What has success got to do with interracial relationships?

There is a hate that some(stress on some.Not all!!!) African-American women voice and loudly! – they hate it when a black man becomes famous - he’s always quick to run to a caucasian woman to marry. Question is: Does success determine whom society thinks you will or should love? What does fame and success have to do with loving whoever the heart tells you to?

There has always been this notion that once a black man becomes successful in life he forgets about the sister that stayed with his a** when he had nothing and was a nobody. Is this entirely true? I don’t think so.

Much as there are a few brothas that marry someone of a different race once they became successful, there are also those that have married their beautiful black sistas. Plus there is one thing most of us fail to consider… COINCIDENCE! May be the dude just happened to meet the person they love after making it in life… and that person happened to be caucasian. Its sad to see how people get pissed over interracial marriages or dating and how they always dig up reasons to justify why you decided to date interracially.

Haven’t they ever heard of love and attraction?

I usually like to believe that it’s no one’s business whom I decide to date or marry. And people shouldn’t have to give reasons why. If one feels that a woman or man of another race is going to love them the way they want be loved, then that is their business don’t you think? Pouting and name calling is not going to make them change their mind. There are many successful black women who date interracially, Shar Jackson, Venus Williams etc. etc., Moreso, there are many successful black males married to lovely black females, Denzel Washington, Will Smith and Sidney Poiter come to mind. So, is it just because the media focus on an “interracial union” moreso or is it just that you yourself notice it more?

So he is not with a black woman. But does it really matter? Is this something to get an ulcer over? It is NOT WRITTEN that ‘Thou shall not date outside your race once you become successful’ and you don’t have to be any particular race to be a “trophy wife”

Another point is Black men, for example, are a minority group in America. So they would be surrounded by White, Hispanic, and Asian women. Common sense would seem to dictate that there would be interracial dating, marriages, and children between Whites and Blacks unless there were specific laws against or attacks on interracial couples.

It actually would be weird for some Black men NOT to choose to date White, Hispanic, or Asian women if that is what is also around them.

Statistics prove the majority of Black men, date and marry Black women. So, if some Black men (or women) date and marry other races what is the problem? By the way, the American group with the largest percentage of interracial marriages would be Asian American women. Why no focus on Asian American women that date outside of their “race”?

I know people tend to get mad even when they see a black woman with a white man. I was shocked to hear of a dude who refuses to watch Halle Berry films just coz she is pregnant by a white man. And you won’t believe his argument: “Out of all the successful black men she could have been with, she chooses to get pregnant by a white man!” Personally, I find it a little hard to watch Tom Cruise movies after what he did to Nicole

Looking at Berry’s story, its not like she never dated successful black men, she did. But she has now moved on and found someone who loves her and wants to be with. She fell in love with a white man just as she would a black man.

Who cares if Cuba Gooding Jr. married a white woman? That would be his business. We wouldn’t even ever know about it if these people weren’t famous.

Not only do we judge the famous. We also form opinions about the random people walking down the street with their significant other. Turning our noses in disgust won’t make them love each other less.

It’s time to let our intelligence guide our thoughts and opinions and judge people for who they are as opposed to who they date or marry.

 

Most men want someone who willingly caters to their ego. I really want to say more but I'll just leave it at that for the time being. :wink:

 

Well but not all white women will do that so I dont get what the big deal with that is

 

God Given Rights

God Given Rights. That's it in a nutshell.

People feel they have GGRs to things. I'm going to expound some more but I'll say this first and this is something I believe to the fullest : The only thing a person has a GGR to is their life. You were given that on day one and that's it. Anything else that comes along is by happenstance, chance and of course free will in some cases. And guess what? No matter how well you pay on your life, the Lord can still call that in anytime he sees fit, of course if you pay well enough you get the Eternal Reward, but I am not here to preach the Gospel.

Statistically, this is a myth. And trust me, it hardly ever goes down like this. The only famous case I can think of is with OJ Simpson, and even there I can't call it completely because I don't know the full circumstances of why he left his first wife. The vast majority of black male celebs are with sistas. The media finds a bm/ww couple and flashes them all over television, and so people get it into their heads that it happens all the time. lol Aside from the fact that it's not even that serious, it's downright ridiculous.

People who complain about IR don't care about coincidence, sadly. They don't care about details and specifics. They care about their GGRs only. They didn't get it, somebody else has it so there must be something amiss. Paranoia is a helluva drug.

LOL WTH? Kat makes it sound like she had some sort of obligation. Once again with the GGRs. Key example.

Agreed, but I'm not holding my breath.

 

Re: What has success got to do with interracial relationship

Boy, you're really getting into some dangerous water when you start talking about "successful" black men leaving sistas for white women.

First, lets dispell the notion that everyone marries for love. We can throw that right out the window.

Second, coincidence doesnt exist. People make choices. They may be driven by their subconscience, but coincidence has nothing to do with the trend of "succesful" black men marrying white women more frequently, or white men marrying aisian women, or old men (Im talking "Strom Thurmond" old not "George Clooney" old) marrying young women, or cougars marrying young studs, or guys trading in their 40 - 50 year old wives for 20 year old tender-roni's. These are not coincidences, but examples of these groups "marrying up" or "trading up."

But I can understand the feelings of black women because its something that hits real close to home when your entire life you've been told that your not as beautiful/smart/good as the next person (read:white person) simply because your black. And as much as black women tell themselves it isnt true, they keep seeing brothas achieve a certain amount of succes and switch from black to white.

Should it bother black women? Thats not for me to say because Im not a black woman

There are few if any absolutes in life, but "successful" black men do marry white at a higher clip that the average brotha.

