What is it About Some American Women and Muscular Men?

I guess as someone originally from a foreign country, this is still kinda new to me and I would be glad to get some of your perspectives on this-both from males and females. It's been about two and a half years now that I began lifting weights seriously-I hit the gym 3 to 4 days a week and workout extremely hard. Yet, even though I can sense that I have gotten bigger, I probably don't see the changes as much as other people. I wish to point out that I decided to become a frequent gym-going person out of my own personal interest and not to seek whatever attention the results of this may bring with some women.


My main question is that I would like to know what it is about muscular men that a lot of American women (and I'm not saying all because not all women in this country find muscular men attractive) find attractive in muscular men? Last summer, many times while simply minding my own business, women walking with their boyfriends on the street (even while holding their hands) or sitting at mall food courts with their boyfriends turn around and look at me. And many times it makes me feel uncomfortable because the best thing to do is to simply keep on walking, because many men in this country get envious and are more than ready to react violently whenever they think their mates find other men attractive.


And yet I don't go out seeking attention or attempting to compete with other men. Women who under normal circumstances wouldn't have talked to me during my skinny days go out of their way to be extremely polite to me in customer service situations, others stare as if they've seen a being from another planet, etc...not to mention grumblings and frowns and complaints from other men in those same places when they think you may perhaps be getting a lot of attention from the women there, feeling threatened and intimidated by your mere presence for no reason.


I'm disappointed because I think it does demonstrate that dating in America for the most part is very superficial. Maybe it's a cultural thing. In most African countries, as far as I know, most women seem to prefer their men either lean or if big, not necessarily muscular. In fact, one of my aunts currently visiting the U.S. was teasing me saying, "If you keep on with this your weight lifting and go home to visit, a lot of the women there will be scared of you/scared to approach you."


The most interesting thing in all of this though, is that despite all of this, according to an article I read a while ago, a lot of American women supposedly prefer muscular men just for flings and short-term relationships and would rather settle down with much less muscular men because they believe the latter are more likely to be more committed to them, more faithful and "less domineering." So the muscular man is stereotyped as a meat head by some, perhaps good for nothing more than child-bearing purposes and sexual trysts, etc.

 

Now the women on here will want to see a pic of you,,trust me,,,keep talking like that and your bait will be put on blast.,..

haha

But quiet frankly, i believe they love athletic men simply because we look healthier than un fit guys, plain n simple. A six pack is more impressive than a beer belly.

 

I can only speak for myself, not for all American women, but I prefer larger builds on men. The ultra-cut, veiny look is not for me though. I just like to know a man isn't going to fall over when I jump on him Plus strong arms around me are comforting. Also the more of you there is, the more of your beautiful skin I can see. I honestly don't care about abs, in fact a slight belly is kinda cute.

As for a LTR, I couldn't see myself in one with a skinny guy, because I wouldn't be attracted to him in the first place. Some men get a complex though, not feeling big enough when they are plenty big enough. Just like some women get anorexic.

 

buuuuuuuuuuuurrpp

yeah really..

all this talk about hitting the gym, buffing out, etc, with no pics, is pretty standard fare for the "virtual jock."

:wink:

..then again... you can't win either way...

if you post up a pic of a ripped, buff stud... some fruitloop is going to say you're a fake..



as for the athletic body type.. It improves the "total package" status of a person, for some women..

Usually, a guy is either very athletic, or very smart.. when you combine the two, you get closer to the total package ideal. When you add in a good personality and a good career, you increase your status even more..

that's what I came across when dealing with women, who were attracted to me... They liked to grab muscles, but at the same time, they liked someone who treated them well, and had a good head on them...

If I didn't like to keep fit, some women would still like me, for other qualities... but I bet the amount of flirting would die-off, a bit

 

Re:

Thanks to all who responded, and especially to PettyOfficerJ for his specific insight on his own personal experiences. I guess it depends on the woman, then. Because unlike PettyOfficer, a lot of women I have met in the past would rather die for a man who treats them like crap over the ones who could be labeled as "good," or forbid it, "nice." It's unfortunate, but I just think there are lots of women in this country who have serious issues. Plus, I think it's also a double standard in the sense that I don't think skinny women in this country deal with even close to half as much rejection as men when it comes to dating. But with guys, it's always a different ballgame. Many times my heart goes out when I see a lot of the skinny so-called AFC types who have just joined my gym and want very quick results without even seeming to know what exactly it is they are doing.

I see the looks on their eyes and they appear to be so frustrated. They look at other men who have hung in there for years out of personal dedication and wish they could get to that point, but a lot of them (not all) just don't seem to have the patience and quit not too long after early February like a lot of the folks who join as part of New Year's resolutions tend to do.

 

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Very true...they also don't understand what role genetics plays in building muscle. I will likely never be the type to have an 8-pack...but at one point...I went from 145 lbs as an 18-year old...to 220 lbs at age 20...("cardioed" my way back to 180 lbs)...simply by lifting weights 4-5 times per week.....other guys might only gain 10-15 lbs of muscle...but they have incredible definition....of course those same guys will still want to be bigger....i guess we desire what we don't have.....(athlete wants to be smart....smart guy wants to be athletic etc.)

 

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I hear you, chosen one. I currently have that so-called "8-pack" right now and get a lot of looks and stares when I dress in under armour. I didn't used to work my abs as much in the past until earlier this year. It's just amazing how superficial people can be.

