What do you bring to the table?

I agree with you YMRA for adults love is conditional between two people. when it comes to parents to the child ...then yes it is unconditional.

Love is an act of sacrifice for a person who is the object of your affinity. It takes a mature and honest person to appreciate and recipricate that sacrifice.

 

and why is that usually the case? Because a sense of permanence is rooted in your creation just like it is rooted in the healthy unconditional love of self. People are talking about having the ability to love unconditionally in possibly impermanent conditions (Marriage, GF/BF). "So, up till the point that I stop loving you, the love I promise to give you will be unconditional." That's fine and all but how many of these unconditional love folks are the same ones decrying institutional marriage and the relationship dynamics of race, weight, geography?

 

Were the last couple of sentences directed at me. I just wanted to make sure before I reply.

 

lol, I know you are one of the anti-marriage folk. The other issues, I don't know. You seem to be measured in your view and I tend to agree with you in many instances. That was a general statement, however, but you seem to always weight in on those topics and you love unconditionally...so have at it if it the mark..you can respond however you want to. It won't make leave the forum

 

I disagree.

There are 2 absolutes in life: death and taxes.

(I'm just pointing out the obvious as I know that's not what you meant with this post).

 

I agree that in the context of familial relationships it is easier to offer unconditional love. There are several members of my family that I love, though I don't happen to like them very much. However I think some people can manage unconditional love for non-familial people, though it is more rare. I think it's probably more accurate when speaking of non-familial, i.e. romantic love, to say 'I offer you unconditional love as long as you offer me the same', which is of course a condition thereby nullifying the concept all together. But that's how I think people see it in their mind, they could love someone unconditionally who loved them the same way. Additionally, though no doubt someone will get onto me for saying this and for bringing ugliness into a discussion of pure love, I think a battered woman represents a form of unconditional romantic love. She stays with a man who mistreats her terribly, overlooking his behavior and all else because she loves him. So while I believe in the concept of unconditional love, I don't think it's always a good idea because it can be irrational to the point of being detrimental.

 

Meet Joe Black?

 

You make me smile with your utter brilliance...

 

That may have been in there, but I was more referring to the originator of that quote: Ben Franklin. :smt023

 

Ahh well as an EnglishWoman my vision is blurred with Brad pitt every time I hear the quote.

 

To be referred to as such made me laugh...

 

I bring absolutely nothing to the table. None of my attributes can be considered a quality. I'm neither good looking nor tall. No education of which to speak beyond high school. My interests are limited and I'm sexually inhibited. I'm neither talented nor skilled. Barely make enough money to pay the bills. I have no goals and couldn't be considered ambitious.

Well, I guess I have a few qualities. I regularly take showers. At least once per week. I own a computer so I can chat online and post on forums. My DVD collection 300 strong. I believe there's someone out there for me.

 

I think unconditional love in romantic relationships is very possible. The trick is to balance that with what is acceptable behavior.
Just because you love unconditionally, doesn't mean you will or should accept any and all behavior - that would be detrimental and that is not really unconditional love...
Even though you do love someone unconditionally, you might choose to walk away because of a number of reasons which has nothing to do with love...
That doesn't mean you stopped loving unconditionally, that love is still there but for whatever reason its not enough as it only refers to your love, not the other partner- it could be that the other person has issues... it could be safety or ethical issues or whatever. That other person may not love you back etc etc... So even if you love somebody unconditionally, you might not have a choice in the matter.

I think you can do the same with friendships.

 

I have to pause to see how I am going to comment to this one...or if I decide to comment at all.

 

Now you know I don't want to argue with you FG but... to set terms for what is acceptable behavior is setting conditions. Unconditional love to me is saying it doesn't matter what you ever do, I will always love you regardless. That means I still love you if you beat me, I still love you if you are inappropriate with one of my kids, I still love you if you clean out my bank account and skip town, I still love you if you become a drunk or a drug addict... and so on. Now if you still manage to love them in those types of circumstances, but choose not to be with them because of their behavior, then I would say that is unconditional love. I don't think many people can honestly pull that off though in a romantic capacity, and I don't necessarily think they should. I think there are times when it's appropriate to stop loving someone.

This amused me... so please do take all the time you feel you need.

 

What are we talking about other than being romantically together and the attributes we could bring to that coupling. The fact that you could unconditionally love me and not be with me is a of little consolation when I'm single! I'm not holding your hand on the beach or giving your shivering orgasms; the unconditional love you would show me would me no different than the kind you show your distant cousin Olof.

 

unconditional love in a relationship....hmmmm??? not possible imho. the premises, for being in a relationship in the first place, are conditional. just check the "qualities" thread. if thats not enough look at this "bring to the table" thread. we all have a bunch of c&r whether we admit it or not

 

I indeed find it rather interesting that others would allow someone they don't particularly like to cause them to leave a forum they otherwise enjoy but I digress.
I believe romantic love is entirely possible without condition the only condition(lol) is that you love yourself that way first. If you can approach each day with that person as a gift and not a right and not obligate them to be the source of your happiness but as inspiration for you to show love to others than I think its possible. Ghandi said it best "cause another to have what you want for yourself and you will never want again"
I know you guys might think weight might be a condition for me but on the contrary if you already have my heart my love for you won't cease just my physical attraction for you. So then we move from the phase of romantic love to pure friendship which isn't bad. I guess thas why I'm not a overall fan of marriage because any system that seeks to confine my expression of self isn't truly a system of love. Not to mention the redundancy of vows. All the things said in wedding vows should be considered a given I don't see why it needs to be said. It comes across as indulgent and insecure to me.

Thank for not leaving lol