What's going on with you?

[life5577]

I agree with what about him getting a hotel room and taking the son there? Or if they have any relatives maybe?

But the thing that really stands out to me on it is the whole thing about that he doesn't take your calls if he's there and/or that he is sneaking or not calling you. That's just not cool.

I mean if he doesn't have any relationship with her WTF would she care who he's talking to on the phone? I get she may have an issue with you since you two were screwing around when he was with her. But that's over.

Sorry too but he doesn't have any excuse for not telling anyone that you guys are together. He needs to man up!

he told me that he has never lived with another women until me and that she will flip out and take him abck to court for more child support

 

[KnCA]

well she does care and she shoots her mouth off disrespecting me and talkin shit if he would ever take my call when she is around. so he will go somewhere alone and then call me. she told him that its disrespectful to her to be talkin to me if he is around his son.

He needs to handle this. This is exactly why he should be having his son without her around...take him out for the day whatever. And sure he doesn't need to be spending his time with his son talking on the phone to anyone. But I BET if he was out at the park (or wherever) with his son for the day...there wouldn't be any need to be calling.

But like it or not - she can't control their relationship. I can understand her concerns. I'm protective of my kids. I don't bring men around them and I don't care to have my ex bringing women around them. If it were a situation that were to get really serious that would be different. But otherwise no. But that's an agreement we have because we feel that's in the best interest of our children.

Either way - you don't need to be dealing with this crap.

Sorry but this is what happens when a man doesn't handle his business. I mean I could easily say well you got yourself into this ...and you did. But it is what it is now.

 

[KnCA]

he told me that he has never lived with another women until me and that she will flip out and take him abck to court for more child support

LOL oh brother! She can only get more child support if it's warranted. That's going to happen no matter what he is doing. So what...he's going to let her control him for the rest of his life?

 

[life5577]

I can understand if she wouldn't be cool with him having their son around you at this point. But he needs to work it out so that he has him without being in her presence. I mean unless he has supervised visits with her for some reason...it's just silly.

I mean what's she doing keeping some facade going like they are still married?

How old is the kid?

Hell he could just take him out for the day too - he doesn't have to be staying overnight.

no aint no court agreement about visitation only the money issue....the kid will be turning 3 at the end of this month. i understand also if she dont want her kid around me...that i can handle and accept, they were together for 11-12 years and he cheated before a few times....seperated a few times also for about 6 months, but she always took him back....this has been the longest they ever been apart and she claims she knows she and him will never be, but i think in the back of her mind she thinks she will get him back as in history repeats itself. i also think that she will use the child and money to hold over his head

i also think that if she can find a way to make it so hard for him money wise that he will go with the theory that its cheaper to keep her.

 

[life5577]

he told me that he has never lived with another women until me and that she will flip out and take him abck to court for more child support

LOL oh brother! She can only get more child support if it's warranted. That's going to happen no matter what he is doing. So what...he's going to let her control him for the rest of his life?

pretty much i think

 

[KnCA]

Well that really sucks!

He should get a visitation agreement put into place. Otherwise she has too much control and she can start changing things all over the place. They can draw one up between the two of them...it's not a big deal and doesn't have to cost much as long as they agree.

 

[life5577]

Well that really sucks!

He should get a visitation agreement put into place. Otherwise she has too much control and she can start changing things all over the place. They can draw one up between the two of them...it's not a big deal and doesn't have to cost much as long as they agree.

he aint gonna do that.....she might have to throw a brick through his car window for him to do that. she says jump he asks how high....if he tells her off she comes crawling back sayin shes sorry for sayin or doing ccertain things....those 2 are a joke

 

[KnCA]

WOW!

Ok so one question....why are you still around? You know you can get just as good (or better) sex somewhere else.

 

[life5577]

then when i am on my last nerve with these 2 i tell him it might be best for me to leave....not be in the way of there cluster fuck....then he throws the
"i left my family for you" crap at me....tellin me that when he said he loves me that he meant it....and that i dont know what love is and that i was a waste of his time...

 

[shyandsweet]

Girll I say leave him. Do you want to go through life being low on his priority list? Don't you think you deserve to be treated better? and trust me- there are lots of men who would treat you better than that.

 

[life5577]

WOW!

Ok so one question....why are you still around? You know you can get just as good (or better) sex somewhere else.

oh yes i know that....i am not sure why i am still around...i sit here and get ready to bounce-then think mayb it will get better mayb i am being impatient and not understanding....

then he makes me feel so shitty. i almost feel stuck

 

[life5577]

Girll I say leave him. Do you want to go through life being low on his priority list? Don't you think you deserve to be treated better? and trust me- there are lots of men who would treat you better than that.

i am not asking to be number one cuz i know his son is. i am just askin for a piece of mind....cooreration from him respect to not sleep at her crib. ok so dont call me when u leave but at least text me a good night or good morning. acknowledge me in his other world...its like he is living 2 lives. one with her and one with me....

u know i now that i could find someone out there .....mayb i am scared.

 

[KnCA]

I think we've all been in the place where you feel shitty, stuck, and scared.

It's not going to get any easier.

Just remember - you (as we ALL) deserve to be treated with respect.

It doesn't matter if he agrees with how you see it or how you feel. Your feelings are valid with or without his agreement.

