What brings me here (this site, and life in general)...

Whew! Just pass :?the vodka this way!

 

Passes the vodka!

 

Sounds like a hot fucking ghetto mess so do it, we love that kind of classless shit in America.

Best.

 

You're his side piece. If you're good with being #2 and potentially a home wrecker, then you're good.

Are you trolling us?

 

:smt043:smt043:smt043

 

^^This^^

If dude respected her he would treat her like a lady and not a jump off. I don't know why any woman would subject herself to such a situation, knowing what the man is like.

Not like dude is leaving his family, marrying her and whisking her away on a white horse.

Dude likes the status quo as is. Sometimes a woman has to be smarter than that.

 

Welcome on board LadyJ.

Honest question what do you get out of this arrangement as a female. Think about it. Are you in it for some dick, a fling. ?????

I understand you stated you realize the complex nature of things. However if you want to accept such treatment, knowing the deal, better not get all emotional and cry about it later on. Women are funny like that about these things, thinking they will be able to change the man and make him see things their way, when he is probably set in his ways and likes the arrangement as is.

As long as you are content with that oh well, start changing up on him and watch a whole different side unfold most likely.

 

Thanks for the welcome. Also appreciate the way you came at me.

I know how this sounds, believe me. He took a while getting to know me before we really started talking, I felt he cared. He was hilariously funny, sweet and looking more handsome to me by the day. Sex is good, but I don't want a relationship based on this. Honestly, his effort has been dwindling lately, and I'm starting to not feel easy about it... At this point, I feel it's time I wise up.

 

I have to agree with some of the posters here. Let's look @ the facts you presented to us....

1) you knew he was married

2) you knew he had a baby by another WW (I hope and pray that he's actually taking care of that one)

3)knowing all this, it actually sounds like you're considering having a baby with this dude!!

I mean, honestly, what else is there to say?


By the way, y'all leave me a sip of that vodka left?? This story is just WAY too much!! Lmbo!!!

 

ROFL, when I read it I was like :smt119

 

LadyJ,

Your inner voice has already awaken you! If it feels wrong, it must be WRONG.

Mutual booty call is one thing. He's already married with kids? Is he at least a millionaire? I'm not sure a legal arrangement exists for his proposal, but if you fall for this piece of Bull, you need to commit this creep to pre natal nup.

From the beginning of reading your post, my response to his proposal was "Fugg Dat Sheyit".

Think about it - He already has a wife and kids, but finds time to spend with you. Is that the role model you want for your baby's daddy?

You don't need us to to find a backbone and I sincerely doubt you'll find anyone in the forum who will cosign your having his baby under the conditions you describe. Get off your back, stand up, and be the adult in this (your) whack scenario.

 

It sounds like you crazy , or stupid, or just selfish bi.. that people will think.. anyway i see no point to have relationship (sexship?) with maried mad, especially when one of many of his ladies aside... he is just using you thats all.. and no matter how sexy and sweet he is, world is full of unocupied sexy black man.. stop waisting your time

 

Truth is, I needed to hear some words, hard as they may be to hear. I just got caught up in him, and lost myself. I need a shot or two of something myself.

 

This is a recipe for disaster...

He is got a wife + a baby mama, and now he wants to shack up with you? My take, back up and re-evaluate the whole thing.

If you got caught up in the moment and taken by this guy, fine & dandy but you should still put your heart in reverse mode and get out this emotional drama. He is married, doesn't sound like he is leaving his wife for you. Honestly if your deal is tryin' to have a bi-racial kid, you don't need him. There are many options: donors bank, or you can do the one night stand thing with any decent looking bar hopping blk guy that you can find at any Chicago bar without any string attached. Or you can adopt.

If this is your 1st attempt to bring a life to this world, this scenario is not worth it. Your kid wil be taunted as a product of a home wrecker mom and a triffiling or manwhore dad.......

Get out when the getting is good.

My .02 cents....

 

Lots of talk about but the adults. What about the point of view from the child perspective.

You would (potentially) intentionally bring a child to this world

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that would be a 'secret', can you imagine what that would do to a child???!!!! ShT? You dont think the child would find out? One day, itbwill and all hell would break lose.
You also would bring said child into the world with someone that will not be there emotionally or physically to your child, and absolutely not financially.... Kid is a secrecy, how is he going to support the child financially (or be there for the child) with out the wife finding out?? Aint gonna happen. He has children with his wife and another child with babymama #1.. Do you really think this is fair to then potential child? I find it terribly selfish of you tbh

 

Sounds like Aslan, Interim, VT, FG and other posters have given you the best advice. Best of luck to you.

 

LOL, that dude has a lot on his plate. Marriage, baby mama and now LadyJ. Don't know how he does it.

Heck 1 woman is good enough to deal with, unless a dude is a playa and not wanting a deep relationship anyway or a man just wants endless juggling and drama dealing with a whole bunch of women.

Any woman who respects herself would step back and ask herself, "what the fuck am I doing in this situation, am I not worth more than this"

To all the ladies, take if from a man, a dude will only treat you with the level of respect you demand from him.

If you are a piece of ass for him, he will take it, if you demand respect he will either come correct at you or move on to an easier woman. The choice is yours ladies.

 

Definitely think deeply about it and ask yourself what do you want out of such an arrangement with him. If he is not leaving his wife and marriage then that kind of puts the writing on the wall for you about where this is heading. He's not even making you those endless false promises that some married dudes who have affairs do about leaving the wife for his mistress.

 

Sure we saved you some Vodka! :freehug:

 

Wish I could rep you again for this post!