I know Im gonna catch hell for this, but...and I mean no offense to those ladies...90% of the brothas on this board will tell you that those women wouldnt have a chance in hell of dating a decent white dude if they werent rich. Just as there are some ugly ass singers and actors (Forest Whitaker, ladies?) who have FINE wives who wouldnt be caught dead with those dudes if they weren't rich and famous.

Uh...I dont know the point your trying to make, but it seems like your saying that because the number of black men is minor compared to the diverse ratio of different ethnicities of women arround him, his dating/marrying ratio should be just as diverse.

Not quite. Society tells these women that to marry "black" is to marry "down." (There are plenty of posts and threads on this very board of white women talking about their family's pregudice and negative feelings against blacks.) Plus people tend to marry those like themselves. ("Birds of a feather...")

The simple fact is people are gonna do what they wanna do. Those brothas that trade black for white are free to do that if they wish, and if brothas and/or sistas choose not to support those celebrities, their shows, and their products, thats their right, also.

Its precisely why I have never watched seinfeild, sex and the city, and a long list of other shows.

 

^ makes a lot of sense.

except for the seinfeld and sex and the city part?

 

yeah, i was in total agreement with everything jellybird said...and then the last statement through me for a loop.

oh, jellybird....please explain?

 

Sorry about that. I had an "angry black man" moment.

"How in the hell you gonna have two shows set in the middle of New York City and between the two of them have only two black people?" :shock:

Coincidence, maybe...?

 

It's all simple math:

There are roughly 100 million white women in the U.S. and about 18 million black women.

If you assume that 97% of black women prefer black men and only 20% of white women are either open to black men, open to all men or prefer black men...the numbers look like this....


Available sistas = 17, 460,000

Available WW = 20,000,000


The fact that 91-96% of BM that get married marry BW is pretty astounding considering that blacks are outnumbered nearly 6 to 1. Minorities almost always marry into the majority...but we are a notable exception...unlike Latinos or Asians.


BW (some not all...I don't want to paint all sistas with one broad brush) aren't upset that BM are marrying WW....they are upset that 6-pack having, '6-3", handsome, intelligent, highly educated, wealthy and spirtual BM are marrying white....BW feel that the top of the line, perfect-10 brothas are leaving....they aren't as concerned with the 6,7 and 8 BM's.

I think BW wait too late to start thinking about marriage...they get their careers together which is good....but by the time they decide they want to get married...most of the "good" BM are taken...and the ones that are single, know they've got it going on....so they can get exactly what they want.

What BW don't realize is that men with $$$ don't necessarily want a woman with $$$. The man has all that he needs so he can seek a partner that is truly a match as opposed to a marriage based more on similar qualities like educational level, $$$, etc.

 

It is simple math, but bad logic. Your assuming that the exposure to all races of women is equal, but it isnt. Your assuming that the selection of a partner is random, and that isnt as well. Then once you throw in pregudice(?), racism, and social pressure to marry your own race, then you understand why blacks typically marry blacks, asians marry asians, etc.

Statictically, people marry their own race. The group with the largest percentage of interracial marriages is asians with clos to 25%.

 

Certainly people tend to marry their own race. My point is that the idea that all "good" BM marry WW is absurd. I also think that people's shock when a decent BM marries a WW is silly. Even if you take out all of the racists, those with class prejudice, etc....a BM will have a pool of WW to choose from that is roughly as large as the pool of BW. When you consider that 90-95% (depending on the stats you use) of BM marry BW...it's clear that BM of all socioeconomic levels are choosing sistas. BM with college degrees are more likely than their BM high school grad counterparts to marry outside the race but the difference is not enough for sistas to sound the alarms about all the good brothas being taken....sistas are getting a higher share of their own men than most women of other races get of their men.

Not being able to find a man and always attracting the WRONG man are two different problems....a lot of sistas' problems are related to the latter and not the former.

 

That's right. its not that ONLY "good" black men are open to IR dating. Also those that are not so decent date IR. And there are more of those than of the "good" ones.

 

Fully 2/3rds of those women are tainted, leaving on average -

20% Good Women, of either color

The ratio would still be like 3-1 however.

I'd say less than 10% of available Black Males with no criminal record, baby mama drama with a decent paying job and healthy habits are even interested in dating outside of their races or only have a mild interest.

So in the end, I think the numbers are fair across the board, I don't think there's a shortage of available Black Men for the White Women that want them.

Look, Obama just might be the most famous and powerful man on earth and he's married to a "strong" Black Woman, so I would prefer the BITCHING to stop.

Is there much bitching anyway???

 

Stereotypes and Myths.

This thread is a compelling to me. I like the mathematical and statistical breakdown that the Chosen One offered, the practical logic of jellybird, and even some of the social observations that djmonie made. I stay away from terms like "tainted," but you guys have a great discussion going here.

The one thing I love to see especially as a black male, are other black men who are thinking and having rational discourse. I have made several posts especially back in 2007 debunking this myth, and all it's variants.The United States Census Bureau makes it crystal clear every cycle that the majority of black men marry black women. there just isn't empirical evidence that properly supports the myth that black men leave their black wives for white women when they reach a certain financial status.The black men such as myself who desire a white female as a partner vary from one to another.We come from all walks of life and represent many nations and many vocations.Income levels vary.I just don't know where this erroneous mentality comes from other than the heightened social visibility of black male and white females when they consort.Otherwise it;s just plain mental garbage.
And anyone who is familiar with my posts knows that I'm intellectually honest with statistics and logic;that's my gold standard if I am going to offer an opinion most of the time.
Thanks, and keep it going........