to ask and with what i do for work it is pretty natural to just run the name through a basic google search at least. It is also pretty easy to see if there is a restraining order or warrant out for domestic violence, etc.

If u run my real name thru google all kinds of interesting things turn up and i make sure anyone i am interested in dating knows those things about me. They have to do with work mostly , but still might affect his decision to date me so he should probably know about that stuff.

A credit check is different. that is something i have done with people i am about to entangle my finances with - or with the purpose of helping them improve thier credit score or soemthing similar. its not something i would do on just a casual acquantance or passing flirtation - its serious and an invasion of thier privacy unless they want u to do it.

 

What about really common names like mine? Are you worried about getting false information?

 

Well when I ran your name I found this:
-part time mime
-part time parcour master (sp??)
-part time zillionaire
-yacht owner, dog lover, cat smoocher and bird freer....

Needless to say not all of this may be accurate lol.

 

Yeah. I mean, I wanna be as up front and direct as possible about who I am and what I am looking for. I want him to do the same. We should be on the same team u know so if we can´t put it all out there at the begining... how is it gonna work?

I was talking with a great guy who happened to have a felony on his record. He told me about the situation and it was not a problem for me. We didnt work out for other reasons, but if he had hid that from me it would have undermined the relationship - just like if i hid certain things or lied about certain things about me.

I think some people hide things about themselves thinking that once someone loves them that person will overlook it or accept it. But thats like tricking someone into loving u and then hoping that they love u enough to accept u when they find out the bad news.

I want to go into a loving relationship with my eyes open and with my partner seeing me (and me seeing him) for who and what we really are. the good the bad and the ugly, lol! and then i know he will have my back and he will know i have his.