too cautious in dating

i had just finished talking to my brother...we talked about dating. at one point i thought i was being overly cautious. he stated "no" and a friend of mine confirmed his opinion.

question: do you think you can be too cautious in dating?

 

I was wondering the same thing but a recent experience said NO.
Just always listen to your gut and don't believe everything a person wants you to believe.

 

yep...a while back i dated a woman for almost a year and the more she talked the faster i wanted out.

it was the little things that added up. i ended it very quickly when i got enuff of the pic

 

very true listen to your gut. you just shouldnt close your eyes to everything because ge or she is cute or say the right things at the rite time

 

You seem incredibly patient, like a generally good hearted man. Is that why you lasted so long with her? Trying to give her the benefit of the doubt when things seemed off? I typically call it quits after a few weeks if things aren't adding up or if there are just gaps in our personalities. I'm typically quick to walk though. You seem like the opposite, which isn't a bad thing.

 

thx... i think being patient can be a bad thing too. cause u can waste time with someone and their time.

i just really wanted to listen wholly cause people can say dumb things so one should look at the whole.

i think thats where relationships /dating in general go wrong.

people will judge on a snippet (depends on the snippett) w/o the whole.

 

^^^depending on the snippet you see, sometimes they don't deserve the chance to show you anything else. Maybe that's my quick-to-run attitude talking but I have a zero tolerance policy for bullshit lol. Some things are just make or break for me. I think some people are so desperate for love that they're patient to a fault, like you said, and really put their happiness aside hoping that one day the person they're being patient with will turn into the man/woman of their dreams.

To answer the question YES you can be too cautious. When dating, people must use some level of caution and boundaries to avoid getting their heart stomped at every turn however I was always overly cautious...never really letting my guard down, never completely trusting the other person, always having a plan b in the back of my head. IMO, that's being too cautious. It's hard to find true love when you're that guarded. It wasn't until the :heart: of my life came along, that I realized how wrong I'd been with my previous way of handling dating. Everything felt right from the first meeting with this man and for some reason I went against everything I usually do, and just went with it. Threw caution to the wind and let this man love me like I deserved to be loved. Being too cautious can keep you closed to finding real happiness. That's my experience anyways.

 

well stated....have to have some balance and distinguish between just a fumbled statement and character issues.

the one thing i totally agree in that just accepting someone just because.....

i try to remember not to make those fumvles when first start dating cause u only get one shot to make an impression.

with that being said people cant hide crazy forever or u two being not a good fit

 

I think you can absolutely be too cautious in dating. Just as you can not be cautious enough. I think it's important to have a balance between head and heart, but to really follow your true instincts.

I think everyone has make it or break it's, but I've noticed that many people have a list that gets longer and longer, and more detailed as they get older. I think it is important to clearly know what really are make it or break its for you and hold your boundaries.

If you notice, when talking to people who are either in very long relationships or who have been in them, most of the things they complain about or ended up breaking the relationship were things that they saw in the early days but they dismissed or discounted their own feelings and thoughts about it.

On the other side, many people are quick to walk over ridiculous things that really are not "make it or break its" for them. It's like they are looking for something - anything to walk over! In these causes most often they are afraid and it may be something they need to take a look at. The truth is many people are not really ready or open to a relationship and yet they are out there saying they are.

 

Yes you can. I don't care to elaborate. Sip sip.

 

Trust your gut. There are far too many crazies, diseases, and time wasters out there. Be cautious, be safe, eat well, and live well.

 

I definitely feel like you should trust your gut, but I am guilty sometimes of being too patient and giving someone the benefit of the doubt, only to have wasted several months or years and then finally just being tired of being sick and tired with the situation so I will walk away

by then, I may have missed out on countless opportunities to find my true love and happiness. but who knows; nobody's perfect and everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. offering too many chances constitutes being taken for granted so there are several shades of gray.

 

I am merely good comany. Not boyfriend material. So I understand if a woman doesn't want to date me. I am also very picky. So, I do have to be careful about prosective dates(if any).