 

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the women I met, were nice to me, and I was nice to them...

sometimes it depends on your surroundings.. and where you met..

I have came across some thug-boos, who liked a man with a hard ass, hard d*ck, and swears in every other sentence tho...

they loved it when "daddy" talked dirty, yelled...pretty much treated them like shit... that turned them on...

but.. like I said.. I also met women who liked the humor, kindness, strength, physicality, and warmness that occassionally generates from me...and really disliked the thuggish type... because they had thugs before...and they know sometimes that thug love, turns "too-thuggish" sometimes



also..sometimes looks..that you can't change without plastic surgery, come into play also...

facial appearance, I would assume, plays an important factor as well, in mate selection..

i'm not a super model, but i'm not ugly either

 

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Well, I'm certainly not one to blow my own trumpet, but I can say with confidence based on feedback I have received from quite a lot of females that I don't think I look bad at all facially. I have also received quite a lot of interest from agents at modeling agencies here on the East Coast who ahve been interested in signing me on. The difference again in my own experiences is that a lot of the women I have met have been the types (including those in clubs and of course in college) who you would think are the professional kinds who have their act together, speak good English, etc. Yet they still fall for the same sort of men I described and routinely reject those who they don't think fit the stereotype. The good thing about these experiences are that they've definitely led me to develop a lot more of an edge. I don't even see how any woman could look at me now and even dream that she could disrespect me or talk crap to me without me giving her a piece of my mind. It's never gonna happen.

 

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I can't undo, or prove false, your own personal experiences, but for the most part... I just haven't had that kind of luck...

there are many women out there, keep on lookin...

if you are good lookin as you say you are, you shouldn't have a problem bagging a classy girl, who doesn't want a Trick Daddy thug



..and yes.. you are tootin' your own horn..just a bit

..again.. I have a problem understanding why a stud, can't find the right kind of girl, or at least some girls, that like atypical black men..

need to change the clubs you're hittin' up..

If you live in philly, you know that Olde City is usually classy...

and so is the area around University of Penn/Drexel..

Might be some ideas for you, if you want to change your environment up..

I got some numbers for you, if you really need help on your mackin'

:wink:

 

Re:

Hi PettyOfficerJ, I don't think I really need that much help as far as mackin' (to use your words) goes, as I can certainly handle my own, but I do appreciate your offer of help. Nonetheless, if I find myself in a complicated situation, especially given the fact that I'm from a foreign country, I certainly can benefit from your perspective. You can reach me privately, if need be, at: frank_thomas_19144@yahoo.com


And it wasn't my intention to come across at all as if I were blowing my own horn previously. I was just using that as an example to say that no matter what the case may be, not everyone's gonna like you. I've had the reverse experience in Old City. A lot of the women I've met down there have tended to be the very shallow/superficial and flaky types who don't come across as very intelligent or who can have an educated conversation. You can often see a lot of them staggering after the clubs are closed because they are so drunk, etc. That's why I decided to avoid going there much at all anymore. It's just never been a positive environment for me as far as results go. I'm basically restricted these days to talking to women at my gym or on the street, in cafes, bookstores, etc., because I live in the suburbs far away from the city, and no longer have a ride.

 

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haha understatement of the year

 

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interesting..

I guess it would depend on your idea of "educated" conversation..

there are many different levels of education..

some people are very knowledgeable about art..

some people are very knowledgeable about science...

some people are very knowledgeable about life...

the list goes on and on..

if one person lacks a grasping of a certain discipline, in which you know a lot about, and can speak on, it would not necessarily mean they were "uneducated."

or maybe..for you..educated means talking a certain way.. and maybe has nothing to do with academic content at all..just presentation..

i really wouldn't know how to help you, as you have not put forth, from what I've seen, what you considered to be reflective of "educated."

I know some colleges have groups and sorts... in which you may not need to be a paying student, to be a part of..

that could help.. finding people who shared common interests and all...

 

if you post up a pic of a ripped, buff stud... some fruitloop is going to say you're a fake..
...So what are you saying here Officer J?

 

:smt017

 

speakin of guys who found bodybuilders to use as self-photos, to impress the ladies
So do I get to start referring to you as a fruitloop now?

 

lol



interestingly enough.. some of the women here, do not find the really ripped look, attractive..

some others, on the other hand, like the look

i'm browsing some body builder photos, and man.. some of those guys are really freaking me out, with their muscles

 

I think it's a little odd to compare what women and men want in terms of how skinny a person is. Obviously the 'ideal' man that gets shown in media print ads, commercials, etc... have some bulk to them and the women are always slim. So assuming that is what 'most' people want then men and women, on average, aren't going to go for the same body type.

As for shallowness, since when is attraction based on physical beauty new, or even confined to the US? Everyone bases their first impression of a person on how the other looks - unless you meet on a forum. :wink: This talk of wanting women to look for more is kind of silly when all you do is literally see each other...

Personally, I like a man with some muscle, but not too much. Long and lean works for me!! So, petty, you better stop bulking up or it will be over b/t us! :lol:

 

Hey...

It´s not only American women who like muscular men, it´s women in general...
I think muscular men attracts women because healty muscular men was more likely to protect their family in the primordial times...
Just like men unconsciously prefer women with big hips, because there are better build to carry their babies.
IT´S INSTINCT!!!!!