Don't give him so much power.

 

[life5577]

I think we've all been in the place where you feel shitty, stuck, and scared.

It's not going to get any easier.

Just remember - you (as we ALL) deserve to be treated with respect.

It doesn't matter if he agrees with how you see it or how you feel. Your feelings are valid with or without his agreement.

Don't give him so much power.

first and foremost thanks moma-i respect your advice and opinion...

i use to have more internal power.....its almost as if he took that away

 

[life5577]

Girll I say leave him. Do you want to go through life being low on his priority list? Don't you think you deserve to be treated better? and trust me- there are lots of men who would treat you better than that.

and thank you too---i appreciate all u guys say and suggest

 

[Persephone]

then when i am on my last nerve with these 2 i tell him it might be best for me to leave....not be in the way of there cluster fuck....then he throws the
"i left my family for you" crap at me....tellin me that when he said he loves me that he meant it....and that i dont know what love is and that i was a waste of his time...

Bullshit. He left his family for you?

No, he left his family and brought you along with him when he moved to be closer to his kid and baby momma. Didn't you say she moved first, then you two moved to California?

don't you dare believe that shit he's feeding you baby. I had a man who had me so beat down emotionally he could treat me as badly as he wanted and I still put up with it. Then after 4 years of a horrible marriage I finally got the balls to get rid of him, and I'm better for it. You are too awesome to put up with his retarded ass. Kick him to the curb and come to Houston, I'll make it all better.

 

[life5577]

then when i am on my last nerve with these 2 i tell him it might be best for me to leave....not be in the way of there cluster fuck....then he throws the
"i left my family for you" crap at me....tellin me that when he said he loves me that he meant it....and that i dont know what love is and that i was a waste of his time...

Bullshit. He left his family for you?

No, he left his family and brought you along with him when he moved to be closer to his kid and baby momma. Didn't you say she moved first, then you two moved to California?

don't you dare believe that shit he's feeding you baby. I had a man who had me so beat down emotionally he could treat me as badly as he wanted and I still put up with it. Then after 4 years of a horrible marriage I finally got the balls to get rid of him, and I'm better for it. You are too awesome to put up with his retarded ass. Kick him to the curb and come to Houston, I'll make it all better.

actually yeah she left him moved to her family then he moved here and took a job closer to his son and now he wants to move even closer ....he says that then being closer he can see him more than he does now and get the child support squashed

i can tecnically go anywhere in the world i want to now. i have no ties ....

 

[KnCA]

i use to have more internal power.....its almost as if he took that away

awww

Shit why is it that we all seem to have to go through at least one of those situations where we let someone rob us of our power like that? That's really an abusive situation.

Are there some things that you can do to help build yourself back up? Maybe things you enjoy doing that you haven't been doing lately?

 

[Persephone]

Not to take away from my wifey's current troubles, but I figured I'd put an update on here about my own annoying drama.

It's come down to this: Either I beg and plead until the housing department let's me stay, regardless of the rules I broke, or I sleep at the bus stop. My boyfriend just got fucked over by his aunt, and now -he- doesn't have his own place anymore either. For him it's not too big of a deal, since he has no problem sharing an apartment with his aunt, but the problem is that -she- wants nothing to do with me, and of course isn't willing to let me stay there until I can figure out something. So I've got an extension on my eviction, at least, until Monday, and Monday at noon I've got an appointment to talk with the housing director. She's a mean, evil lady, but I'm hoping to somehow pierce her cold black heart with my tears and maybe get to stay until the end of the quarter upon promise that it'll not happen again, and maybe if I offer her my soul and the soul of my first born I can stay. If I get til the end of the quarter I'll be ok, as long as I've gotten some paychecks by then, cause once the quarter changes I can sign a lease on an apartment and my loans will send me a check for my rent.

So...any of you praying people, if you'll send me some positive thoughts and good ju ju it would be much appreciated.

Tomorrow night is the NIN concert...It's going to be surreal, especially considering current situations, but I think, if nothing, it's going to be goddamn amazing for my morale.

 

[Persephone]

then when i am on my last nerve with these 2 i tell him it might be best for me to leave....not be in the way of there cluster fuck....then he throws the
"i left my family for you" crap at me....tellin me that when he said he loves me that he meant it....and that i dont know what love is and that i was a waste of his time...

Bullshit. He left his family for you?

No, he left his family and brought you along with him when he moved to be closer to his kid and baby momma. Didn't you say she moved first, then you two moved to California?

don't you dare believe that shit he's feeding you baby. I had a man who had me so beat down emotionally he could treat me as badly as he wanted and I still put up with it. Then after 4 years of a horrible marriage I finally got the balls to get rid of him, and I'm better for it. You are too awesome to put up with his retarded ass. Kick him to the curb and come to Houston, I'll make it all better.

actually yeah she left him moved to her family then he moved here and took a job closer to his son and now he wants to move even closer ....he says that then being closer he can see him more than he does now and get the child support squashed

i can tecnically go anywhere in the world i want to now. i have no ties
....

Then don't let him act like it's -your- fault he moved. No, it's -her- fault, so he has absolutely no reason to put the blame on you.

Grr, sometimes I swear I wanna ask you for his phone number so I can tell him off for you