What if they aren't into it?

I am a male and rarely understand what is going inside a women's head and they probably feel the same about me.

There are some women that haven't dated outside of their race in their entire life or haven't considered it. If you look at the numbers, there are few interracial marriages in the US and probably the same for dating. And you look around, you normally see Ken and Barbie couples are variation of that.

Back to me, I am a generationX person that moved around a lot and see dating as a biological thing not a race thing, yet everything around me tells me that both women and men have some preconceived, man-made idea on what a "perfect" couple should be based on. So, I am more surprised that there aren't more "Obamas" out there and more IR dating if human-beings are interested in sex and wanting to fill a need. You would think that the backward culture would not get in the way of nature's attraction between a male and female.

With that being said, here are my questions:

1. If you know that a woman has not dated outside of their race (I have asked), are they still wired not to? First time for everything right?

2. Do a lot of women still want the Ken and Barbie, nuclear family dream lifestyle. Or was that the 50s, 60s. I always look at the people in the clubs and bars, even though they are pushing back a lot of drinks and flirting with everything; I think think in the back of their mind, they want the Blonde Prince Charming type to appear. (but I could be wrong).

I can see where the culture around us kind of pushes towards a certain life. What what will her friends think? Possibly her family? Coworkers? If she does like everyone else, she can feel safe right?. Then again, same will happen if she ventures out and meets "new" people of different cultures.

Of the women I have been with; white, Hispanic, black; that is mostly during college and hit or miss lately as an adult. So, I assume in college, women are trying to branch out. With the adult social scene, it feels more cliquish then when I was in high-school.

(sorry if this is covered to death, this is my first time here)

 

You should stop trying to make things appear to be so complicated and do whatever makes you feel happy, you can never go wrong that way. If people chose not to like your decision to date outside of your race, then the hell with them and the horses they rode in on.


End of thread. :smt045

 

:smt038

 

You are right, but I was just curious. Obviously, I can't get into someone else's head. What are women thinking about in 2008?

 

women in 2008 think about suckin dick gettin fucked in the ass and there pussy ate.....hasnt changed

 

I'll bite.

First I think you need to figure out what it is you are wanting...the type of person, the type of relationship, etc.

1. I think it just depends on the woman. You asked if she had or hadn't...ask her what she'd like to do. It's up to you if you want to be the first or not.

2. Sure a lot of women are still looking for the fairytale (whatever that may be for them) I don't know if they necessarily are looking for someone who looks like Ken though. Everyone has their own visions of who it is they see themselves with. I've never cared for blonde men and I know very few women who do. There are plenty of women (and men) who want the marriage and family but not with someone who looks like Ken or Barbie too. The lifestyle isn't dependent upon the cosmetics.

A lot of what you are talking about will change based upon area, age, experiences.

 

Women in 2008 are thinking about anything and everything. Can't really tell you what all women are thinking, since I'm just one. It's easier to concern yourself with the ones you're interested in, instead of all of us. Obviously you're not a mind reader, but sometimes it's as easy as asking outright what you'd like to know.

 

about LOVE and the long awaited prince charming... the way they always have.

 

This is one of the most intelligent posts I've seen on this board.

And yes, social expectation plays a HUGE role in determining in how we conduct our lives period, not just how we "choose" partners. When we act against social expectation, we're also making potential adversaries out of family members, friends, the law and society in general. Given that finding a potential mate, dating them, then forming and trying to maintain a relationship are difficult enough, most people prefer to just play by the rules in other aspects of the chase.

It's not that she necessarily wants the "white knight" and nothing else, as it is she wants acceptance of her choices. Of course there are exceptions to this, but women are generally pleasers and don't like to rock the boat.

Yes there is an oppressive sameness to it all, so the responsibility falls to each of us to show others that your qualities make you worth the risk.

 

Wow. Just...Wow!!! :lol:

 

:lol:

 

It's also an age thing. People tend to take more risks when they're younger. I think that in the case of interracial relationships, people later realize that common background, including common ethnic background, is important - something they were not aware of before. So they choose to stick to their own. A lot of interracial marriages worldwide break up and both the woman and the man go back to their own. But this is just one scenario. Sometimes a relationship breaks up and a person, on the contrary, gets hung up on the ethnicity of their ex-partner and seeks out partners of the same background. It depends on the experience in the original relationship.

 

I understand your need to have your questions answered. I can only speak for myself and I don't like generalizations, so I can't speak for anyone else or hit you with stats pertaining to your questions.

I never dated outside of my race before I met my husband. It's not that I didn't find men of other races to be attractive or that I was scared to venture out, I simply didn't have the opportunity.

I did want the nuclear family, American dream lifestyle and we've worked hard to have it. Yes, we are a different looking family than most in our social circle/neighborhood, but we have a few interracial couples that we socialize with.

My family adores my husband now but at first they couldn't understand why I would risk giving up a lifestyle to which I was accustomed. They didn't know any upper middle class interracial couples and assumed I was destined for a working class "baby mama" life style. :roll:

Unfortunately it seems that they aren't the only ones who assume this about interracial relationships.

edited to finish my post I think the assumptions I mentioned above may keep a certain type of white woman from pursuing interracial relationships when she might be interested otherwise.

 

duplicate post

 

:roll: It could be that this was an attempt at humor. It wasn't funny, though.

 

The rookie is actually asking a very valid question....put it into perspective.

It's very fair to ask what women expect today. Time, values, and morals have changed dramatically over the past 25 yrs.

Do women still look for the traditional nucleus?

It's a fair and substantial question.

 

I do, and so do most women that I know, even though we realize that things have gotten more challenging. We are regular women who want a husband and a family, and happy weekends together. And that's the kind of men we tend to attract. It seems that those people who are interested in let's say booty calls and fwb relationships, find people who are interested in the same. Christians who remain chaste until marriage, find partners who also chose to remain chaste until marriage, and they raise their kids accordingly. People who cheat say "everyone cheats" and can give you examples. People who marry for money, or sleep around, also defend their position and find support. Everyone finds their niche.

 

Yes, Intrigued. There are still many, many, many women out there who are looking for the traditional nucleus. I'm one of them, and all of the women I know are looking for the same thing.

 

I have a question: What does nucleus mean in this context? I know the biological meaning of the word but I dont understand it here

 

hahahh -thats fine