well lets ask this why BM love WW

This could arguably boil down to a cultural thing. I come from a line of very non-competitive Eastern Germans. It's not our nature, and this is kind of culturally reflected.

Especially with people whose families have been in America since 1800 or earlier, there's a very deep attitude of American competitiveness.

 

Im competitive in its appropriate setting, not towards other women for men, or with my man for that matter...unless we play a game or sports

Neither am I jelaous, doesnt seem to be a very common trait in the Nordic culture - course, there are jealous people there, but there is no sense of entitlement, we dont have it as flagrant as here.. and I think if you have a sense of entitlement to a particular person, you will get jelaous. I also think the pressure of women there is less than here in regards to bodies and looks so perhaps women there are less insecure?

Of course, most times jealousness stems from insecurity - I dont think ww suffer any less than bw do of insecurity.

 

I’m most certainly human Andrae, and in contrast to the other responses I haven’t managed to evolve past jealousy yet. Honestly I’m insanely competitive and very aggressive by nature, but I’ve learned to control both. I also don’t share well when it come to men, unless I’ve been made aware up front that the relationship is not of the exclusive type. Those traits combined I suspect fuel a certain amount of what would be regarded as jealousy, but only in specific circumstances. If, for instance, I’m in an exclusive relationship and another woman is coming on too strong, but he’s not initiating or encouraging her, then I would take exception to that and she would be dealt with appropriately. On the other hand if he is encouraging or receptive to her, then I’d cut him loose and the two of them would be welcome to do as they please, as I really am not going to waste time on a man if I can’t hold his interest. If the relationship is not exclusive then jealousy is completely inappropriate, that’s not to say I wouldn’t still feel it if I really wanted him all to myself, however I would never show it. For me, if you aren’t worthy of at least sparking a bit of possessiveness and jealousy, I’m not wasting time on you because that just means I’m not really that interested.

 

Maybe I'm misinterpretting what FH was saying, but I don't think that he was saying that WW don't get jealous in general. I think that he was saying that they don't get jealous of seeing their men succeed. I know that I've been told by some of the BM that I have been in relationships with say that most of the WW they have dated supported them more and were happy to see them succeed. They said that wasn't always the case with some of the BW that they dated.

 

That is the way I took it as well.

 

I love the way you think. Its very progressive and I'm pretty much the same way. I would never waste energy on someone dumb enough to cheat on me. Although as I get older I don't get jealous a lot less. I've accepted my actions are all that I have power over everything else is just fluff.

 

My problem with that way of thinking is it contradicts the whole bw gold digger myth. If bw are so obsessed with material goods why would they be jealous of a man gaining more ability to get it for her? I think all women are attracted to success

 

I think that is what Flaming meant.

 

I think you brilliantly observant ladies are correct. I took it literally though, so thanks for pointing that out.

All better now Andrae.

You know I just couldn't leave it alone, being one of the women not attracted to success.

 

I think everyone has a different idea of success.

Some feel that success is brining in the big money, having lots of luxuries, etc.

Others feel that providing for their family and living without all the luxuries is being successful.

As long as the family has food on the table, clothes on their back, and a roof over their head, I think that is success.

I won't judge anyone for how they see their success. I'm positive that I am NOT going to get jealous when someone wants to be successful, no matter what they see as success.

*Well, that sounded a lot better in my head, than it did as I typed it lol*

 

Since I've never dated a BW, I'm not an expert on the subject. LOL I was just trying to clarify what I thought FH was saying. I understand what you are saying about gold diggers and that success would bring more money in the home, but I don't think that all women are about money. Some are more interested in power and control than money. They don't want to see their man do well because they might leave them or they wouldn't be able to boss them around and put them down. It has to do with their own insecurities as to why they wouldn't want to see their partner succeed. I'm exactly the opposite. There is enough room in my relationships for both of us to be successful. I want my man to succeed because I want him to be happy and not for what he is going to bring financially to the table. I want to be proud of him and to be able to point and say 'That is my man!!'

 

Thanks for the confirmation. I'm starting to get really worn down from tax season so I thought my reading ability might be lacking tonight.

 

I have just seen bw who seem to need to prove things and sometimes at the expense of their man. A personal observation only. I would never compete with/be jealous of my man as we are supposed to be a team. If he succeeds then it's us and the same for me if I succeed.

 

I agree completely Jordan. I'm competitive but not within a relationship. I have no issue with a man being successful and in no way see that as any type of threat or undesirable trait. I would support him in anything he chose to undertake, as my primary goal would always be to see him happy.

 

i completely agree...infact, i think that is just one aspect that draws some black men to date ww...we want to see our men be successful...encourage it...nurture it...massage it...cheerlead when they are successful and there to pick up the pieces and brainstorm when things aren't so wonderful...

i was completely shocked when kimbo mentioned that his woman bailed when things got rough...i would not have expected that to happen

having said that...i want to contribute as much as possible to a partnership...i think ahead to retirement...if we both work hard we can play hard later

 

rayer: rayer: rayer: Very good observation JC.

I can only speak about my experience with black women and what you described is what I have experienced several times. It even gets to the point where some can even be very emasculating. As a man, you DON'T like that feeling especially coming from someone you are in a relationship with.

WW in general have just been a breath of fresh air to me. Their soft and love being feminine and are not trying to compete with their mate. Its a TEAM thing with them and not an INDIVIDUAL thing.

 

She was a gold digger who I met when everything was going good.

Since that has happened, there have been a lot more ww who have come forward to help me than turn their backs and run. I've been spending a lot of time trying to savage what I can from my businesses. I was going to spend all Easter sunday at the storage unit where I keep all of my business papers and just do paper work all day.

This one female friend, who figured I'd be doing just that, stopped by the strorage facility where I was and told me she was taking me on a date. Told me she'd pay for everything and all I had to do was get in her car, she'd even drive. It wasn't until I was out with her did I realize how stress was beginning to take its toll on me.

There are way, way more ww like her than like my ex-girlfriend. That's why my ex is the furthest thing from my mind right now.

 

I hope you can get your business turned around. Sounds like you have a good attitude in all this. I would be the same way...........I would be saying next!! Life's too short to mess with people who don't love and respect you like you deserve.

 

where exactly is this storage facility located...you never know who might want to take you on a date:smt045

 

I will, its just a matter of time. I built it once so I know I can do it again. Didn't expect to have to start from scratch again but whatever.