What have you gone through dating outside your race?

Hello,
I've been dating my boyfriend for 9 months now and it's starting to get very serious. He is a BM from Jamaica and i am a WW from Canada. At the beginning i went through HELL with my family trying to get them to accept him. Even other people gave me their opinions on us dating, people that have no business in what we do. We walk down the mall sometimes and get dirty looks. I've always been attracted to BM and am very interested in interracial dating. So interested that I'm actually doing a research report on this topic. If you could please share your honest through ts, opinions, and personal experiences you have gone through dating someone outside your race, it would be very appreciated. Thanks!!

 

i guess i have no black friends because of it, but I dont think that is it

 

In a word "Hell".
I loss "friends" and family.
Yo-yo's I did not know or care about told me how they felt about it.

The friends and family was the hardest because those are the people who are there for you no matter what! Thick and thin, right? Right.

Oh well.

 

i didnt have any black friends to lose so i really didnt lose anyone. plus I have been dating since I was a child, so it is natural for me. I came out as IR when i was in 5th grade in the 1970s

 

I loss both black and white "friends" in the '90s when I date a white girl.

I was in grade school in the '70s too but this issue is still a hot topic for many today, just like it was back in the "old" days.

 

interesting. It was not a hot topic growing up in the south in the 70s, I dated only white girls, hispanic girls and asian girls--no problems.

in the 90s it was natural and felt like home

 

I was too young to date or notice what people felt about dating in the '70s but in the '80s, '90s and today it is still a problem in the south.
But I think that may make for an interesting topic all on its own.
I don't want to hijack this one.

 

just speak to your experience, man. you not hijacking anything.

i grew up and lived throughout the south, my experiences were good and some were just ok. I never had them bad. in the 80s it was ok, some really great gals, in the 70s man the girls were hot and great. in the 90s, girls in Texas and SC were very amazing

 

Me either really... and all the BM im friends with either date WW or have dated one before...

im surprised at the prejudice your facing in Canada though :?

 

thanks mate but i dont live in Canada

 

To answer your inquiry, all you have to do is just read throughout THESE FORUMS, and what you'll find in here should be more than enough info for your research. Trust me on that.

 

my parents have 'issues' but we agree to disagree.
but have never experienced anything negative - thank God
sometimes he notices someone looking, but i tell him its just cos we're such an attractive couple.

 

When the black guy is pretty big, and looks prepared to fight, it's usually the women that only get the nasty looks and stares and comments. When the black guy is non-threatening and harmless looking, then all hell breaks loose.

The fact is many white people are angry when they see a BM/WW together (according to a recent study, 47% of American whites surveyed do not approve of such relationships), but are nonetheless too scared of a confrontation or looking like racists, unless they know they will emerge the victors of their petty minded nonsense.

 

If they have you outnumbered and in their territory there's a high possibility of confrontation particularly when alcohol is involved. Blacks have always been far more accepting. We've all heard of instances of whites being disowned and taking shelter with blacks, but it's rarely the other way around.

 

Yes, that's true. Usually blacks are more prone to acceptance, even when the families don't really approve.

 

on average, that is true, but there have been stories of black men and women being "disowned" by their parents for their dating preferences, particularly when the blacks are middle to upper income and their non-black partners are working class.

 

i have heard of that, they dont own them so they cant disown them b ut they can cut them out of wills and shut them out of their lives

 

As I've stated, more prone, EVEN when/if the families don't really approve, which is something that I never denied.

Just read all the threads in here about how 'my white father is disowning me for loving BM' and so on, and on...

and on...

and on...

and, all the news articles circulating the Internet about this.

 

it certainly does becomes old....
whites are not the only ones who have to deal with family opposition.

 

They only predjudice I struggle with is my own. More on that in a moment.

I really have not gone through anything dating black men. Either with my family or with theirs. At least not to my face.

I also tend to date men who are pretty secure, financial independent and self sufficient. I have found men of all types who have made good choices throughout their lives, who have lived on their own, have made good choices because they have good self esteem, and are respected by their families for those choices are not going to be admonished by thier families. If they made respectable choices throughtout their lives how could their choice in partners be debated? They are not, because the men I choose command RESPECT. Not bullying demanding respect but respect because of their lifestyles.

My family did not blink an eye. Not a lash, not an muscle. If he had dredlocks and baggie jeans , it would have been different. Then again , if was white and had dredlocks and baggie jeans , he would have received the same treatment.

I struggle with my own issues really. I think too much these days about my relationships being IR than when I was younger. I think because my life is more serious. I think about the impact of my relationship on my kids on his kids. How they will and do view us. Are we setting a good example. Is he setting a good example for his daughters who are dark complected. Where would we live and what would happen to our families if we come in contact with racsists. things like that. I realize that we will never bee the "country club" socialites. Not that such fantasies are really important but this forum is where I get my uglies out. LOL

Also, I don't care for parties with all African Americans. I find myself not wanting to go to places where I am the only white girl. I feel "exposed". He said, he is so use to those type of things that it does not phase him (being the only black person) but it does phase me. Also. most the parties are boring LOL. OK-sterotypical joke but its true.

Also, most of the black men I have dated come from some way out crazy families. Like the guy is one of the few successful together guys and I have do deal with the family.

I KNOW these are prejudices. I work on them. I probably think about them too much and then get all worked up.





I